So far.

If there were words, I would use them. So far, I have been rendered speechless, full of simultaneous peace and pain. There is so much, and I am so little.

And yet.

1 Corinthians 12:9

salvation is here.

the more students filled the foyer, the hotter it got. a quick scan around the place found makeshift fans waving in front many a face. despite the heat, smiles spread across lips. most especially, mine.

my heart fluttered as the band started worship. shoulder-to-shoulder, students stood, filling the pews with potential. the living, breathing answer to battles fought in prayer.

i paced the back row with thanksgiving weighing heavy in my belly. hands raised, resisting the urge to shout, i felt so proud and so small at the same time. our hard work, though just beginning, is going to pay off. but the credit is God's. our greatest efforts are nothing without Him.

suddenly, i needed to be high. i needed the best view of this miracle God is working. i climbed to the back corner of the sound booth and looked. i looked at 225 souls and thought, "i am like zacchaeus, a sinner desperate to see the work of Jesus, for just a glimpse."

dozens were saved. dozens rededicated their lives. saved by and rededicated to the One who said this to zacchaeus and continues to say it to us:

“today salvation has come to this house... for the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” -luke 19:9-10

early morning ministry.

a little before 5 o'clock this morning, i awoke to the small-yet-distressed cries of my son.

before i could get to his door, i could smell that he had been sick.

i flipped the light on to find him face down, knees up and shivering. he and his bed were covered in the evidence of a very upset tummy. his clothes were soaked, his arms and legs were covered, his hair a matted mess.

as i undressed him, he continued to shiver and repeated over and over, "yucky, mommy, yucky" as he cried. a bath was inevitable.

what followed was one of the truest acts of ministry of which the Lord has allowed me to be a part.

it occurred to me as i carried him to the bathroom that i should get in the tub with him.

we got in, and i held him against me. dirty. still shaking. naked.

i cupped my hand and poured warm water over him, slowly washing him from head to toe with a soapy rag as he lay on my chest, arms tightly clinging.

eventually, he stopped shaking and was at peace in my arms as i prayed over him.

the Lord said, "do you see? this is a picture of you and Me. you were cold and scared and surrounded by the mess you had made for yourself. when you were ready to cry out to Me, I ran to you and pulled you up out of your trouble. I pulled you near and washed you of every stain. and you found rest and comfort in Me. be aware, sarah. what I did for you, I will use you to do for others. this is one of many times."

"He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as i walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
many will see what he has done and be amazed.
they will put their trust in the Lord."
-psalm 40:2-3