i have something really big i have to pay. i can't afford to pay it. even if i got a full-time job, anything i'm qualified to do would not pay me enough to pay this obligation, pay daycare for two kids and pay medical insurance for my family.
nevermind the fact that i don't wanna work full-time AT ALL, it wouldn't even solve the problem.
i have wracked my brain for ideas. i can't come up with any.
i feel frozen.
a miracle is my only hope.
but i'm at an impasse regarding a miracle as well.
should i do everything in my power to make this payment, knowing it will be short, but believe God will multiply my efforts and make up the difference? this option likely means a substantial lifestyle change, of which i am so not in favor.
or should i resign myself to the fact that i can't pay it and pray that God will bring all the money i need in His timing? this option makes me feel like i'm asking for something without giving anything. and, in the meantime, letters and phone calls abound demanding payment.
and it's ticking me off.
i hate feeling frozen.