family photos.

sibling sweetness.

yay for cousins!

yay for cousins again!

happy family.

thanksgiving crafts.

look what my sweet babies did with babysitter-of-the-year-eowyn yesterday!

they made teepees out of ice cream cones, frosting and sprinkles and turkeys out of tracings of their hands and feet. i love them. so stinkin cute. ellie colored her own turkey and gray had a bit of help from eowyn. there were six teepees originally, but by the time i took this picture two had mysteriously gone missing. hmmm. i have no idea what happened there.

one of the things that makes me super sad about not staying home with the kids is not getting to do fun projects like this together. but, i feel quite a bit better knowing that sweet eowyn is picking up the slack.

FIRST PLACE smu mustangs!

landon and i went to the smu vs. utep game this afternoon with scott and kelly. it was an exciting back-and-forth contest, and we wore our voices out yelling. smu came away victorious, 35-31, and the ponies are now in FIRST PLACE in the west division of c-usa! we've already beaten the team in first place in the east division, east carolina. there's a chance we could go to the conference championship game!!

pony up! go mustangs!

click to enlarge.

(see how i'm emailing, etsying, christmas card shopping AND blogging all at once? talent, i tell you.)

landon loves smu.

hey, it was windy.

smu hasn't won six games in a REAL long time. peeps were pumped.

the Loving Well.

i need to post something about the retreat, but i really think i'm still trying to process a lot of it. because fathoming some of the awesome things God is trying to do in my heart and life is just hard! as in, is that possible?? really? putting the greatness into words is not easy.

if you're on facebook and have read the notes posted by eowyn and mari, you have read two of the incredible testimonies that have come out of "live, laugh, love." and that's just two. there were 36 women there.

mostly, God continued a work He began in my heart two years ago.

it's too long and complicated and, frankly, too boring to detail out here. but believe me, it's regarding something i've been struggling with from the time i was about 12: going to unhealthy lengths to please people.

basically, we - God and i - took another step on a very long journey. a big step. foward.

it's amazing how God walks us gently and gradually through things we struggle with, isn't it? He leads us, a little at a time, toward the complete work we will finally be when we stand before Him one day. it's so refreshing how He teaches us patiently, waiting for just the right moment to reveal a new truth, click on another lightbulb.

then, to ice the proverbial cake, He tells us of a great plan He has for the future. clear as a bell, He speaks something so exciting that we feel strangely empowered to do with His help.

He truly, truly loves me. enough to fill and overflow any void that i feebly attempt to mend on my own. all i have to do is simply surrender to let Him. His well is deep and wide; deep and wide and flowing and more than enough.

i'm going to write a book, ya'll.

oh, how He loves us, indeed.

it's almost...

...the ladies retreat! it's almost the ladies retreat! it's almost the ladies retreat!

:)

:)

:)

:)

:)

rock the pumpkin.

ellie was a pumpkin princess (get it? green shirt - stem, orange skirt - pumpkin, tiara), gray was a puppy (see? there are socks safety pinned to his sweatsuit hood). i was troy aikman complete with black grease under my eyes (aka smudged black eyeliner). oh, and addie is just too stinkin cute. also, my cake for the cake walk. fun times. happy halloween!

a halloween skeleton.

i think someone added extra minutes to today because in those extra minutes, i have managed to find the time to become extremely weepy this afternoon.

i don't know if maybe it's the halloween weekend, which itself isn't that meaningful to me, but when it passes it will officially be the holiday season. thanksgiving...christmas...coming. and i'm in pain over it.

i'm sad that i don't have time to do things i love to do. i feel like i just exist right now. so many realms of my life that are typically so important have just evaporated.

poof. gone. no mas.

i feel skeletal without them.

can you see through me?

because the spot that's usually filled with conversations with friends is empty. my etsy-perusing, idea-compiling spot? not there. the she-does-do-at-least-minimal-housework spot is definitely mia. the ocassional-cooked-at-home-meals spot? lost. the taking-photos-of-babies-to-post-on-the-blog spot needs serious cpr.

i feel like moments with the babies seem bittersweet because they are so rare, because i know so many moments are going on void of my audience. i inhale them with desperation when they happen, all while fighting the urge to be annoyed because the babies seem only to fuss unless they are both in my arms from the moment i walk in to the moment they go to bed.

why am i annoyed by that? what is wrong with me?!

***

always, always, i dream of sweet-smelling, calm holidays. ones filled with fun, creative family activities and yummy-yet-simple meals cooked at home that fill bellies to happy. i dream of making extra chicken chili and finding the time to drop it off at a busy friend's house. i dream of glittery, toddler-decorated winter garlands for the mantle and homemade applesauce and pecan pies.

how will i do that? when? i can't even gather the inclination to find the glitter, let alone orchestrate the seemingly momumental task of getting ellie to sprinkle it on paper snowflakes.

***

forgive my lament. it's just that i feel see-through.

and it's cold being a skeleton. i need to get warm.

do you have any idea how happy you can make 6th graders by dressing up as a rock star on costume day at school?

very. you can't see it here, but the guitar hero guitar (thanks, landon...) is the icing on the cake.