grace.

i'm adding music to the old ipod shuffles we're filling for the kids for their christmas presents. i have ellie's full, and i'm testing it to be sure everything loaded. the second song to play is from this album, the one that played while i was in labor with lylah. a swirl of feelings come over me as i remember these peaceful lullabies laden with scripture playing the soundtrack to one of the hardest, most intense things i've ever done.

and i think of how God's grace is like that everyday: ever-present through our highest highs and our lowest lows.

HE IS NEVER ABSENT FROM US.

no. matter. what.

grace surrounds. always. a soundtrack to each breath, no matter how ragged or labored. He hears every cry.

a book recommendation on the topic (+ others): one thousand gifts. it will change your life.

salvation is here.

the more students filled the foyer, the hotter it got. a quick scan around the place found makeshift fans waving in front many a face. despite the heat, smiles spread across lips. most especially, mine.

my heart fluttered as the band started worship. shoulder-to-shoulder, students stood, filling the pews with potential. the living, breathing answer to battles fought in prayer.

i paced the back row with thanksgiving weighing heavy in my belly. hands raised, resisting the urge to shout, i felt so proud and so small at the same time. our hard work, though just beginning, is going to pay off. but the credit is God's. our greatest efforts are nothing without Him.

suddenly, i needed to be high. i needed the best view of this miracle God is working. i climbed to the back corner of the sound booth and looked. i looked at 225 souls and thought, "i am like zacchaeus, a sinner desperate to see the work of Jesus, for just a glimpse."

dozens were saved. dozens rededicated their lives. saved by and rededicated to the One who said this to zacchaeus and continues to say it to us:

“today salvation has come to this house... for the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” -luke 19:9-10

the first day of school.

today was the first day of school. a few months ago, before the end of last year and before lylah was born, i didn't think i'd still be a teacher on this day. i'd turned in my resignation because leaving lylah (and the other two as well, honestly) was out of the question. i wanted to nurse. and i desperately wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. on a whim, i included the possibility of continuing to work with the school via the yearbook in my resignation letter. i truly, truly love my school and knew it would be hard to find someone to take over the yearbook job. the learning curve is steep, and it takes up a lot of time for an english teacher. even so, i really didn't expect it to work out.

i was wrong.

it has more than worked out. the school has given me everything i asked for: one class period (for yearbook I, II & III), an afternoon time slot, and the opportunity to maintain health insurance for my sweet family of five. i am still a part of the team at tlca while still very much a stay-at-home mom. i can take my big kids to preschool as well as attend their events there and pick them up when it's over. i can nurse my baby. i can go grocery shopping with my kids and take them to the park. i can do laundry and clean bathrooms during the day if i want to. i can also get showered and dressed for work and wear a tlca name badge. i can go to football games. i can hug my students of two years who are now 8th graders. i can supervise the creation of the third eagle charter yearbook. it is mind-blowingly, unbelievably ideal. totally perfect. God is such a showoff.

i love being a teacher. and i love being a mom. i truly have the best of both worlds.

today was great. my staff is great. i can already see their creative, artistic minds turning. i can't wait to see what they come up with over the next several months. making it even sweeter was that class was sandwiched on either side by my having lunch with my kids and putting them down for their naps.

it's going to be a great year.