Aiming for progress, not perfection.

"...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you
will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Philippians 1:6

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

stretch marks: the naked truth. (don't worry. no pictures.)

when i first got pregnant, i was obsessed with belly pictures. i still like them, but in the beginning i would surf the internet looking at pregnant ladies' bellies - unable to imagine the day when i would be that big. more often than not, the pictures of ladies at the end of their pregnancies would be complete with stretch marks. some a little. some a lot. "ugh," i would think. "that is so ugly. i really hope i don't get those."

well, i might've jinxed myself. because i did get them. i tend toward the "some a little" end of the scale, but we aren't done yet. i definitely have my fair share, and they aren't disappearing. they're multiplying, especially since i think the baby has dropped some in the past week, causing my poor lower belly even more stress. i took some 35-week belly pictures today, and honestly, you don't want to see them. i may have to resign myself to taking photos with my skin covered (something my husband has been requesting for awhile) if any more of my first-pregnancy belly photos are going to go public. it's just not pretty. at least not to you...

which leads me to my main reason for writing about this: i'm torn on my feelings for my stretch marks. oh, i certainly stand in front of the mirror nightly (and morningly, when i'm not late) and just touch them, thinking, "do i really have these bright red marks in my once-unblemished skin? i will never wear a bikini again. never. how sad..." but other times, like for a little while tonight, i stand in front of the mirror, and think, "what an incredible body i have. it stretches and pulls and sacrifices itself for the sake of the miracle that is growing inside of me. it is strong and capable of much. these stretch marks are a minimal price to pay for the blessing that i'll be receiving in no more than six weeks. when i feel her move inside me, realizing that God has used my body as the vessel in which he has grown her from a tiny embryo into a person who will live and breathe and function in society, i think, "stretch marks? bring 'em on!"

they are battle scars. worthwhile injuries for the greater good of mankind. when this is all over, they will be monuments to the child whom i plan to raise to be kind, caring, compassionate and God-fearing - a child whom i know the Lord will use for his glory.

and when i put it that way, i wouldn't give them back even if i could. a bikini could never compare. not ever.

1 comment:

Natalie said...

shame on landon for telling you to cover that beautiful baby belly up! be proud of that belly and those stretch marks, they are outward expressions of an inward miracle; a permanent reminder of true love and everyone deserves such a badge of honor. so show them! you earned them and i think they (and you) are gorgeous.