thanks. i think...

just went to pick something up off the printer, and a coworker said, "you look good today!"

as if it was a rarity.

could it be because i'm wearing mascara?

it's gotta be the mascara.

i had to post this: from an email conversation regarding kylah's bridal showers with the other matron of honor.

i had just written her an email saying i wanted to take the lead on this shower because she did SO MUCH for the bridal shower a few weeks ago. i really feel like she did the whole thing. so i wrote that i wanted her to relax and let me worry about this.

"Dear Sweet Sarah,

I am going to say this in the sweetest way that I can.

When we have this shower you will have a three week old. You will have slept four hours during her three weeks of life and will have breasts that leak like a punctured carton of milk, changing diapers around the clock(even possibly as you sleep standing up), and hauling around with you everywhere you go a baby who sporadically bursts into screaming fits that can only be stopped by you whipping out your swollen breast in a public restroom(you hope). She will be in a supposedly “lightweight” baby carrier wrapped in a blanket, with a blanket covering her and a toy to stimulate her genius mind. You will also have a diaper bag containing 10 diapers, a changing pad, hand sanitizer, a nursing blanket, breast pads, a thermometer, infant Tylenol, gas drops, and extra clothes for both the baby and you(refer to the leaking breast statement) at the very least. To leave the house, you will have to coordinate car travel time with nap times, nursing times with available restrooms or dressing rooms because if either of the above happens at the wrong time, you will begin to understand in a small way how a mother would be tempted to breastfeed while driving the car or to scream at a person who bumps into the shopping cart holding her sleeping child. You will of course not know how to schedule these trips because, unless God has graced you with the perfect baby, the only schedule Ellie will understand is eat, poop, sleep in no definite time frame. So a trip to the grocery store 6 weeks from today will seem like an event worthy of a Nobel Peace Prize there were no casualties as you take your daughter on this pleasant afternoon jaunt."

HA!

she went on to say she loved all my ideas, and that she wanted me to be as invovled as i could possibly be, but she knows what it's like. i guess i'll have to take her word for it. i'm dreaming of my baby being a perfect angel. hmm.. guess i better get a reality check. i just want to know something. anything. please. hurry!

refreshing.

you know how most of the time when you dial the wrong number, the person hangs up like you've just violated them in the most heinous of ways?

a second ago, i was trying to call someone named luther from RISD. i dialed his number from a piece of paper with four different numbers on it, and i must've just created a random combination of the four because i did not get luther.

i did, however, get a very nice man named michael.

"luther?"

"luther? no. this is michael."

"oh. i'm sorry. i must've dialed the wrong number. is this XXX.XXX.XXXX?"

"no. this is XXX.XXX.XXXX."

"oh. i apologize for that."

"(laughs) well, that's OK. you haven't done no wrong. if there weren't never no mistakes, we wouldn't need no erasers."

"(amazed) yeah, you're right about that. thank you so much. have a good day."

"you too, miss."

ready.

this headline is a little late. i've been ready for at least a week, if not more.

ellie is pressing down and taking up any and all room in my body. pretty soon she's going to start squeezing into my arms and legs, i swear.

i went to the doctor today, and she measured my belly. it was 36 cm. she said, "your uterus is all the way up under your ribs" at the same time as she told me "the baby is very low."

no kidding.

she double-checked to be sure the baby's head is down. it is. it was two weeks ago.

my cervix is not dialated, but she said it's "shortened." apparently, that is progress as well. mom and delana both told me they were never dialated until they went into labor. so, i'm trying not to be disappointed that i'm still closed up there.

i can't concentrate on anything else. i can't walk. working is hard. i can't think of any upcoming event without thinking "ellie will be here by then" or "i hope ellie is here by then" or "will ellie be here by then?"

and there are other questions that cannot be answered until she gets here. will we make it without my paycheck on maternity leave? how long does it take for someone to lose 28 pounds plus the 20 she wished she didn't have before she got pregnant? will ellie be able to sleep OK with the man across the complex revving his motorcycle engine all the time? will she ride well in the car so i can drive the 4.5 hours to san angelo for kylah's wedding week when she's only three weeks old? how long will it hurt "down there" afterward? will doc be OK with the baby? will we be able to pay off our debt with a baby? will we be able to make it with two, old, two-door cars? will these stretch marks move lower and out of plain sight once the baby is out?

it's consuming me. understandable, i suppose, but if we have three more weeks to go, i'm going to go crazy at this pace.

well, i got a comment on my "slumber party" post from this girl, angie, who is some relation or friend or friend of a relation to natalie, or something. she also has a blog. a great blog, i think. she's got three daughters who are all extremely beautiful. and she has a passion for her girls that i've admired since before i got pregnant. i'm getting close to understanding where she's coming from.

she was really responding to my complaints of pelvic pain in the post from last night, but this is the part of the comment that hit me the hardest:

"...good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. i know it's hard, especially in pain, but try to cherish every moment."

the "try to cherish every moment" part especially.

when i sit back and think about it, i've gone from being obsessively in love with the fact that i was pregnant and hardly even thinking about the time when the baby would actually be born to, at times, begging for it to be over. (ask landon. one of the things he hears most right now is, "take it out.")

there's no question i'm ready to meet my precious daughter and begin life with her outside my womb, but tonight, my prayer has changed from "take it out" to "grant me patience; help me enjoy this."

once ellie comes out, she'll never be inside me again. i'll never feel her baby hiccups and smile because we're the only ones who know. i'll never get to sit on the couch, tell her daddy to watch and see his eyes light up as his child's body makes his wife's belly move from the inside. i'll never get to marvel at God's miracle of my first child as she's growing inside me.

i have decades to enjoy ellie as my child outside my body.

at least for tonight, i'm going to enjoy her as she grows her lungs just a little more, strengthens her muscles just a little more and becomes the angel i'm going to meet very soon.

tonight i'm going to enjoy her inside my body.

so soon it will be over.

take your time, ellie. i'm doing my best to patiently wait. i love you, and you're worth every ache and pain i'm enduring to carry you.

what an honor to carry a magnificent child of God. my baby. my daughter.

my ellie.

sleepover.

man, if i'm this bad at keeping up with the blog and the baby isn't even here yet, i don't know how behind things are gonna get after she's born.

i digress.

i've been sleeping on the couch for the last four or five days because our mattress is so soft that i wake up (several times a night) feeling like someone has been beating me. it's really terrible. just because i have all these weird pressure points, i suppose. anyway, we have this really hard, modern, square sofa that is basically just what i need at this point. i still wake up several times a night, but i'm not in nearly as much pain.

well, up until now. in the past two days i've developed an inability to walk. it's as if the baby is pressing down in my pelvis on some nerve that is making it impossible to walk without being in real pain. it's not as bad once i get going, but getting up and sitting down (like i do around my apartment and at work) is really bad.

the original point of this blog really was not to complain. i promise.

this is all background to say that i've been sad to sleep alone in the living room when doc and landon are in the bedroom. (still complaining. we're getting there. i promise.)

well, last night landon suggested he blow up the air mattress and sleep on the living room floor in here with me. what a sweetheart! then he tried to blow it up tonight, and it was not working. but he did not give up. he dragged the mattress from the bed in here, and is currently dozing off to the goofiness of conan o'brien. doc is in here with us.

it's a slumber party with my boys.

my sweet, sweet boys.

landon also im'd me (from across the kitchen table) this evening and, after saying he loved me so much, asked how he could be a better husband to me.

umm... considering the cooking, cleaning, errand running, taking care of the dog and offering things like sleeping on the living room floor so i don't have to be alone -- i can't think of a dang thing!

i feel like i say this every time i write about landon, but really, how did i get so freakin' lucky?

i'll never know.

he's also convinced me that the baby is going to come early. what a wonderful thought, even if it's not true.

i married an angel.

i'm writing a story about paying for college...

...and my research just lead me to write this statement:

"...a child born today will pay between $27,384 and $66,765 a year for college in Texas."

alms for the poor anyone? i have NO idea how we're going to pay that. even on the lowest end, which is a public technical school tuition! think ITT. and that's for one kid! i've contemplated up to five! oh, i better become a famous author pretty soon. like, tomorrow. would ya'll pay to read this blog?

happy on a snow day.

this is what a 36-weeks-pregnant sarah looks like on a snow day when her boss told her she can work from home: happy and unshowered.

thirty-six weeks today. no more than five weeks, and that's if she's a week overdue. everyone join me in prayer that that does not happen. please. i really would love for her to be born on her due date and be our little valentine. but i've decided she can be our little valentine no matter when she's born in february. so...february 1st, when i'm 38 weeks and 1 day, sounds good. or february 7th so she'd be our valentine and her daddy's best birthday present (and i'm 39 weeks) also sounds good.

she's kicking now. hope that's to reassure me that she's coming sooner rather than later. not to say, "ha! you just wait, mom... i'm stayin as long as possible."

please, please, please...

mama's splurge.

i know this makes no sense after i got all the new things at the baby shower this weekend. but you have to understand something... i have probably bought ellie - my daughter - four things in nine months. and those things i have bought have been super 75 percent off at target and old navy. for example, i bought her some soft gray pants at target the other day for $.98. i haven't bought her anything super cute or more than $7 most likely. so... today i was at the mall, and i happened by a sale at janey and jack. like, a really good sale. so, ellie got some clothes from mama. tell me what you think.

18-24 months.
6-12 months.
6-12 months.
0-3 months.
0-3 months.
premie. her going home outfit. the girl at the store told me most people buy a premie outfit for going home so the baby isn't swimming in it. she said this would fit a baby up to nine pounds, most likely. look at the heart on the hat...

quotes of the day.

"i can't wait until you're not pregnant, and you can be happy again."

-landon as i'm audibly moaning and groaning trying to get comfortable in bed last night. it never happened.

"your pregnancy clothes looked super cute in your photos from the weekend."

-molly after reading yesterday's blog. love compliments when i'm feeling more and more like a cow that can't walk. feel free to join molly if you are so inclined.

showering the future mrs. kotze with gifts.

as for the second shower of the weekend, it was great too. i think kylah was happy with it. she got lots and lots of things, including three sets of her vera wang silverware and a set of her fabulous ralph lauren paisley china. the success of the shower should surely be credited to jenny, kylah's other matron of honor. she's the gorgeous blond one you see in one of the photos here with kylah. she is so talented and such a good friend to kylah -- she did a great job. the food was great. the cake was great. and besides the fact that i put "i feel lucky" on the background music CD - total mind loss there for a minute -- everything seemed to go smoothly. we also had lots of help from the ladies of san angelo first assembly on the super yummy food. delana looked gorgeous (unfortunately, i don't have any good photos) as well. she's such a pretty mother of the bride. most of all, kylah was beautiful. she was glowing, and i'll tell you a cute story. she was opening one of her sets of silverware when michael (her fiance) walked in, summoned to help load the presents and take them home. she was trying to put it back together and the box has a slide-in wrap around it. she was just clumsily smashing it down on top of the box (as if it was a lid) because she got flustered that her handsome husband-to-be just came in and flashed her an "i love you more than life" smile. it was so sweet. they're so in love. i can't wait for their wedding. it's going to be so perfect. again, i don't know how i got so lucky to have ended up with such an amazing family.

the lovely bride and her lovely cake. the dress is a copy of the one that was on the invitations.the only woman i know who can make eating look glamorous.beautiful centerpieces courtesy of the talented jenny.the girls (from left): michelle, christal (singing at the wedding), crystal (bm), fat me (moh), kylah, jenny (moh), kari (bm) and amy (bm).kylah and jenny.kylah and me.**you know you can click on these photos to make them larger in another window, right? yeah. you can.

san angelo baby shower.

i was told this shower was going to be just a small get-together with family and close friends who would already be in town for kylah's bridal shower the next day. well, then someone (ahem, kylah/delana) sent out 40 (!!) invitations. and there were quite a few people there. i'm really bad at estimating numbers, but based on the outcome of the shower (as you see here), there were lots. or maybe the ones who were there were just really generous. or both. anyway, it was lovely. mom and i were late because of weather and traffic, but everyone waited patiently for us to arrive. the cake was gorgeous - i need to get a picture from kylah or toni to put up here - and delicious for sure. it was chocolate with white icing and beautiful pink and purple butterflies on it. so sweet. there were chicken salad sandwiches and fruit and pineapple punch and greatness. it was at kylah's beautiful house, which is so relaxing and fun to be at. i loved it. literally everything i got was beautiful. i got three HANDMADE blankets from three different ladies at david and delana's church. delana gave me so many things, including one of those two-sided frames with landon at two-weeks in one side in a sailor suit. then she gave me a sailor dress for ellie so we could take her picture and put it in the other side. SO cute. she also gave me this fantastically beautiful dress from a kid's boutique in san angelo called rattle dazzle. it's definitely a dedication dress and maybe even what ellie will wear to kylah's wedding. you can see it in the photos below. you can't miss it. other highlights included 25 more adoreable outfits from aunt jo (kylah), a handmade headband with a bow and a pearl bracelet (barely bigger than an adult's ring), these little tiny socks that are all different colors and look like mary jane shoes and a denim jumpsuit from fredricksburg that has yellow bumble bees painted on it. so precious. anyway, it was amazing. i can't believe how generous everyone was. i came home and showed landon everything we got. he just sat there in amazement. finally he said, "we are so blessed. seriously, praise God."

i surely echo his sentiments. i don't know how we got so lucky.

at a dairy queen in coleman.

this weekend, my mom and i were in san angelo for a baby shower friday night and my sister-in-law's bridal shower on saturday afternoon. both were absolutely wonderful, and i'll fill you in on the details soon.

it took forever to get back yesterday because of the weather, though we never had problems with ice. it was raining most of the way, and, rightly so, most everyone was being super cautious - including us. we finally made it in though, and i really feel like my weekend should be starting now, but i have to go to work in a couple minutes.

anyway... we were in coleman, texas stopping for a potty break and buying a blizzard (yeah, i don't know. ice cream when it's 29 out...) at one point during the trip. everybody knew everybody in there except for us, and i have a quote to sum up the whole experience:

(imagine in the thickest west texas accent)

"i've been lookin' for you! i want to show you my new baby; he'll be seven months in the mornin'. we've been married nearly two weeks! named him ashton douglas - looks just like michael did."

the girl looked like she couldn't have been more than 17.

it was amusing, to say the least.

ahh.. little towns in the middle of no where. love it.

stretch marks: the naked truth. (don't worry. no pictures.)

when i first got pregnant, i was obsessed with belly pictures. i still like them, but in the beginning i would surf the internet looking at pregnant ladies' bellies - unable to imagine the day when i would be that big. more often than not, the pictures of ladies at the end of their pregnancies would be complete with stretch marks. some a little. some a lot. "ugh," i would think. "that is so ugly. i really hope i don't get those."

well, i might've jinxed myself. because i did get them. i tend toward the "some a little" end of the scale, but we aren't done yet. i definitely have my fair share, and they aren't disappearing. they're multiplying, especially since i think the baby has dropped some in the past week, causing my poor lower belly even more stress. i took some 35-week belly pictures today, and honestly, you don't want to see them. i may have to resign myself to taking photos with my skin covered (something my husband has been requesting for awhile) if any more of my first-pregnancy belly photos are going to go public. it's just not pretty. at least not to you...

which leads me to my main reason for writing about this: i'm torn on my feelings for my stretch marks. oh, i certainly stand in front of the mirror nightly (and morningly, when i'm not late) and just touch them, thinking, "do i really have these bright red marks in my once-unblemished skin? i will never wear a bikini again. never. how sad..." but other times, like for a little while tonight, i stand in front of the mirror, and think, "what an incredible body i have. it stretches and pulls and sacrifices itself for the sake of the miracle that is growing inside of me. it is strong and capable of much. these stretch marks are a minimal price to pay for the blessing that i'll be receiving in no more than six weeks. when i feel her move inside me, realizing that God has used my body as the vessel in which he has grown her from a tiny embryo into a person who will live and breathe and function in society, i think, "stretch marks? bring 'em on!"

they are battle scars. worthwhile injuries for the greater good of mankind. when this is all over, they will be monuments to the child whom i plan to raise to be kind, caring, compassionate and God-fearing - a child whom i know the Lord will use for his glory.

and when i put it that way, i wouldn't give them back even if i could. a bikini could never compare. not ever.

the new sonic smoothies are good!

they are. i have a strawberry one right now. landon had a craving for a taquito (from whataburger), but it's only 9:30 so he settled for a sonic burrito. i was going to get an m&m sonic blast, but was compelled by the photos advertising the new smoothies. also, it made sense because a fruit smoothie that is "an excellent source of calcium" and "more than 100 percent daily value of vitamin a and c" is a lot better for my baby girl than an m&m sonic blast. aren't i so responsible? mmm hmm. soo responsible. so i guess i won't tell you i decided to order cheddar peppers too. hey! a smoothie and cheddar peppers is better a sonic blast and cheddar peppers, right? yeah. so there.

oh, whatever. i just wanted to tell you the smoothies are good, and this ended up being an argument. just try one, OK? geez.

quote of the day.

...from my super cool boston terrier desk calendar:

"don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."

-ann landers

love it.

i have this ring. it's shaped like a butterfly. it has my birthstone, landon's, my mom's and a garnet. for january.

i always thought it would be cool to have a baby in january so all the stones in the ring would have significance.

this morning, i thought it was gonna happen.

i woke up at 6:30 a.m. with a contraction. not that ususual. i've been having braxton hicks contractions, especially at night, for the past couple of weeks. i usually have one or two and then go on with my business.

but this time it felt different. i laid there for a while, watched the clock and kept having contractions about every seven minutes. i sat up, and i kept having them. i walked around, and i kept having them. i took a shower, and i kept having them.

if you know anything about braxton hicks contractions (false labor), they are supposed to go away if you change positions, drink some water or a number of other remedies.

but these persisted. i had them every seven minutes for about an hour and a half, and then had a few that got harder and were five minutes apart. it was around eight by this time, and landon agreed i should call the doctor. we've been told that any rhythmic contractions before 38 weeks warrant an immediate call to the doctor, and we'd already waited longer than they told us we should.

the doctor on call in my office (not my normal OB) called me back quickly, and told me to go to the hospital to get hooked to the monitors.

we got there around 8:30, and i gave a urine sample and got strapped to the fetal monitor for ellie and the other one to track contractions. landon went to register us (they asked me if he beat me while he was gone. weird.), and the nurse checked my cervix and did another test (fetal fibronectin) for a protein that predicts whether you'll likely give birth in the next two weeks. apparently, if the test is negative (the absence of the protein), there's a 99 percent chance you will not give birth in the next two weeks. my cervix was closed - no dialation at all - but my contractions continued. then the nurse left for what seemed like forever.

landon fell asleep, and i laid there, contracting every six or seven minutes, and feeling bad that landon was missing the kick-off service that he's been working SO hard to prepare for. if you watch the video i posted a second ago, you'll see a quick flash of a guy with curly hair preaching to junior high kids. yeah, that's johnny. it should've been landon. i really feel terrible. the numbers were great, and it was the peak of lots and lots of work, and he missed it. it's just not fair.

eventually the nurse came back, and told me that my urine had lots of troubles. she said i have a bladder infection (though t have no physical symptoms), and that those can bring on contractions and pre-term labor. so they gave me a shot of terbutaline (brethine is the name brand), and my contractions ceased immediately. it's a muscle relaxent, so i felt pretty good after that even though the shot itself hurt like heck. that test for the hormones that predicts whether you'll give birth in two weeks came back negative as well. i have an antibiotic for the bladder infection and an oral form of the labor-stopping shot in case i have six or more contractions in an hour again any time soon.

i came home after a quick lunch at chili's after leaving the hospital and crashed out hard for four hours. landon said he hasn't seen me ever sleep like that. i was literally comatose for quite awhile there.

i have to make an appointment with my doctor asap in the morning, and she'll tell me what to do from here. they're growing the culture on the urine sample overnight (yummy, huh?), and so my doctor may have more information when i see her either tomorrow or tuesday.

in the meantime, i've been told to "take it easy," which is a step above bed rest. i'm not supposed to go to work, go shopping or do much more than sit on the couch and walk to the bathroom.

the good thing of it all was that ellie was perfectly fine the whole time. except when i was contracting, she continued to move through the whole thing. her heart beat along beautifully the whole time she was on the monitor, and she showed no sign of distress at all. the nurse told me she's between four and five pounds right now. what a good girl.

when i left this morning, i really thought there was a possibility that i'd be having a baby. i was worried because i have no laundry done, no bag packed. i don't even have a carseat.

oh yes. the washing machine is whirring now, and my suitcase is open on the bed, ready to be filled.

believe you me. we're gonna be ready when it's really time. i promise.

for now, we're gonna cook her for a little bit longer.

big news at [i]mpact.

our youth group has been all over the news this weekend with the opening of the new tyler travillion memorial youth auditorum, or the impact center for short.

we've been calling it the youth building, and this weekend was the official grand opening. the building is beautiful. services and a concert by jonezetta were awesome on saturday night, and from what we've heard, things were fantastic this morning as well. (news on why we missed that in a blog to be posted shortly...)

i wrote a story for west plano and bent tree people newspaper that ran this friday, and can be read here, and the story lead the 5:30 news today on cbs -- so cool. click this link to watch that video. it's the lead video on the page.

it's been really great, and landon has worked so hard to get the thing ready for the kids. i know a lot of people have worked really hard.

it was all worth it this weekend because we had more than 1,000 kids come to services. we average about 600. in landon's junior high service (that he missed, my fault) alone there were six kids who got saved, and 12 that rededicated their lives to jesus.

how cool is that?

so cool.

i'm so proud of landon and to be a part of such a cool ministry.

baby hiccups!

i was sitting on the couch this afternoon feeling tired and sorry for myself. landon has been working non-stop because the new impact center is opening tonight. very exciting, but i sorta (well, more than sorta) want my husband back. this morning he said he promised to make it up to me this week. that sounds exciting. i'm looking forward to it.

anyway... i'm sitting on the couch, and this little kicking feeling starts below my belly button on the left side. landon was looking at his accelerate lesson, and i said, 'she's kicking me low right now. usually she kicks much higher.' but it didn't feel the same because it was much lighter, and, like i said, in a weird location for her. well it just kept up. real rhythmic. landon walked to the bathroom, and i said, 'she's doing something over and over. it's weird.' he comes back, and i tell him to feel. he puts his hand on my belly and feels the movement three times, and i said, 'see?' he said, 'hiccups' like it was so obvious. i said, 'oh! hiccups! i've never felt those before! of course that's what it is.' and we kissed, and i cried. landon didn't know why i was crying, but i was. i cry about everything. it's just the way it is.

then i googled 'fetal hiccups,' and the first hit i read said that healthy babies hiccup. sick babies usually don't. i cried again.

it also said a lot of times, once you can feel their hiccups, they'll hiccup at the same time every day.

you can bet i'll be checking at 3:30 tomorrow!

oh, i can't wait 'till she's here.

have i said that before?

yeah. well, it's true.

my baby can sing, and if he were going to sing a song about me, i'd want him to sing this one.

the part about "my unborn children's mother" gets me the most.
wonder why.
***
she's a yellow pair of running shoes
a holey pair of jeans
she looks great in cheap sunglasses
she looks great in anything
she's i want a piece of chocolate
take me to a movie
she's i can't find a thing to wear
now and then she's moody

she's a saturn with a sunroof
with her brown hair a-blowing
she's a soft place to land
and a good feeling knowing
she's a warm conversation
that i wouldn't miss for nothing
she's a fighter when she's mad
and she's a lover when she's loving

and she's everything i ever wanted
and everything i need
i talk about her, i go on and on and on
cause she's everything to me

she's a saturday out on the town
and a church girl on sunday
she's a cross around her neck
and a cuss word 'cause its monday
she's a bubble bath and candles
baby come and kiss me
she's a one glass of wine
and she's feeling kinda tipsy

she's the giver i wish i could be
and the stealer of the covers
she's a picture in my wallet
of my unborn children's mother
she's the hand that i'm holding
when i'm on my knees and praying
she's the answer to my prayer
and she's the song that i'm playing

and she's everything i ever wanted
and everything i need
i talk about her, i go on and on and on
cause she's everything to me

she's the voice i love to hear
someday when i'm ninety
she's that wooden rocking chair
i want rocking right beside me
everyday that passes
i only love her more
yeah, she's the one
that i'd lay down my own life for

and she's everything i ever wanted
and everything i need
she's everything to me
yeah she's everything to me

everything i ever wanted
and everything i need
she's everything to me

the definition of keeping one's self entertained.

i'm trying to work at my laptop at the kitchen table, and doc really wants me to throw his green jingly ball i bought for him a couple days ago.

well, it's hard to write while your obsessive-compulsive dog continues to bring the ball to your lap over and over and over for hours.

so i just started ignoring him.

well, he still hops up on my lap, drops the ball after a couple seconds and it rolls off down my legs and across the floor. he chases it like i've just thrown it, and he has to get it before someone else does. my legs are crossed at my ankles so sometimes the ball gets trapped right there. he stares at it, every muscle tensed, and pounces on it - grabbing it like i might yank it back from him or something.

i'm not sure whether the dog is a genius or a moron.

he's happy. that's all that matters.

rockin' in 2007.

the first photo of the henrys in 2007.henry family kiss at 12:02.new year's toast. don't worry - it's cranberry juice.the first kiss of 2007.happy new year, friends.