think pink.

it's a girl. a perfect, healthy, growing, beautiful, more-than-i-could-ever-hope-for girl.

she's 11 onces, 8.4 inches. we saw all four chambers of her heart, her spine, her femur, both her arms and legs and hands and feet, her kidneys, her umbilical cord and her perfect face. she has a forehead, eyes, a nose, lips and a chin and neck. i guess babies are born with all those perfect things every day, but it's absolutely amazing to me that she's so tiny with all those things in place and working already and INSIDE ME. they kept my due date the same -- apparently her growth progress is right in the 50th percentile. she's in a breech position and her butt is down on top of my bladder (an explanation for endless peeing..), and her legs are folded up next to her head, practically. she was waving her arms and her legs and kicking me all over. i already want to hold her. i'm longing to hold her.

for the longest time the sonogram lady couldn't see whether it was a boy or a girl because her butt was pushed up against my bladder. seriously, for 15 minutes she couldn't tell, and i was really thinking, "i WILL stay here until you tell me what it is..." and then she started drawing this sort of scribbly line on the side of the baby's head on the profile picture she captured to give us. she kept talking to us, and then three minutes later or something she says, "do you know what that is?" talking about the drawing. i said, "....no." she said, "it's a bow. you're having a beautiful baby girl." and then the sobbing started. apparently landon knew it was a bow as soon as she drew it. he was just sitting on the other side of me holding my hand the whole time, waiting for me to realize or the sonogram lady to say something. this crying was ridiculous, i'm telling you. i was trying not to cry, because my belly bounces, and she's trying to see little, tiny things on the baby. well, instead it would just escape every now and then in these awkward, desperate sob-sounding things -- to the point where she asked me (three times) if i needed to get up or stop or get a drink of water. it really wasn't that bad, but i just had so much built up over the whole thing that i needed a good solid cry for about five minutes straight. instead, it was 15 more minutes of ridiculous-souding gasps. slightly embarassing, but i imagine things get a lot more embarassing in this process before it's over.

landon was so sweet. he didn't laugh at me (he should've). he just stood up and brushed my hair from my face and bent down to kiss me every so often and wipe my tears away.

it was really incredible.

then we went to old navy and then target to try to find a baby girl dress. we picked this perfect little light brown (Carter's) corduroy dress with tiny pink flowers all over it from target. underneath is a long-sleeved pink onesie with flowers on the ends of the sleeves and little tiny velvet bows underneath the flowers. i'm going to put her in light pink tights with it, and wrap her up so tight so she's not cold in february.

it was...amazing.

i have a daughter.

**coming soon: the sonogram picture, photos of our first baby girl shopping trip and a special "girl" portrait. now if i could only find my camera cord...**

baby room progress.

there hasn't been any technical progress made on the actual baby's room, but the time is drawing nearer because of the progress made on ellie's new room.

i believe i've said it before, but she's moving to the big front room (formerly the guest room) so the smaller room that's closer to ours can be gray's nursery.

yesterday, with beautiful "cutting in" help from angela and a lovely two-coat job by kylah, ellie's room got painted. it's a light purple-y color, very close to what she had in her original nursery in plano. there are some touch ups that need to be done on the ceiling, window sills and the door jamb, but it looks really good, in my opinion.

today i scraped this ridiculous yellow ticky tack off of the ceiling that was there when we moved in. you know, little tiny dots that probably held those plastic glow-in-the-dark stars or something. i also swept the floors, dusted the window sills and fans, removed old window treatment hardware (also from the previous tenant) and cleaned the floors with some special hardwood-cleaning stuff.

there's one more project to complete before we move e's stuff in there: painting the baseboards. the baseboards through this entire house are horrid looking. best we can tell, they restained the wood floors, slopped the stain up on the white baseboards and left it that way. the walls through the whole house (except the now-purple room) are an olive greenish, taupe color, and, for some reason, the nasty baseboards are slightly masked next to this paint color. next to a vibrant purple, however, they are blaringly jacked up. so...we're going to give them a couple coats of white so clean up the look. also, kylah had this genius idea of running a line of caulk (david, you may be volunteered for this project) along the top of the baseboards after they're painted for a crisp, clean line. i LOVE that idea.

anyway...i'd totally be painting the boards now, while ellie is napping, but the tape landon bought me is in david's truck which is at the church. boo. i planned to have her in the new room tonight, but i think it might be thursday night. i want to get her in there asap so she can get used to it before gray comes.

then we'll have eight weeks to get everything ready in his room.

i bought some green paint for his room yesterday when we bought ellie's, but it's looking too bright/yellow for what i'm wanting now that i have it home. i'm annoyed because that's $13 wasted in addition to the $13 wasted for the 2nd gallon of paint we bought for ellie's room. it's a big room, and i didn't think one gallon would go the whole way for two coats. it's was the exact amount. i should've known better. i wish walmart would take paint returns. poop.

anyway, i'm going to have to go to lowe's or home depot, i think, to pick a color for gray's room. they just didn't have enough selection at walmart. i've been told that you can pick a color at lowe's or home depot and take it to walmart where they can match it in their generic brand. cheaper, you know. that's what i'm going to try.

i'll take pictures of ellie's room once her furniture is moved and walls adorned. there are a few things we've had since she was born that have never gone up in her room (pottery barn box shelves, pottery barn metal hooks with pink glass knobs) due to space limitations and a few new things (a big, round, pink shag rug, a new ellie-sized purple bean bag chair, a tile mirror collage, pottery barn white, sailcloth curtains) that will round out her larger big-girl room. it should be fun.

even though i'm excited, i'm feeling a little blue. i've admitted my strange, nostalgic connection with rooms, and i think the combination of that and knowing that our lives are about to be so different is making me wistful.

it'll be OK though. i know that. the Lord has great things in store for my children. both of them. they are an immeasurable blessing.

monday morning musings, part I.

there are two things dominating the swirl of thoughts in my head this morning. in this post, we will address the first one: ellie's birthday party.

late saturday night, i had a breakthrough on her invitations. i'd been trying and trying to get them to look the way i wanted, but i didn't really know what i wanted so that wasn't going well. i have tons of paper left over from her birth announcements and since i'm using a valentine's theme, i was trying very hard to come up with a design i could pull off without buying anything. i have tons of stuff, but i couldn't make it work for some reason. but... late saturday night, mission (almost) accomplished! the only thing i had to buy was pink glitter glue. i went to target yesterday (hobby lobby is closed on sundays..) on the off chance they would have something. THEY HAVE PINK GLITTER GLUE IN THE DOLLAR SPOT!!! i was so excited. obviously. so... i'm making ellie's invitations for $4 plus the cost of postage. sweetness.

i have gotten quite a few things from target, as a matter of fact. they have lots of cute valentine stuff in the dollar spot including little metal buckets i'm going to fill with valentine candy, glittery banners that say "love" or "xoxo," sparkly stickers and pencils for prizes, scrapbook paper (12 sheets for $1!) that i'm going to punch hearts out of for decoration, etc. etc. the store also has really cute valentine's stuff that isn't in the dollar spot. particularly, these melamine plates and trays and cups that have adorable cupcakes on them that say "sweetie pie." they are $1.99 each or i'd buy them for the whole party. instead, i got one for the birthday girl. i also got a red picture frame that has the cupcake on it. i'm going to use it to display a super cute picture of ellie at the party.

i'm still debating whether to have cupcakes made or just make them myself, though i am leaning toward making them myself. more budget conscious, you know. regardless, i want them to be vanilla cake with pink icing topped with x's and o's.

so all i have left to buy are snacks and drinks (maybe a valentine punch?) for the guests, paper plates and napkins for everyone besides ellie and the ingredients for the cupcakes if i'm going to make them. (would i be a terrible person to make her first birthday cupcakes from a box?)

i think i'm doing OK... i also have several ideas for games/activities that i don't wanna post 'cause i want them to be a surprise!

let me know if you can think of anything i'm forgetting..

planning a birthday party is fun.

the shelf project. finally.

awhile back i moved the big, black, ikea corner bookshelf from our living room to the kitchen. i rearranged the living room, and the bookshelf was weighing it down on one end. i had been trying to come up with a good way to store my etsy/craft supplies, bills, things to-be-filed, etc. through a collaboration with delana, it was determined that the shelf in the kitchen with baskets would be a good idea.

i moved the shelf to the kitchen where it was immediately covered in piles and piles of junk. it has remained that way for some time. i purchased the baskets a few weeks ago half off at hobby lobby. they sat in my car for awhile.

finally, today, i bit the bullet.

before:

after:

there was no question that the baskets had to have lids. having baskets designated for specific things and actually putting those things in said baskets is a big step for me. having OPEN baskets is too much. that means what's inside would have to be presentable. not gonna happen. with the exception of my projects-in-progress basket, which usually contains pretty things, lids abound. my nine baskets are: 1.) things to be filed, 2.) things to be dealt with (bills, etc.), 3.) inspiration/to-do projects, 4.) rubber stamps, 5.) paper/cards/envelopes, 6.) ink & writing utensils, 7.) miscellaneous craft supplies (spray paint, mod podge, sponge brushes, acrylic paints), 8.) projects-in-progress and 9.) ribbon & string.

i accessorized with some random stuff i already had. a gold ikea lantern, some retro fire king pottery, a hand painted japanese bowl and jadite-colored tin that i purchased at antique stores and a little house plant in an ikea planter.

the card sets are a couple of etsy orders i MUST finish soon. not shown is poor jenny's set of thank yous that is 1 million years overdue.

i don't think it's perfect. i'm sure some tweaking will go on with the presentation. in fact, i think i may move the basket off the very top of the shelf as soon as i publish this post. it looks weird. please comment with suggestions and thoughts. don't be shy. i know your decorating skills rock.

regardless, the after is light years better than the before!

now, i'm inspired to straighten the rest of my kitchen.

sweetness.

***

edited later: see? changed the top already. kylah said the basket on top would be better with some other stuff added. i tried something with a teapot and a cake stand, but it looked sorta weird. this is a glass ikea (can you tell i like ikea?) pitcher with black river rocks and pink flowers cut from the bushes in my front yard. what do you think? better?

my RIDICULOUSLY talented friend natalie.

ok folks... get ready to be impressed. my friend natalie is an amazing writer and she's going to be a famous novelist someday. no joke. she's amazing. following is a submission of hers to a creative writing contest. the assignment was to write a "proposal" - not necessarily a marriage proposal - as it would appear in a romance novel. or something like that. the assignment isn't really important because the writing rocks regardless of why she wrote it. read and enjoy. but remember: this writing is copyright natalie hankins brown and any stealing of it will get you killed by me or someone equally scary!!!! oh and the picture is nat and her husband at their sept. 17 wedding. isn't she lovely?

***

"Bloody, hell. Bloody, bloody hell!"

Jacki shook the thin white stick violently, her eyes squeezed shut tightly
praying to the gods of the irresponsible that that little pink line would
disappear.

She placed the stick at the edge of the sink and sank, eyes closed to her knees
her elbows resting just to the edge of that life-altering piece of plastic.
Opening her eyes she stared at the tiny screen that told her future as clearly
as a mediums crystal ball.

"Bloody hell," she sighed. She scrambled to her feet as the restroom door
smacked her smartly on the back of the head.

"Oh! Sorry, didn't know anyone was in here*" The woman trailed off as Jacki
snatched the pregnancy test off the edge of the sink, but not before the quick
eyes of the stranger spotted it.

"Oh! It's pink! That's good right? You're gonna have a baby! Oh that's so sweet!
And you just found out! How exciting!"

The woman rambled on as Jacki stuffed the stick deep inside her purse, her face
twice as pink as that damning line. And as the strangers' thoughts processed
along she took a quick glance at Jacki's ring less left hand and her look of
grandmotherly elation changed to concern.

Her humiliation complete, Jacki mumbled her way out of the door and back into
pharmacy aisles scrambling for escape. In her hurry she tripped over a toddler
playing in the aisle, propelling herself forward a few wobbly feet to the left.
Jacki found herself nose to nose with a six foot condom display covered in rows
of neon colored boxes "made for her pleasure."

"A little late for that kind of sign," she muttered, rolling her eyes to the
heavens, and taking one last glance at that toddler gumming away on a sticky
sucker. "And the kid was a bit much, don't you think?"

Usually not much for conversations with God, Jacki nonetheless continued her
conversation with the big man along the three block walk back to her office.

"Okay so I should've been more careful. You've made that clear," she mumbled
making her way across the cracked sidewalk. "But he's so beautiful and sweet
it's hard to tell him no. Okay, okay, no one was saying no that night. And yes I
wore that dress on purpose and it worked. Okay, fine! Just blame it all on me!"

Pushing her dark hair out of her face in frustration, Jacki found herself in
front of the offices of Jackson, Hewitt and Marks.
"What's done is done," she said ignoring the confused look from the Mack, the
security guard at the front desk. She marched to the elevator and punched four,
tapping her three inch heel in anticipation.

Gliding silently to the fourth floor she tried to form the words in her mind.
"I'm knocked up. I'm with child." But the words that came tumbling out of her
mouth when the elevator doors opened to reveal her coworker and partner in crime
were a little less weighty and a little more inane.

"Trey. Hi! Whatcha doing? Busy day?" She bubbled incoherently in a high pitched
tremor as Trey stepped onto the elevator.

"It's been fine* are you okay?" He asked the normally cool and collected Jacki.

"Oh I'm fine, I'm fine, great actually. Oh Trey, I'm pregnant." She said, the
words tumbling out before she could stop herself.

"You're what?!" Trey said his easy smile shifting into shock. The doors to the
elevator opened on the third floor and Jacki made a move towards escape. "Oh, no
you don't," Trey said corralling her back into the elevator. Shooing away the
would-be passengers and pinning her against the wall of the elevator with his
long body, he waited until the doors closed before smashing the emergency stop
button. "Now one more time, slowly," Trey said, his body still pressed against
hers and his face inches from her own.

"I'm pregnant."

Trey's left hand slid slowly from the wall, into the small space between their
bodies to rest on Jacki's still taut lower abdomen. "Mine." He whispered without
question but with authority and reverence, knowing that in the past year she had
not been with another.

"Yes," she whispered. "Oh, bloody hell," the realization of the moment finally
sinking in.

"Well*" Trey said softly and they stood for a long moment, locked in their
half-embrace as their world changed. Finally breaking the silence Trey spoke up.
"Hon. I know you're having a moment here and so am I but there's something I've
been waiting to do*" Unwilling to move his hand from between their bodies, Trey
shifted to allow Jacki access to his side pocket. "Reach in there and tell me
what you find."

Confused, her mind still racing from her revelation, Jacki had her left hand
deep inside Trey's pocket before it occurred to her to crack a joke. "If you're
looking for a little action in the elevator Mister*" Suddenly something cold
slid itself on to Jacki's finger and her heart stuttered. Twisting her hand out
of Trey's pocket, the dim fluorescent light of the elevator revealed what her
heart had already guessed. Sitting there above the knuckle on her left hand, a
diamond solitaire had already found its home.

Shifting just slightly away from Jacki, Trey kneeled at her feet leaving his
hand on her abdomen and on their future.

"Baby," he spoke softly into the folds of her skirt's waistline and then into
her eyes, "Jacki, will you marry me?"

"Oh bloody hell* yes."

nursery nook progress.

the nook.

i'm contemplating the new baby's space (along with the master as a whole) on the regular these days. i thought i'd post some progress to see if you guys had any input.

as you'll see in the photos, we now have a rug! it's a crazy nice carpet that my mom has loaned me long-term since she doesn't really have use for it in her apartment at the moment. seriously, never in my wildest dreams would we have been able to get a rug like this in here if we were purchasing one so i'm way pumped. obtaining this rug has basically negated the color/inspiration board i posted awhile back. some of the pieces may still work, but the scheme itself wasn't going to.

i am consistently drawn to light, bright rooms with darker oriental or persian style rugs on wood floors so that's what i'm attempting to accomplish in here eventually.

the walls are staying bare so far because painting the room is the first order of business. below are the two chips i've been contemplating. it's super hard to tell the difference on here, but the right one is first star and the left is oyster white, both sherwin williams. i think i'm going with oyster white because it's a more creamy, ivory color that looks better with our headboard. first star is more gray. the wall painting should get started this week.

painting the walls is going to make a huge difference in lightening the space, which i think will help me make the next decisions. i'm also contemplating a window treatment for that window. there are blinds there now. i can't decide if that's enough.

like should i paint this shelf? my granddaddy built it, and it was in many a playroom while i was growing up. it's got lots of water spots and pencil marks on it so it could use a good refinishing. but i also sort of dig how it wears its history.

the cradle we already had with the bedding we already had. i am open to getting a new cradle sheet in some sort of print. the bouncer we already had with an ikea sheepskin. the vintage book holder was used in my great-aunt's classroom, and i will not be painting it. i need to do a closeup of the awesome baby animals painted on it. so fab. i am contemplating how to use its available storage.

this is a random iron shelf that i bought at kirkland's and am not at all opposed to painting it. right now, it's also where the clothes we have reside. i'm pretty sure they won't stay there. where will they go? i don't know. our closet is pretty packed already. i don't have to keep this shelf in here if i don't need the space. but somehow, i'm guessing i will.

i'm planning on some art hanging on the blank wall there above the bouncer and book holder. i have a million things heart'd on etsy. i just need to decide what look and color scheme i want.

i could scoot this shelf over to the other side of the window (moving the book shelf and bouncer) and put the glider that currently resides in gray's room here. i'm hesitating on that because i'm betting i'll mostly bring the baby into the bed to nurse and cuddle. but it's not totally off the table. also, that chair is, like, sage green. not sure how that mixes.

regarding the color palate so far: there isn't much that says baby girl besides the pink clothes hanging on the iron shelf. the things on top of the shelf were all purchased before we knew she was a she. i am not super bothered by the neutrality of the space since she will be sharing the room with her daddy. i'm not sure he'd love a cotton candy explosion in his sleeping space. nor would i, honestly. and i want the room to look cohesive. but...i'd love to do some things that make it obvious that a baby girl sleeps here.



we need new bedding. i (think i) want to stay white (or some neutral variation), but need a bigger comforter and would love something linen or equally textural. my dream bedding is from restoration hardware. (ha. ha, ha. ha, ha, HA.) this bedside table is just a decorator table i had on hand. i'd love to find something different.

i am also open to getting lighter window treatments for this set of sliding glass doors. currently they are a brown tweed-like fabric that block out all light when closed. landon insists that the bedroom should be pitch black, but i like things a little lighter...

so, to recap:

• i am open to any furniture rearrangement (or elimination) within the nook. (the bed and dresser need to stay put.)
• should i bring in the green glider?
  
• should i paint the wooden shelf? what color?
  
• should i paint the iron shelf? what color?
  
• how can i make it more girly?
• what other colors should i mix in to lighten things up?
• how should i organize her stuff on the shelves?
• how should i store her clothes?
• should i add/change window treatments?
• should i leave the cradle bedding plain ivory or buy a patterned sheet?
• what type/color/look should i go for on the art wall?

in conclusion, creating a nursery nook in an existing room is harder than creating a nursery in a stand-alone room. please, tell me you have genius ideas.

sweet love, even from strangers and maternity for pennies.

i know i said this a couple days ago in a post, but the amount of support and excitement from people about this pregnancy has just been enormous. here's one of the best examples from someone i've only ever seen once (at nat's wedding) and never actually met in person:

"Congratulations! I only know you through Natalie and cyber-space, and our brief connection with the Dove commercial... but CONGRATULATIONS! It's funny how I don't know you personally, but I am over the moon excited for you! LOL, the Internet makes this such a small world... so just wanted to let you know that prayers for your little miracle are coming all the way from Tennessee! ~ Caroline"

caroline is a fellow blogger and, at any moment, is about to celebrate her one-year anniversary with her husband rusty. wasn't that so kind of her to post? i think so. and it's been that way with everyone. nothing but offers to help and huge, sweet smiles of excitement. makes it hard not to be excited myself.

__________________________________________

my mom and i went to look at cribs yesterday at baby depot inside burlington coat factory. there wasn't much there that i wanted - it was a little messy and most everything was still on the too-frilly-and-traditional-baby side for me. landon and i are minimalists (as far as decor goes) and we're thinking we want something simple and tastefully modern. no classic pooh. no baby pink or baby blue. something....else. we'll find it.

even though nothing knocked me over in the nursery decorating department, mom and i did go to willow bend mall and the japanese weekend maternity store. it was so fun! you can try on maternity clothes - i have a tiny belly that i'm convinced is a little bit bigger than it was before, even if only by centimeters - no matter what size you are at this place. and they're supposed to last you from two months to nine months. their stuff is extremely comfortable and very, very cute. and like i said, the rumor is i can wear it from now until baby is ready to face the world. i got some super awesome jeans with adoreable details on the back pockets. they just have an elastic band around the top to expand when i need. oh, fyi, all the jw maternity pants are meant to fit under your belly, not like old school all-the-way-up-to-under-your-boobs. i also got a little black dress that wraps and ties and you just tie it looser as your belly grows. i'm sure i'll be wearing that for everything i need to dres up for during my pregnancy. and two shirts: a three-quarter-length sleeved one that has this faux wrap thing that is great. and an empire waist one with pink, sheer cap sleeves and tons of colors in this great design. their clothes are normally $60 to $150, but all of this was on triple markdown and then 15 percent off that. i got it all for about $150. good stuff. i've also bought three sweaters, one maternity, two more that are just larges, and a super cute hooded grey and white striped shirt (also maternity) from old navy, and i think the most expensive one of those was $6.49. seriously, sweaters for $3 and $4. LOVE old navy.

anyway.. enough rambling about clothes. i will looks for some pictures to post if i can find them of the jw stuff. it's so cute!

from the patio.

it's muggy. the birds have a lot to say. i can't see the sun setting; the building is to my west. but the clouds are pink. pink on a periwinkle sky.

i've inherited a bistro table. it needs some work. peeling green paint and rust. but it serves its purpose. and for now, i like to dream up how i'm going to improve it.

for those of you who were following, we aborted the previous patio project selection for one reason and one reason only: a lack of $300.

sucks, but i think i can make this work.

i still have a bunch of junk to clean off of here.

i have a bunch of junk to clean in more than one area of my life. seems like all areas.

you know how you're perfectly aware of the mistakes that others have made or are making, and then you find yourself doing the same thing? literally, right before your eyes, you make them. and you're mad at yourself. but you do it anyway.

or you know the things you want to do, but you don't do them? yeah.

my asparagas fern is tall. i planted that and vinca vine with some flowers when i started beautifying this little slab of concrete. the flowers are (mostly) alive, but the greens are flourishing. full and lush and upright.

oh well. i wanted to say something, but i haven't.

ellie fusses.

take 2.

so i got the dress for the wedding in the mail yesterday. it's super cute and super small. it's also super pink. it's supposed to be a more dusty pink according to the photo online, but it's much brighter in real life. the lace overlay is actually not at all the same as the photo. the floral pattern is completely different. so..i showed it to kelly tonight, and she's not impressed. i have to return it. but, take heart, i've already found (and ordered) another option. i got a great deal on the first dress, but this one is $36! it's BCBG on overstock.com. love it. tell me what you think.



also good news: this dress comes in s, m, l and xl. i ordered a medium, which should work no matter how much weight i lose before the wedding. anywhere from a half a dress size to two and a half dress sizes, and i should still be a medium. good times.

heard this on the radio this morning. it's a good thing i hadn't put on my makeup yet.

the cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five.

waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

"oh mommy please, mommy. can i have them? please, mommy, please?"

quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box, and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

"a dollar ninety-five. that's almost $2. if you really want them, i'll think of some extra chores for you, and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. your birthday's only a week away, and you might get another crisp dollar bill from gandma."

as soon as jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. after dinner, she did more than her share of chores, and she went to the neighbor to ask mrs. mcjames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents.

on her birthday, grandma did give her another new dollar bill, and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

jenny loved her pearls. they made her feel dressed up and grown up. she wore them everywhere - sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. the only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

jenny had a very loving daddy, and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story.

one night as he finished the story, he asked jenny, "do you love me?"

"oh yes, daddy. you know that i love you."

"then give me your pearls."

"oh, daddy, not my pearls. but you can have princess, the white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail. remember, daddy? the one you gave me. she's my very favorite."'

"that's OK, honey, daddy loves you. good night." and he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

about a week later, after the story time, jenny's daddy asked again, "do you love me?"

"daddy, you know i love you."

"then give me your pearls."

"oh daddy, not my pearls. but you can have my baby doll. the brand new one i got for my birthday. she is beautiful, and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

"that's OK. sleep well. God bless you, little one. daddy loves you." and as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

a few nights later when her daddy came in, jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed indian style. as he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling, and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"what is it, jenny? what's the matter?"

jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. with a little quiver, she finally said, "here, daddy, this is for you."

with tears gathering in his own eyes, jenny's daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet box with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to jenny. he had them all the time.

he was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure.

thirty.

tonight i was reading ellie a book. i have read her a few books in her short six months, but i will admit that i wish i'd been doing it more often. tonight, on the night of her half-year birthday, i committed to read her at least one book every night.

we read a book called 'adeline.' delana gave ellie the book during the san angelo baby shower, i believe. i'd never read it before tonight when i was reading to e. the whole thing rhymes, and it's super cute. it's about a little girl who loves valentine's day, and gets about a million valentines. they all talk about how they love her, but there is one who loves her more. she goes through the day getting so many valentines, just waiting. finally she finds out who loves her most.

"so adeline cleared off her little pink chair,
and she sat down, exhausted, and whispered a prayer:

'i thank you, dear God, for this beautiful day,
for the thousands of valentines you sent my way.
but tell me, dear God, i'm asking you please,
who could possibilty care for me
more than all these?'

'my dear child,' whispered God in a voice small and still,
'you have asked me to tell you, and tell you i will.

these valentine wishes have helped you to see
that the one who loves adeline greatest is ME!

i gave you your family.
i gave you good friends.
i gave you your hair that curls up on the ends.
i gave you the flowers.
i gave you the trees.
i gave you milk chocolate. i gave you swiss cheese!

all the things in this world i have given with pleasure
to show you, my child, that it's YOU that i treasure.'"

um.. hello. remind me not to read outloud before i know how a book ends. if ellie knew any better, she'd think i was nutso.

***

i've been thinking all day about how to approach this post about david and delana on their 30th anniversary. i really don't think i have words. but after reading that book to ellie, i started thinking about how God has shown me His love by blessing me with them as family. i cannot describe to you the esteem in which i hold them. they have provided for me. supported me. encouraged me. exhorted me. they have challenged me, comforted me and listened to me.

most of all, they have loved me.

from the second i met them, the love of God has radiated through them and penetrated my heart and soul.

there will never, ever, ever be a way to repay or explain the gift i have been given in these two individuals. not only are they wonderful, but all three of their children have blessed my life in incomprehendable ways!

i could ramble here forever.

david & delana,

i hope you are enjoying your anniversary trip. your marriage is an inspiration to me, and i can only hope to someday make a fraction of the difference in someone else's life that you have made in mine.

i love you more than words.

your daughter,

sarah

a very small p.s. here... isn't david stinkin' handsome! still is. man, you're lucky, mama. :)

baby shower no. 3

this was my shower from a couple weekends ago. it was completely wonderful. laid-back, lots of close friends and family, great food and my aunt's super comfortable house. nat bought me a ton of cute clothes, molly did too and made the most precious scrapbook and my sister, mom and future sister-in-law bought me a prenatal massage and warm cream pedicure at the elizabeth arden red door spa at willow bend mall. i cashed in my gift certificate for that last wednesday, and it was more than fantastic. ellie's wardrobe doubled again, i think -- she got some really beautiful stuff. my sister also, in tandem with her boyfriend, made the sweetest homemade bug drawings for the nursery. they are super cute and special. mom got ellie a really sweet pink sweater and red full-body jacket, complete with scarf. both are in the diaper bag ready to take to the hospital in case it's cold on her homecoming day. becky and katie got us ikea gift cards, and we plan to go buy ellie's dresser and a bookshelf either today or tomorrow. my gramma bought ellie an adoreable outfit (complete with matching doll), a CD and a target gift card, which helped us buy the stroller/infant seat. and my aunt, in addition to hosting the whole thing in her lovely home, gave us the money to buy a CD player for the nursery. it was really an amazing time, and i was showered with even more blessings. i don't think they'll ever end.





these are photos nat took. molly and mom have some too. i'll post those when (if?) i get them.

the breast cancer 3-day.

this would have been an excellent time to use a slideshow. that just occured to me...after i uploaded all 20-some pictures here.

opening ceremonies: mom was nominated to be in a circle of nine survivors who carried in flags with words that exemplified our attitudes toward the cause of erradicating breast cancer. mom's flag said "commitment."

here she is walking out all pretty. it was an inspirational ceremony.

laura and i huddling for warmth during opening ceremonies. it was c-o-l-d that morning and even c-o-l-d-e-r out at south fork with nothing around but fields.

the flags lined up to send off the mass of thousands of walkers.

our team minus jennifer. we wouldn't catch up to her until pit stop 1. the girl you don't know is tinika, mom's former coworker. she's greatness.

one of the, ahem, creatively decorated sweep vans. these traveled along the sides of the road to pick up walkers that needed a break. i think we saw one at least every 10 miutes. they were all equally entertaining.

another sweep van. saving 2nd base. i love that so much. hilarious.

here we are walking on day 1, still rather jolly. the last three miles of day 1 got hard. we walked all 20 miles that day.

this is the end of day 2. i got less enthusiastic about taking pictures on day 2. both laura and i were injured and we only made it 12 miles this day. it was still great though. this picture includes jennifer. she's in the white shirt on the front row. poor girl had to go home after day 2 because she was getting sick, rolled her ankle and was dehydrated on day 1 so badly that she had to get two ivs and sit in the med tent all day. we missed her badly. she did come back for closing ceremonies to walk in with the team, which was awesome.

here are our all three of our tents. it's a contest to decorate your tent, but also a necessity in a sea of pink. otherwise, you'll never find your own.

my cheeseball sister in our tent. the first night was SO freezing. i thought i was gonna die. the second night, seen here, was cold but much better.

laura and i laying in our tent. i have sunburn. lots of sunburn.

mom and laura on the morning of day 3. we took our time getting packed and ready because we decided to ride the sag bus (ha!) to lunch and skip the first half of the day. we were all injured and really wanted to make it into closing. so we hitched a ride to beautiful white rock lake, got bandaged up by the medical team and ate lunch. then we set out for our final 10 miles. (that's 42 miles of a possible 60 for those of you following along at home.)

laura and i at holding. we made it! this is where we hung out for a few hours until all the walkers made it in, and we took our final victory walk together. i love how both our bandanas show, "everyone deserves a lifetime" and mine says, "best friends." fitting.

the whole crew, minus jennifer of course. the lady in the purple is my gramma. she's a breast cancer survivor too, and, though i didn't know this until we got there, she was working the merchandise tent at holding! it was way cool to get to hang out with her at the end of our journey.

enough said.

our team logo on the back of laura's shirt. we were the three r's - "remember, remind and rejoice." mom came up with the name and the design. the bottom of her shirt says, "remembering those who have fought the fight, rejoicing in the chance to join the fight and reminding the world that the fight isn't over." pretty stinkin good, huh? not only is mom brave and beautiful, she's super creative!

speaking of beautiful... look at that hair!

once the last walker came into holding, we all linked arms in rows of 10. the survivors went first and then the rest of the walkers. we marched this way through the campus of smu and onto the lawn in front of dallas hall among a sea of supporters.

laura and i walking the victory walk.

balloons released at closing ceremonies.

my fanny pack and flowers from sweet taylor, laura's boyfriend.

the tennis-shoe salute at closing ceremonies. we found out that as a group, we raised $6.4 million for breast cancer research. there are 12 events across the country each year, and i figured if each raised an average of $7 million then the breast cancer 3-day raised $84 million this year alone! completely incredible.

my babies! i missed them so much.

could anyone have asked for a better family? i don't think so.

the love of my life who knows just how much i need to hear that he's proud of me.

beautiful baldness and beautiful baby.

she was a huge fan of our mardi gras beads.

the reason i walked and will continue to walk: "no breast cancer for ellie!"