nice.

i need this.

lolli makes a steal.

i've been texting with my sister this afternoon about her dealings at once upon a child. she's taking some of kyla's old clothes there to sell, and she found these awesome booties for grayson:


the brand is me-in-mind, which is totally boutique. they are current season and sell for $26. laura got them from once upon a child, brand-new with tags, for $3.50! love it! sometimes once upon a child doesn't know all their boutique brands and you can come away with a great steal. i got some tea collection pants for grayson there before he was born for $5.50.

great job, lolli!

doesn't a great deal just make your day?!

a sign of the times.

i just got an envelope with three halloween cards from my gramma. one for landon and me, one for ellie and one for grayson. inside grayson's are six coupons for baby food, baby cereal and baby juice...and i am super pumped!

a sign of the times, indeed.

"sheshu."

it seems everyone is sneezing around my house lately. allergies are killing us. bless and you are the most common spoken words, it seems.

ellie had been saying "sabu" for bless you, but has recently changed it to "sheshu."

she even says it to herself. she's watching sprout, out of my sight, but i just heard her sneeze and immediately say "sheshu."

such a polite girl we're raising.

a time to laugh.

grayson laughed for the first time tonight. delana was tickling his chin, and he just came right out with it. so sweet.

you know what's pretty?

cool, made-at-home chocolate pudding in stark white ramekins with colored sprinkles on top.

pretty indeed.

oh, and yum.

because you hate vague.

i wasn't going to post what my "long and winding road" is because i'm scared. scared to put it out there for all to see only to have it lead to a dead end. but i also don't want to be the girl who is unnecessarily vague about everything*, and the only reason i was doing it really was because i'm a wimp who is afraid of failure.

so...i've decided to let you in on the super exciting (ha) news.

i'm going to try to become a teacher.

a middle school writing teacher to be exact.

i've been going back and forth about doing it, and i've officially started the process today. applications have been filled out, transcripts and scores requested, release forms signed.

i know you teachers reading are flexing your typing fingers with insight about what teaching is "really like." but i assure you, i've contemplated the time requirements, the stress factor and the down-right difficulty of teaching. there are enough teachers in my life for me to realize that this is not an "oh-my-gaw-the-totally-perfect-job-for-a-mom-'cause-you-get-summers-off!!!" kind of job. i mean, that's nice. but that isn't gonna be what sustains me. i've seen first-hand how hard these men and women work. they have to have summers off in order to maintain any semblence of sanity. but i believe my passion for writing coupled with my life-long calling to kids in this age range gives me at least an OK point from which to launch. i will admit, i am terrified of the classroom management portion.

i plan to stick with kylah's advice: "be really, really mean."

it will be a long process with lots of paperwork and time involved. oh yeah, and lots of work. but it might be the answer. and as i've been saying, i'm desperate for the answer.

i'll keep you posted.

in the meantime, won't you pray for me? oh, and send along any teaching positions that you may hear of. i'm gonna need the best odds possible.

*note: i know there are lots of instances in blog world where vagueness is absolutely necessary. i'm not meaning any passive-aggressive shots at anyone who tends to post vaguely or has posted vaguely in the recent past, let's be clear.

the long and winding road.

i've been wrestling with the possibility of starting down a "long and winding road" lately. it's a journey i started once before that ended with closed doors. i quickly realized that those doors were closed because the doors of relocation would be opened. as in, our move to san angelo. even though i know why the doors were closed, i can't help but be slightly discouraged regarding this particular "road." even though the reasons for the end of that road were obvious and good, it still wasn't pleasant while i endured it in the unknown.

as a result, i've been hemming and hawing, moaning and groaning and generally putting off this journey that continues to present itself as the best possible option for our situation as it stands.

"what if this," "what if that," "it won't work because," "i can't if," "it will be too hard because," etc. etc.

you get the picture.

but, through the continued presentation of the possibility through a variety of outlets, an encouraging conversation this evening and a few, if rare, moments of clarity in which i think, "so this is what it means to take a leap of faith," i've decided to officially move my feet in the direction of the road.

there are many doors that God will have to swing open as i approach. (i'd really appreciate if He didn't allow early doors to open if He only plans to close later ones. one of my biggest concerns is that i'll do lots of "winding" only to be shut down after months and months of work.) but if He will open, i will walk through.

nervously, i'll walk.

you know, if i can manage to contain the big baby in me that wants to worry and fuss and generally stomp around saying, "i don't wanna."

as i've mentioned in previous posts, i find myself growing these last few months. and, as painful as it is, i'm realizing that when there's something i can't shake from my heart and soul, as much as my mind tries to reason it out as a terrible idea, it is often what God is calling me to step out and do.

so here's to first steps.
to baby steps.
to the possibility that there's an answer at the end of this long, and winding road.
i've been waiting so long for an answer.
and as much as i'm scared of the road, i can't bear the thought of missing the answer.

so road, here i come. as i walk, i ask God for the promise He made in isaiah 42:16:

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. these are the things I will do; I will not forsake them."

david.

as i told him today, i'm so glad he was born [edited to protect the innocent] years ago. in a world where so many people just barely tolerate their in-laws, i have been blessed beyond compare by mine.

david -- your advice is priceless to me. your prayers give me hope. your love lifts me up, giving me a solid place to stand when things seem shaky. i could not have imagined a more wonderful father-in-law. thank you so much for being mine. you go above and beyond the call of duty over and over and over. i will be forever grateful. happy birthday. i love you. -- sarah

improvement!

after running 2 miles for the last two months in my pursuit of the capital 10k, i ran 2.4 miles today! "running" is generous as the training program is more intervals of walking and running at this point. but i just started a new week (each week, the workout gets progressively harder), and there was a lot more running. in the same amount of time i've been spending for the last seven weeks, i ran almost half a mile further.

nice!

**update.**

the baby was crying. but cleaning must've been in the cards 'cause he nursed one side but stayed fast asleep. the living room is clean! dusted-ceiling-fan type clean. nice. pandora radio certainly makes cleaning more enjoyable. the michael buble channel can make even vacuuming romantic. ellie is up from her nap, but she can play in the nicely cleaned living room (...). i'm on to the kitchen.

61 degrees.

landon just came home for lunch. we had chicken seasoned with fresh garlic, scallions, cilantro and olive oil that i had on hand from another meal. i threw sliced carrots in with the chicken, and it was really good. we also had rice and crescent rolls. we're a tad short on the dough (not the crescent roll dough..) so lunches at home have been the norm lately. today's, however, was better than anything we could've picked up in a drive-through, in my opinion.

also when he was home, landon had to put on a sweater. it's so cool out! i just found myself laughing and smiling because of it. i mean, you're-a-little-nuts for laughing out loud with joy at the temperature. it's just that the pumpkins and fallish table runner and gray flower pot of polished black river rock stones on my table seem so much more festive when it's practically in the 50s outside. no matter that there's also lots of bills, an empty sprite can and empty diet coke can, allergy pills, a framed photo of my mom when she was 2 and plastic bookends from ikea also on the table. everything is better when it's cool. i might even be inclined to pick up the house this afternoon so cuddling in blankets tonight will be that much more enjoyable.

another motivation to clean, we got new carpet in the living room on monday! holy smokes, if you ever saw our old carpet, you know what a big deal this is. i didn't even take before and after pictures 'cause the old carpet was just atrocious. the new is wonderful and plush and a darker neutral with lots of variation that will hide goldfish crumbs quite well, i do believe.

i was having a real rough day yesterday and in the midst of my self-pity, i got a text from someone: "you've been on my heart a lot today. do you need me to pray for you?" ahh.. the timing of my Lord. so wonderfully perfect. just that simple encounter lifted my spirits. to know that He hasn't forgotten me.

the Bible study we're doing at delana's is so..stinkin..good. i feel myself going deeper in my relationship with Jesus than i ever have. it's sort of a growing pain situation as i realize that suffering abounds for a christian on this side of heaven. that seeking Him, no matter what He chooses to do, if anything, for my circumstances, is the purpose of my existence. i'm realizing that it is more than enough to just want Him. but it's also a process of stripping my flesh of the need for Him to fix it. now. please. in order to worship with a whole heart. it's pretty awesome. and pretty tiring at the same time.

OK. enough rambling for the moment. i'm going to clean, gosh dernit. i have the motivation and the time in this instant. so i'm going for it.

wait...is that the baby crying?

gray today.

because he's beautiful when he sleeps... because it was the first official smile captured on camera... because his eyes are so blue... because he's such a big boy... because we tried his hair combed down today, and it looked stinkin' adorable... because he is gray.

i remember: 3 whole years.

i remember the first day i met him. i remember the first time we talked on the phone. i remember the way his face looked in the campfire light on that fall retreat. i remember the way it felt when his hand touched my back on our first date. i remember the way it felt the first time we kissed. i remember. i remember asking what he saw when he looked in my eyes, and i remember when he said, "christmas mornings." i remember when he said i love you. i remember when he gave me the yellow ring. i remember knowing this was forever. i remember the proposal. i remember the planning. i remember the anticipation. i remember the day. i remember being so calm. i remember turning the corner to see him waiting for me at the altar. i remember his eyes. i remember his smile. i remember the "i do's" and the vows. i remember becoming his wife. i remember the celebration. i remember getting into his daddy's white pickup truck.

i remember knowing, in that instant, that my life would never be the same.

today, landon and i have been married for three years. we celebrated at home tonight. i figured we go out to eat a lot. eating in is even more special. nothing fancy. heartfelt cards and quality time. it was perfect.

landon, i'm out of words to describe how i feel about you. it's overwhelming. i love growing with you, learning with you, discovering with you. you are my hero. you have made me a better person. i'm more excited about the rest of our lives than you will ever know. i love you so much.

happy anniversary.

2 months (and 1 week).

i'm a bad mommy, and i didn't post on gray's 2-month birthday last tuesday. to my credit, i was fasting from blogs (shannon, you are hilarious. truly. no hard feelings at all.) so i wasn't going to post on that day. but my fast ended last thursday and...yeah. just now making it happen.

grayson was 2 months on oct. 7, and he is such a big boy. he was 13 pounds 15.5 ounces and 23.5 inches long at his checkup. we are officially in size 2 huggies. as a comparison, ellie was 10 pounds 6 ounces at her 2-month checkup. sheesh. he is smiling like crazy, but still elluding the camera on that one. his latest trick is to goo and coo. it's the sweetest sound i know. he loves to be cuddled and swaddled. he teased me last week and slept through the night for three nights in a row. but three was his max. he hasn't done it again. he has been going 4 or 5 hours between feedings sometimes. last night he was up every 3 hours, on the dot, however. sigh.

he is truly a joy, and my heart bursts to think he is my son. my heart also breaks to think of him getting bigger and having to venture out from mama's safe arms.

ellie loves her little brother and has really been nothing but sweetness to him. she smothers him with kisses, is amazingly concerned any time he's crying and is always saying in the most loving voice, "hi, dc!" (said with a little girl lisp, that's what her version of grayson sounds like.) i often sit in the living room with the two of them in the middle of the day and think, "how did i end up with such a great life?" grayson has exponentially increased the huge joy that is my family.

a pretty impressive feat, my little man. i love you more than all the stars in the sky.

chillin' on his birthday.

purple mouth and a bit of spit up. but look at those baby blues!

nothing sweeter.

ellie's latest.

translations:

• "daddy...is...awesome!" -- guess who taught her that?
  
• "twinkle, twinkle, little star"
• some gibberish in an asian language i wish i knew
• "silly ellie" -- lots of L's and ee's involved here
  
• "balloons" -- i'm a mean mommy for never buying them at heb
  
• "hot dog" -- our all-time favorite food, today.
  

i love, with all my heart..

..organic, dark-chocolate chocolate chips from the bulk bins at heb. nevermind they are $8.79 a pound. they are so yum.

the french vanilla almond granola sprinkled on yogurt is also pretty stinkin awesome.

i'm just sayin.

words.

cranky. tired. stayed up too late doing laundry. 3 a.m. house is a wreck. diapers are taking over. no money. noodles for dinner. should i still be eating noodles? a flat for landon in dallas. $145 for new tires. listing on ebay is annoying. ellie can spell. "e-l-l-i-e! ellie!" gray can...nurse. should do bible study. i'd feel better. new carpet soon. yay. new tile too. don't get to pick it. boo. celtic flutes are better than tv. too hot for fall. wanted to run today. no help with the kids. maybe tomorrow. need milk. don't wanna go to the store. should i still be eating noodles? just want a miracle. too much whining. me and the kids. gas is cheap. haven't driven today. fridge is really dirty. and empty. landon's just leaving dallas. ellie has mosquito bites. almost 50 years for dave. almost 26 for me. should i still be eating noodles? where's the miracle? heavy. worn out. is 7 o'clock to early for bed?

a shout out to grandmother!

my dad just informed me that my grandmother has just purchased her first computer! he forwarded these pictures that she sent him:

here she is at the blessed machine. looking lovely!

and here is her front door decoration. my grandmother is one of the most talented people i know. she paints the most beautiful cards that she sends us for special occasions. they are some of my most treasured possessions. she and my granddaddy live in north carolina, and it's been far too long since i've seen them. i truly wish we lived closer so maybe some of her wonderful creativity and hospitality could rub off on me!

i love you, grandmother!

...and we're back!

hiatus.

our henry home will be on a short hiatus for the next week or so. nothing wrong. everything right.

check back then to see what has happened!

d-a-t-e.

my love language is totally quality time so i love dates. sitting on the driveway after the kids are in bed, sipping diet cokes is a date to me. any time i get to spend with my honey is a date. and i cannot explain how wonderful it makes me feel.

this past weekend we were in dallas, and we went to a wedding sans babies. (thanks, susu!) a great date! it was so fun to wear non-mom clothes, hold hands with my honey and carry a purse - no diaper bags with my wallet shoved in. and we had several hours of only adult contact. no noses wipes. no diapers changed. no mouths to feed. so sweet was when landon looked over at me during the ceremony and whispered, "three years." we're coming up on our anniversary, a fact that's easy for forget when your head is filled with hollers for "nanas!" (bananas), "mama! mama! mama! mama!" (she's practicing her broken record impression) and sweet little boy cries for more milk all...the...ever-lovin'...time.

ahhh.

think that's good? listen to this!

landon has been dying to take me to an odessa high/permian football game since we started dating. this year, both teams are undefeated with records of 4-0. the game is this friday.

HE GOT TICKETS!

actually, his cousin adam did. we're going to dinner and then the game with adam and his wife, pam. landon's aunt toni is going to watch ellie and grayson for us.

football included in a date?!?! you gotta be kidding. so perfect.

the icing on the cake is how excited landon is. i am so happy when he's happy, no matter what the cause. and let me tell you, the boy is pumped.

yay for dates!