on a disgusting note...

there are no more paper cups in the cabinet so i was looking for an alternative. i'm really thirsty today for some reason. anyway, i came up with a traditional coffee mug and a pink travel coffee mug, both in or on my desk somewhere. i decided to go with the pink mug since it's bigger, and i'm really thirsty. well.. on the way to the kitchen for water, i heard the sound of sloshing inside the pink mug. i silently pleaded, "don't tell me..." oh yes. coffee. in the pink mug. AT LEAST six months old. let me just say, i've never seen black mold like that before. this picture is not even as bad. needless to say, i went with the traditional coffee mug. the pink mug is being quarantined and disinfected for at least the next 48 hours. even still, i may throw it away. bleh.

observations from the starbucks on gaston.

i'm here waiting for an interviewee who is already 15 minutes late.

things i've noticed:

*it's always cold inside a starbucks. lucky for me, it's lovely outside.
*even though i tell myself i won't do it this time, i always get lemon pound cake and only eat the icing part.
*bums are funny. this one here is wearing a shirt that says "freak" and chewing on what is obviously a starbucks straw. it's green. he keeps saying things in a sing-song voice from around the corner. it was scaring me for while, but now i know he's there. the latest scene: he's going up to people saying, "one quarter!" i think people here know him. this guy says, "let me check my magic wallet. oh...there's more than a quarter." and he handed him a dollar. the bum walks off, hair all floppy and long, beard down to his chest, "it's better to give than to receive" in that same, rhythmic, singing voice. he keeps looking at me. i really only have a quarter. he can have it if he wants. he walks very quietly and when he walks behind me, i'm scared he'll say something and i'll jump. i must look paranoid.
*a lot of people walk to work around here. wish i could. forty-five miles is just not really an option for such a mode of transportation, however.
*i love the diversity of people in east dallas.
*i love that there's a dog bowl with water on this deck.
*sometimes i miss college.
*i can't decide where i want to raise my baby.
*i love caramel. it's the perfect combination of salty and sweet.

monday night football and love.

we're sitting here watching carson palmer play great and brett favre play terrible.

i have my tank top pulled up above my belly, and i just caught landon staring at me, smiling.

a huge grin, i'm telling you.

he said, "why are you so beautiful?"

i think he likes to imagine the baby i have inside.

this with my puppy cuddled between my legs, sleeping.

my boys, my baby and football.

what could be better?

quote of the day.

"if people don't understand listening to a bit**ing pregant women then they probably didn't live through the cuban missile crisis."

-mickey spagnola

i felt the baby move! (i think...)

it was this really light, fluttery, bubbling feeling about an inch or two below my belly button - inside, of course. it's what everyone who's had a baby has described to me as far as the first time feeling the baby.

it happened as i was on my way down to the field after the game. it happened twice. real quick, almost before i knew it. i wished it would happen again so i could make sure.

i also wish i would've been with landon instead of crammed into the press elevator, sweating.

i just had to smile to myself and touch back. i wonder if he (she?) felt me.

it was really cool, i must say.

i can't wait until it happens again.

i love you, baby. do you know?

might as well join in... go ponies!

nat and molly have posted the 2006 princeton review rankings of their schools (ole miss/a&m) so, of course, i was curious about what smu was ranked.

i was pleasantly surprised, though we weren't ranked in as many things as ole miss or a&m.

no. 8 - little race/class interaction ummm.. not too proud about this, but it's definitely the truth.

no. 9 - major frat & sorority scene without a doubt. and look, we beat ole miss here.. hmmm.. (sorry, nat) but i can't claim it. i wasn't in a sorority.

no. 20 - happiest students awww... isn't that sweet?

no. 6 - great college towns not sure i agree with this one. i love dallas, don't get me wrong. but smu is not real high on the radar of the city's residents as a whole. my idea of a collge town is austin or boulder where the biggest things in the town are the schools. smu certainly isn't the biggest thing in dallas. besides alums, i'm not sure who really cares, to be honest.

also, smu was one of the 123 colleges named a best western college by the princeton review.

"our goal is simple: to identify some of the colleges and universities that we feel stand out within each region." - princeton review

just wait for next year's rankings.. if there's a category for most revived, turned-around, unexpectedly fantastic football team -- we'll win it. mark my words.

sept. 2: smu vs. texas tech.

you better watch.

i want, i want.

i want it to be Halloween, and i want cupcakes. and i want my apartment and all my things back. and i want to know if my baby is a boy or a girl. i want to feel him/her move. i want to sleep. i want vacation. i want snow. i want to dance. i want to cuddle my puppy. i want my stories to write themselves. i want a house. i want to see beth. and i want cupcakes. is that too much to ask?

tummy at 14 weeks and 4 days.

tell me how you really feel...

don't worry. i'm wearing a tube top.

a quick baby doctor update.

i weigh exactly the same as i did the last time i went to doctor.

that makes my baby weight gain -2 so far.

as it turns out, i can't have the fetal testing blood work done until 15 weeks (not a minute before), and i'm only 14 weeks and two days. so.. i'm going back in two weeks to have that done. after all that praying, we have two more weeks to pray.

we heard the baby's heart, and it's beating at 150 a minute today.

the first time we went, it was 138. the second time, she didn't tell me.

i asked her about what's normal for fluctuation, and she told me that a variation in heartbeat means a healthy baby.

yeah!

so that's about it.. i told her i get migraines. she told me i'm doing the best things for them right now (taking two tylenol, wrapping my head in ice and hibernating under covers), but that if they get worse, she'd prescribe me narcotics and something for my stomach if i get nauseous.

yeah for available narcotics! (just kidding..)

another good day at the baby doctor.

less than six weeks until we know if it's a boy or a girl...the countdown has begun.

a secret i can't spill.

i'm working on a really fabulous daddy present for landon.

i'm so excited!

a repost.

this is something my friend molly is considering having read at her wedding. i think it's so beautiful. when i read it, of course, i thought of landon. we've only been married for 10 months, and already his hands have done so many of these things for me. i definitely think molly should have this read. it's perfect.

please face each other and hold hands, so you may feel the gift that you are to one another.
these hands holding you on your weddding day are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever.
these are the hands that will work alongside yours as together you build your future.
these are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other.
these are the hands that will hold you when fear and grief wracks your mind.
these are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
these are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.
these are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.
these are the hands that will give you strenth when you need it.
and lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

a rumor confirmed.

the second trimester really is better.

i'm more awake, and i feel really, really happy and joyful.

i still cry easily, but this has nothing to do with pregnancy. i've always been that way.

a new development, however, is that the slightest offensive odor makes me literally want to puke. this was not something i experienced during the first trimester. i felt nauseous if i didn't eat on time, but that was nothing compared to this.

i used to not be able to smell anything. i think i liked it better that way...

***

baby doctor appointment No. 3 tomorrow. i'm getting blood drawn to test for downs syndrome and spina bifida and other things like that. we're believing everything will turn out perfectly.

please, dear Lord...

***

also, i have a haircut today at 5:45. woohoo. love haircuts.

what is a mother?

this post is in honor of the steadily increasing number of people in my life who are pregnant. the angels in heaven (and a certain three, in particular) are rejoicing with the news that my friends penny and mike are having a baby. i just found out yesterday that penny is eight weeks pregnant. penny waited a long time to find the most perfect man and God sent her mike. penny came along for mike at a time when he needed her most. he has three baby boys who are in heaven, and i know they can't wait to watch over their new baby brother or sister that penny has growing inside of her. i also found out that my friend nick's wife is about seven weeks pregnant. amy is 16 or so weeks pregnant. molly's friend lori's baby eli will be born today. and my family's youth pastors, abe and amy, had addison elyse just a couple days ago. the number of new lives that are blessing me and those around me is almost more than my already-full-of-love heart can handle. this is like no other experience on earth.

all of this made me wonder...what is a mother?

are there even words to describe her?

a mother is the only person who knows what it feels like to have another person living inside her. a mother is one whose heart was perfectly crafted to love her baby forever, no matter its flaws. a mother is giving, sacrificing and eternally grateful for the gift of her child. a mother doesn't mind getting dirty. a mother is consumed by prayers for her baby's happiness and peace. a mother encourages when no one else will. a mother cleans. a mother soothes. a mother knows just how every inch of skin on her baby's body feels and just the place where every freckle lies. a mother is outspoken and courageous. a mother will go to the ends of the earth to find what her baby needs. a mother potects, no matter the cost. a mother is calming and always knows what her child needs. a mother understands her baby's cries - even when he's 15, or 25 or 45. a mother's heart is capable of holding an equal amount of love for every one of her children. a mother is fierce. a mother is gentle. a mother would give up everything for one second more with her baby.

at the same time that all this incredible baby news is happening, landon had to attend a funeral yesterday for a baby named noah. noah was born only five months after he was concieved. he lived for 30 days, and is now in the arms of Jesus. my first inclination is to think, "why even send him, God?" but when i really think about it, in those 30 days noah was alive he made a mother out of his mom. she was already a mother, but it happened all over again as soon as she knew noah existed. and i know noah's mom will always cherish the moments she could touch his tiny hands and feet. i know she realized more blessings in his short life than she could've imagined possible.

a mother is one who realizes her life is better for knowing her child - no matter what that means.

MORE tiny baby names.

sadie joy.

adeleine.

reese...for a boy or a girl.

thoughts?

the best place to look for baby names is on websites or at stores where they sell birth announcements. they always display the cutest names.

happy 10 months, my love.

today landon and i have been married for 10 months. amazing, isn't it? it seems like every month creeps up on me, and i'm amazed at how far we've come already. i know it'll be a year before we know it.

a lot has happened since oct. 14, 2005, and i wouldn't trade any of it.

i love you, david landon henry.

a lesson.

wearing thong underwear with a denim skirt on a 105-degree august day is not smart.

ode to deadline day.

oh dearest deadline day
bane of my breath

seven ago you were seven away
but it now seems less have passed

the seconds tick slowly, but fast
my head pounds, my stomach growls

nary a word is typed on this blank white
and my phone is silent, asleep as if night

what's left of you seems hours
but more is the work

eventually you'll pass
and i'll smile sweet relief

but soon you'll come back
and my heartache replete

baby belly from yesterday.

i'm 13 weeks today. this was taken with my cell phone in my car while waiting for landon. yes, waiting on landon. imagine...

something on which i cannot decide.

my next doctor's appointment is in two weeks, on aug. 21. at my last appointment, on july 24, the nurse handed me a pamphlet about prenatal testing. actually, i can't remember exactly what it's called, but it's something like that.

anyway, they draw blood and test my baby to find out if he may have down syndrome, spina bifida or any number of various birth defects.

if the test comes back positive, it isn't for sure that the baby has the defect. in fact, i know a family (at landon's dad's church - the youth pastor there) whose baby tested positive for down syndrome in the initial screening, but, after weeks of agonizing, a subsequent test and, i believe, a sonogram, they found out the baby is perfectly healthy.

my initial reaction is to not get the screening. i believe prayer and more prayer is what will keep my baby healthy, and what will i gain if i DO find out he's sick while i'm just 15 weeks pregnant? on one hand, it'd give me more time to pray and be prepared for the special needs of a child with such disabilities. on the other hand, i might just agonize myself to death over the whole thing.

then, a lady at my church, judy, told me about when her baby was born with a cleft lip (this baby is actually my friend, regan), she had just happened to read a magazine article beforehand about a baby who had surgery to correct it. she said she knew God put the article in her path (this was before sonograms) so when they said, "you have a beautiful baby girl, except..." she didn't freak out.

and that got me thinking. if i DON'T find out, will that moment when the baby is born and the doctors have to whisk him off and tend to his problems and i'm laying there spread eagle, bleeding, just having found out my baby has a birth defect be way too much?

landon said to me he didn't think we needed the tests. he said it several times before i asked, "are you saying that because you really don't think we need them or you're afraid of how much they cost?"

he answered honestly, "i'm afraid of how much they cost."

we talked some more, and he said if there were no extra cost involved, he'd rather know ahead of time, which makes sense.

i don't know. mostly i should just trust God that the baby is going to be fine. every night as he's falling asleep, landon lays his hand on my belly, and murmurs, "thank you Jesus for a healthy baby." any other time i happen to take his hand and put it on the baby, he prays the same prayer.

i know everything will be fine. i just can't decide whether or not to have these dang tests, and i don't know why it's such a big deal.

pregnancy DOES make you lose brain cells.

i retract the request in the last post. i cannot go to lubbock that weekend! i have 850 important events to try to attend/plan.

duh!

sorry for all you people who read that and thought, "um, is sarah a moron?"

eternal apologies.

pregnancy DOES make you lose brain cells.

i retract the request in the last post. i cannot go to lubbock that weekend! i have 850 important events to try to attend/plan.

duh!

sorry for all you people who read that and thought, "um, is sarah a moron?"

eternal apologies.

i need road tripping pals.

on sept. 2 (a saturday) the smu mustangs take on the texas tech red raiders in lubbock in the football season opener.

i want to go.

anyone with me?

a new baby name.

what do you think about this:

samuel elias.

samuel is my brother's (travis) middle name, and it means "His name is God." it's hebrew.

elias is just stinkin cool, and it means "the Lord is my God." it's latin.

i'm thinking of it because there's a kid in our youth group named samuel elias. it's the sam i quoted earlier on this blog -- sam solano.

i have absolutely zero feedback from landon on this particular name, so i can't really attest to how viable an option it is. if landon doesn't like it, it's out.

i think it's great.

thoughts?

wedding shoes!

these are the shoes i bought today for molly's wedding. love bandolino!

i couldn't get the picture to copy, but here's the link. they're the bronze ones - the first ones in the line.

tell me what you think.

this means you, molly.

so excited!

a mixture.

so..apparently my tummy is too big. almost everyone who's looked at the site and my baby pictures is asking if i'm sure i'm not having twins.

don't think so. either i'm fat or my baby is big. don't know which. i'm sorta hoping, as crazy as this sounds, that i'm just fat. because i don't know if i want to handle a big baby. you know, just the birthing of it. i have been informed that there are 11-13 pound boy babies in landon's family. Jesus help me.

***

it's 5:38, and i'm not all that motivated to drive home in rush hour. not to mention, no one is at the house. mom's at school. travis is at church. landon's playing basketball. then again, that could mean nap time. hmmm...

***

remember to check out Cowgirl Post: here.

***

i have a lot of old pictures on my camera that i should post on here. but i don't really wanna.

***

the TEA accountability ratings came out today, and two of the schools i cover in DISD were rated "academically unacceptable." not good. but in good news: RISD's lake highland's schools did great, and the district's overall ranking moved from "academically acceptable" to "recognized" for the first time. nice.

***

i wish i were in oxnard.