ellie's ready for fall. (also known as: mom plays dress up with her little girl even though it's still too hot for tights.)

patio rebirth and other monday thoughts.

i've neglected it for 2.5 months, as in, done NOTHING. but the weather is cooling, and i'm not largely, uncomfortably pregnant so the time has come to work on the patio(s) again. there are a few plants -- begonias, various cacti, lantana, geranium, cone flower etc. -- that have survived the choking heat without my help, and i plan to add a bit of fall color here in the next few weeks. we're starting a new beth moore bible study tomorrow night, and i'm pumped to study out on a pretty patio in a sweater (hey, i can dream, right?) with a cup of coffee.

speaking of beth moore, i'm super excited to start this new study. i love small group, and i love learning more about the Word.

i got up at 7:30 to run this morning. the weather was great. quite cool. i won't bore you with too many details, but i want to know who else is keeping up the good work. i'm determined to make it to the capital 10k. my progress has been (very) slow but steady this month. i'm hoping to pick up the pace in october. i've only been officially cleared to begin work outs for a week and a half, after all. stay updated here, if you're interested in that kind of thing.

i'm having to miss it this year (*sad*) because of a nursing baby, but i'm already getting excited for next year's breast cancer 3-day. i think it's because i walked last year's in HORRIBLE shape, and the idea of doing it in good shape is appealing. and even though i was in bad shape last year, it was a freakin' awesome.

i wish i was closer to laura to help with wedding planning, among other things.

i know we've all posted this at some point in the past couple of weeks, but....I'M SO EXCITED IT'S FALL! ah! like, so. cinnamon-y candles, warm cookies, wreaths, football, cool morning runs, long sleeves, taco soup. i wish there was a way to type "satisfied sigh."

i'm almost 26.

my black, $30 ikea coffee table is looking a little beat. i'm not contemplating buying anything new because i know the beating of childhood has just begun. but i'm thinking of trying to spruce it up a little. i wish i had the guts to paint it something really bright. maybe i'll try a pattern or something fancy like that.

kylah's house is gorgeous.

i am all of a sudden having a super intense urge to sew. i have no idea how to sew. but i want to learn. i want to make things for my house, things for my babies, things for other people's babies, maybe even clothes at some point. it's likely been inspired by my discovery of this site some months ago. *sigh.* i have a super simple hand-sewing project on deck. i have all the supplies, but need to borrow someone's fabric shears. i have a sewing machine on my christmas list. landon thinks i'm nuts. there's just something inside me that identifies with the green/eco-friendly/old-fashioned/simpler-time idea of making things by hand. i don't get all preachy about fair trade practices and ethical work conditions for the people who make and sell most of the cheap stuff i buy -- mostly because i can't afford to. it may just be good marketing, but i'm shamelessly on the bandwagon.

there are so many blogs i want to read every day, but a.) i forget half of them because there are so many and b.) i do need to feed my children at some point.

i got my hair cut today. yay!

i'm thinking of putting some of ellie's nicer baby clothes on ebay. we sure could use the money. it's just that i'm tragically sentimental.

i don't get this economy situation, but it's kinda scary. i'm glad God's wealth and power are not dependent on our economy. i like what it says at the end of habakkuk: "though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls--yet i will rejoice in the Lord, i will joy in the God of my salvation. the Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer's feet, and He will make me walk on my high hills." (3:17-19.) it's just a reminder that He has saved us. that alone is reason to stand up straight and rejoice, nevermind our earthly situation.

i've been praying and thinking a lot lately about priorities and how to go about feeling like i'm accomplishing something with my days. my meditation has led me to begin making a list of things i really want to do every day. for example, spend time with the Lord, run, shower, feed my children, bathe my children, feed my husband, straighten at least one room of the house, work for a few hours, complete two items on a forever-long to-do list, have at least a couple hours in the evening to be with landon and go to bed by 11. pretty basic, right? i'm feeling the need to simplify and streamline for my own sanity. i've basically given up the idea that i'll ever have an immaculate house. (i know, funny i was ever contemplating it.) i tend to get motivated, make long lists, am unable to complete the whole list in one day (who could? oh. i know. angela.) and then revert to chaos. i know it sounds sort of slacker-ish, but i want to locate my "good enough" in the day-to-day so that maximum effort can be focused on my relationships -- with the Lord and with my family and friends. i want to do those things that are most important and fill in the gaps with "other stuff." pushing out the "important stuff" with the "other stuff" is just no longer an option. this may seem elementary to some, but i'm truly recognizing it as a significant step on my journey to growing up in my salvation. maturity, some may call it. it's about dang time.

rock star ellie.

ellie totally adores this microphone my friend kayci gave her a couple months back at grayson's baby shower. she sings in it all the time. it really is quite cool. made by parents, it records and plays back your voice, plays preset songs, etc. etc. you probably know what i'm talking about if you're a mom of toddlers.

anyway, ellie's so into singing with a microphone now that anything that slightly resembles the shape is fair game.

in the past few days, she's used a stuffed mushroom, a maraca and one of those baby nose sucker things. every time i turn around she's singing into something!

so cute and so imaginative.

i love it!

ellie's first haircut.

getting ready. bear helped her bravery.

she wasn't really a fan of the smock. even though it's adorable.

she was more tolerant of the cheetah print.

"i don't know about this, guys..."

snip. snip.

such a big girl! she has a certificate and everything.

jodi and ellie.

celebratory ice cream.

gray's thrilled with the process, as you can see.

mommy and big girl ellie.

beauty in a baby.

gray's first bottle.

here's daddy feeding gray his first bottle. i was going the next day to cover a volleyball game so we were making sure he'd take the bottle of my milk. seems to have worked just fine.

e claire-isms.

girl after my own heart.

i-nose-you.

ellie is a little parrot lately, and i find myself telling her to say things all the time.

she sounds so cute when she says them!

i always tell her, "say, 'i love you, mommy!'"

she usually does her sign language for 'i love you,' as a four-word sentence is just a tad beyond her ability so far.

tonight, during dinner, i started telling her to say the words one at a time.

me: say, "i."

ellie: "eye!"

me: "love."

ellie: "nose!"

ha.

"i" is not "i." it's "eye." and nothing comes after "eye" except "nose."

back in the saddle.

this afternoon, i'm writing my first story since a few weeks before grayson was born. i emailed my editor at the sa s-t on wednesday night around 10 p.m., and by 10 a.m. thursday, i had an assignment.

this particular assignment required that i speak with someone from the tom green county historical commission. at the conclusion of our short interview, i doubled-checked this individual's title. she confirmed, and i said, "ok. thank you!"

before i could hang up, she said, frantically, "hold on! hold on! hold on! be sure that you use 'tom green county historical COMMISSION.' it's not 'society.' those are not interchangeable words. it'd be like calling someone who's in the lions club a member of the kiwanis. we're the state agency."

huh?

apparently, someone has made that mistake before. and i got his lecture.

as kelly said...

...wow.

let's keep praying for these folks, OK?

flashin' those pearly whites. er, gums.

grayson smiled at me for the first time yesterday!

you know moms officially count the first smile when they are smiled at for the first time. none of them count before the first one for mama.

gray did smile for julia and delana tonight at bible study.

that one counted.

;)

become.

i'm doing a bible study called "when wallflowers dance" by angela thomas. it's through my small group at delana's house (tuesdays at 7 p.m. -- you should come!), and i've really enjoyed it. the only other bible study i've ever done is "stepping up" by beth moore. beth was a pretty intense teacher to start with, though i'm glad i did. angela, by contrast, is quite a bit more laid back. there isn't as much historical context (which i really love) or challenge in this study, but she is encouraging, transparent and you can't help but love her.

i was doing my study this morning -- outside on the patio in the GLORIOUS weather we're having. this week has been my favorite so far. especially day 4. the week's topic is "until it's your turn," which seems very relevant to my life right now. day 4's lesson is called "become." it's a study about how, even if it's "not my turn," in whatever arena of my life, while i'm waiting, i have an amazing opportunity to grow and become the woman i'll need to be when it is my turn.

there is a question that asked me to describe the woman i have always wanted to be, and though these things have always been in my heart, i have never really written them out. to write them out was an encouragement. i can't explain why, but it was a tangible step to voice these desires and really see how i could be working toward them as i wait for it to be my turn.

here's what i wrote to describe the woman i've always wanted to be:

"a strong one, but gentle, kind and thoughtful. i want to encourage others with words given to me by the Holy Spirt -- to be keenly aware of His leading. i want to be a refuge -- a wise, praying refuge -- for my husband and my children. i want to be someone they run to for comfort and advice, knowing i'll always offer prayers to heaven on their behalf. i want to be used of God to draw people to the kingdom through writing, hospitality and whatever else He has in mind for me."

with Him, that i will become.

he's here!

not 5 minutes after i pushed "publish post," the gas dude was banging on my door.

when ellie goes down for her nap, i'll get a shower.

hallelujah!

*for the record, i have showered since last wednesday. just not at my house. i wanted to be sure we were all clear on that.

can i sue the gas company?

'cause they were supposed to turn my gas back on friday.

no one showed up.

no one showed up over the weekend either. no one called.

i called this morning, and the people in waco said the dispatch center in san angelo -- for some unknown reason -- never received the work order. the woman i talked to was very apologetic.

she resent the order, and promised someone would be out this morning. she said to call her directly at 11:45 if i hadn't heard anything. that way, i could catch her before she went to lunch.

i haven't heard anything. i called her.

i got her voicemail.

awesome.

I NEED A SHOWER!

no TV.

i've officially declared today a "no TV" day.

(until the cowboys pregame show comes on, of course.)

i have been a bit obsessed with tlc, bravo and discovery health these days.

also, ellie watches this baby channel we subscribe to from direct tv. it's awesome --- no commercials, very educational. ellie is just a sponge right now, and she's learning colors, shapes, counting (she can count to 5!), sign language and spanish, among other things.

but even educational television isn't good in excess, right?

and it's really nice to just hear her reading and singing to herself. we're listening to a seasame street CD on repeat. she left the room a minute ago and came back with her pink crocs on. on the correct feet. she put them on herself! holy smokes.

being a mom rocks. you get to call "no TV" days and have kids that bless your heart.

a variety.

why i haven't showered: i wish i could take a shower, but our gas has been shut off. yes, i paid my bill. i was smelling rotten eggs earlier in the week and getting headaches. no one else could smell it, but landon agreed to call someone to get it checked out. as it turns out, we had a gas leak. the gas was turned off wednesday, someone came out yesterday to fix it and someone is supposed to be here today to turn it back on. so far, that third guy hasn't showed up. i got a shower yesterday 'cause the water heater tank was full when the gas was turned off, but i remain stinky so far today. it sucks because showers make me feel like i can get on with the day. i feel like i'm still sleeping until i take one. bleh.

why my God rocks: yesterday, for grayson's first official roadtrip, we went to abilene. it was fall council for the ag, and landon recieved his license to preach. we both went up to the front when he recieved it and were prayed over by david (landon's dad, david, i mean) and rita dubose. rita is the district superintendent's wife, and i was honored to have her pray over me. God has been speaking some cool things to me in the past few weeks, and i heard something really special while we were being prayed over yesterday. that's another post though.

why my God rocks II: speaking of how cool God is, landon and i have been so monetarily blessed in the past week and a half that my head is spinning. every time i turn around, some large chunk of unexpected change has landed in our laps. no explanation. in one instance, the giver doesn't even know us. we have more than two times the amount we need to make the payment you've read me whining about on here. it's been two months since i've become responsible for that payment, but both months are paid. and God paid them. as i told jenny, i'm already telling myself to remember this feeling -- the feeling of being perfectly and completely provided for -- when i start to wring my hands over next months payment. 'cause you know that will happen. but my prayer is that my faith would be exponetially increased as i watch God work an amazing miracle in this situation. it's apparent that is His plan.

medical update: i wrote about going to see the lactation consultant and the possibility of gray's latch being a little off and causing me major soreness. well, it's been determined that, while that may be a small factor, the bulk of my pain for the past three weeks has been caused by thrush. i officially found white patches in his mouth and my symptoms perfectly match those of a terrible infection. we were able to get prescriptions on wednesday (without even going in! yay!), and things are already so much better. thank goodness. i actually get to enjoy nursing my little man now. i like it that way. also a bonus on the nursing front, we managed to stop by motherhood while in abilene yesterday, and i have 3 new bras! ones that fit, are not from walmart and are not left over from the last baby. yuck.

ellie is the smartest little girl ever: on the way back yesterday, delana and i started asking ellie to say words we know she knows. we must've thought of 50 words that she could say back to us. and i know there are more. she's starting to be able to sing "twinkle, twinkle, little star" and starts singing the tune of the "abc's." most of time the words -- or letters -- are unintelligable, but she's definitely singing the tune. i need to get a video of her saying, "daddy...is...AWESOME!" to post. it's so cute. landon taught her, and she says it with such enthusiasm. he's caught beaming every time.

and one final thought... COWBOYS PLAY MONDAY!!!

9/11

we have not forgotten.

follow me!

if you like our henry home, check out the new "followers" gadget on the right sidebar of the page.

choose to officially follow me and your profile picture will show up, you'll get updates about new posts on your blogger dashboard and, best of all, you'll be a member of the "o.o.h. homies."

what could be cooler?

officially a chunk.

i went to see the lactation consultant today to find out whether my soreness could be due to grayson's latch. everything i've read says if i'm sore past two weeks, something is not right.

turns out, he curls his top lip under and has issues losing suction throughout a feeding.

we have solutions. hopefully they'll work.

we did find out, however, that despite his latch that is killing his mommy, he is not having any trouble getting food.

my 1-month-old son weighed 11 pounds 11 ounces today! i checked back on the blog, and ellie weight 8 pounds 11 ounces at her 1-month appointment.

a chunk, indeed.

un mes.

today, my little boy is one month old. my, my how time flies. grayson rocked his paisley pearl-snap on his birthday, and stole my heart for the 30th straight day. he's staying awake more and focuses on faces quite well. he loves to sleep on daddy and pa's chest, and dislikes having his clothes changed. while he does not tolerate any delayed gratification when it comes to eating and almost always has an evening meltdown, he's a pretty easy baby. i love him so. someone once told me, "you'll never love another man the way you love your son." she was right. he is so special.

a new blog.

run strong.

kid-less(ish)

if you count gray as a baby and ellie as a kid, we're kid-less until tuesday.

she went to san antonio with "elmo" (delana) to visit with "jo" (kylah) and "kkkkkkk" (mike).

they left this afternoon after mug & muffin (which was lovely, by the way), and landon and i hardly know what to do with ourselves with just one little baby who is sleeping through what seems to be some sort of monumental growth spurt.

we went to lunch (gatti's), sam's, walmart AND family christian. all in a row!

amazing.

i miss that little blue-eyed sweetness so much already though. landon and i have been recalling all the cute little things she does and how smart she is ever since she left.

we long for a break, then she's gone and all we can do is talk about her.

if a little less exhausting, life's just not as good without ellie belle.

first steps.

before we go any further, let me just apologize to anyone who may have had the unfortunate experience of watching me struggle through my first run today. i know anyone who drove past must have been feeling incredibly bad for me. i know i looked pathetic.

but i did it. that was the goal for today.

do it.

i went 2* miles with walking/jogging intervals. i did a five minute walking warm up and then alternated 60 seconds of jogging with 90 seconds of walking. i did the walking/jogging pair seven times. of course, it became time to start the seventh jogging interval right at the bottom of the hill the comes up my street to my house. i was praying landon wasn't looking out the window.

aside from looking ridiculous, it felt really good to do something. i haven't worked out at all since the summer after my freshman year in college when i worked out really hard with a personal trainer and the smu volleyball team. on top of the sense of accomplishment making it to this 10k will bring, i know it will improve my quality of life by way of energy and positive outlook.

finally, i felt like i was having "me" time this afternoon. i got a whole half hour to work toward a pretty hefty goal. and then the greatness continued when i took a good long shower while landon was still watching the kids. if i can have an hour three times a week to be alone with my thoughts and my running shoes and enjoy a good shower, i think i'll be a pretty happy woman, no matter how fast - or should i say slow - i run the race at the end.

so here's to the capital 10k. the destination is daunting, but i'm focused on putting one foot in front of the other.

today, i took my first steps.

*changed from 1.5, which was reported in the original post. i re-clocked it, and, let's face it, i couldn't short-change myself!

rejoice! this is the day the Lord has made!

today is one of those days that finds my heart bursting with joy and thanksgiving. sweet family moments started the day, it's wonderfully beautiful outside, i feel energetic and the presence of potential productivity. my husband is awesome. my children are more blessing than i could have ever dreamed. i start my 10k training this afternoon. mug and muffin is saturday morning. the new nursery plan starts this sunday. the COWBOYS SEASON OPENER is sunday!

it is a wonderful life, folks.

a wonderful, wonderful life.

call me crazy. here goes nothing.

a couple weeks ago, i contemplated running the breast cancer 5k in san angelo on october 4. considering that was eight weeks away at the time of contemplation, and i'm not technically supposed to work out for six weeks after giving birth, the decision was made to forgo that idea. there is a one-mile fun-run/walk that i do believe i'll participate in because i can do that regardless of how much working out i actually get in before the date arrives.

i do hope to "fun-run" most of it. we'll see.

but today, thanks to this post, i have completely passed over the idea of a 5k and agreed to try a 10k.

i'm struggling with a feeling of helplessness right now, and i think a goal like this -- a tough, but, with work, attainable one -- will give me something i know i can reach. my own doubt is all i have to beat. it'll be hard. but, with determination, i can do it.

i think.

plus jenny's so dang persuasive! and the possibility of some semblance of a runner's body is not bad motivation.

capital 10k.
austin, texas.
3.29.09.
six months to six (point 2) miles.

call me crazy. here goes nothing.

weekend and news about gray for ye who need to know.

my mom and travis came to visit this weekend, and we had a great time. we cooked creamy basil chicken pasta saturday night and had chili's last night. we went to church and had a lovely time at the aloha potluck after service. today, mom, ellie, grayson and i went to the mall while landon and travis mowed our jungle of a backyard. mom bought the kids super cute halloween onesies at old navy, and i got ellie an adorable shirt for the fall from dillard's. they just left, and i'm sad. it's always fun to spend time with mom. she's also an amazing help with the kids. you know. grandmas. there's nothing else like 'em. on saturday night, mom even slept with me and woke up when gray woke up to keep me company because landon was in san antonio with the students. so nice. from about 5 a.m. to 7 a.m. sunday morning, g didn't really wanna sleep. so mom held him while i got uninterrupted rest. love it. mom also brought me a beautiful mirror for over our dresser -- beautiful and free, what's better?! and she brought some clothes from laura that kyla has grown out of. we picked out our favorites and are saving them for when ellie's big enough to wear them. an all-in-all great weekend.

and for those of you who haven't heard...grayson's echo and ekg came back perfect. not even a murmur! praise the King of Kings who created my son's heart perfectly. oh, how we cried when we found out. i'm sorry for the delay for some of you. thank you, everyone, so much for your prayers.

frozen, awaiting a miracle.

i have something really big i have to pay. i can't afford to pay it. even if i got a full-time job, anything i'm qualified to do would not pay me enough to pay this obligation, pay daycare for two kids and pay medical insurance for my family.

nevermind the fact that i don't wanna work full-time AT ALL, it wouldn't even solve the problem.

i have wracked my brain for ideas. i can't come up with any.

i feel frozen.

a miracle is my only hope.

but i'm at an impasse regarding a miracle as well.

should i do everything in my power to make this payment, knowing it will be short, but believe God will multiply my efforts and make up the difference? this option likely means a substantial lifestyle change, of which i am so not in favor.

or should i resign myself to the fact that i can't pay it and pray that God will bring all the money i need in His timing? this option makes me feel like i'm asking for something without giving anything. and, in the meantime, letters and phone calls abound demanding payment.

i...do...not...know.

and it's ticking me off.

i hate feeling frozen.