waiting.

i've been revisiting my archives lately, looking at things i wrote and worried about, prepared and purchased while pregnant with my other two children. i haven't written much (at all?) about my third pregnancy, lylah ruth in residency. several times, i have said, "by the third time, the novelty of pregnancy has worn off." i want the baby, bad. the pregnancy part isn't nearly as cute or fun this time around. while everything about this pregnancy has been easy and uncomplicated medically, it has been more difficult for me physically. more aches and pains. less energy. lots less energy. and frustration because i really do want to clean and organize and run all around preparing for this next phase that is so close yet seems so far. but it hurts. literally. so i am minimally productive and maximally frustrated. i am hopeful that as school winds down, i will be able to pace myself better and be able to get more domestic-related to-do items crossed off my list. i need my mornings. i feel pretty good in the morning. but i go to work in the morning. and by 4 p.m., when i'm off work, my production level is paltry at best. i know it's a season. i know we are getting there. i know these next dragging eight weeks will fly by, and i will be holding my precious third child in my arms in just a few bats of an eyelash.

in the meantime, i'm waiting. arranging and rearranging a carefully curated collection of diaper covers. drifting off to sleep with the lamp on so i can gaze at her cradle and her stacks of summer hats.

i long for you, lylah. i love you so.

lylah ruth: 32 weeks, 2 days.