spring...four months early.

i just got an email in my inbox with highlights from pottery barn's new spring collection.

i found myself ooing and ahhing outloud at the colors and flowery patterns and the overall brightness of the new stuff.

God knew what he was doing with seasons, didn't He?

i'm a huge fan of winter, don't get me wrong. and i'm not ready for it to be over just because christmas is over.

but being able to look ahead and know that brighter days are ahead -- both literally and figuratively -- is so danged refreshing, isn't it?

thank you Lord, for always knowing what we need. seasons were a genius idea.

You are a wise, kind King.

homesick.

until now, i don't think i've had time to be homesick. things have been a whirlwind of activity with moving followed quickly by the holiday rush. but now, there are no more holidays. now it's...almost january.

and what happens in january?

there are no more christmas trees or picture-window ornament displays. there's no more shopping, wrapping, christmas caroling or holiday partying.

there are no more distractions.

i miss my mommy. and weekly lunches with dad. and scott and laura and kelly and travis. i miss my friends.

oh, i already have new friends. i think i had them before i got here. but it doesn't keep me from missing my old ones. plus the ones here have crazy -- i'm talking cra-zy -- lives. emergency rooms, bed rest, new babies, etc. etc.

i just miss dallas. and people newspapers. yeah. get that...i miss having a JOB!

i think that adds to the sickness. the asu thing is STILL pending. pending a hole right through my heart, let me tell you. i'm still hopeful, but things better get moving. otherwise, i'm gonna go all out nuts. and there's the tiny (OK, bigger than tiny) part of me that is worried i don't have a chance at asu. and then what? i checked the job listings in the standard-times last night. you know one of the openings was? a goat herder. mmm hmm. a freakin goat herder.

the woman who is used to tollroads and skylines and suburbs, updown, downtown, exploding populations and major market media just read a job listing for a goat herder.

and i'm not even qualified!

heaven, help me.

i need someone to pay me to write. pronto.

it's weird how the Lord comforts even while we worry. as many times as He's proved that to me lately, it's still weird. i know i've written before about how He puts songs in my heart for specific reasons. today He has given me "faithful One" from the selah duets album.

"i find no hope within to call my own
for i am frail of heart, my hope is gone
but deep within my soul is rising up a song
here in the comfort of the faithful One."

singing that song doesn't erase my homesickness, but it does give me comfort. i can be alone in the deepest, darkest wilderness, but "deep within my soul" i know He will always be faithful.

it's bittersweet, really.

tonight i cling.

yep.

God does provide in limitless, miraculous ways...

hallelujah.

the sweetest thing.

i just walked in on my husband reading my daughter a book about woodland animals making a snowman...complete with a different voice for each character.

does it get better?

guest room.

everyone can come visit now.

the guest room bed is made, and there are some sparse decorations.

ven aqui.

a beautiful bride-to-be.

this post is late in coming, but i have super great news. my beautiful sister laura is engaged! she's not getting married until the summer of 2009 (at least that's the plan so far), but the process is officially started. she's engaged to taylor and will be gaining a beautiful daughter named kyla. they'll make a beautiful family. she's planning on a destination beach wedding -- so totally my sister. i haven't seen it in person, but judging by the picture and the fact that my mom almost started crying when she was telling me how beautiful it was, her ring is certainly incredible!

i love you laura, taylor and kyla, and i'm so excited for you. i'm praying God's sweetest blessings over you. enjoy this time of planning and expectation.

step-by-step.

the day has come, my friends.

well, it came yesterday.

yesterday, ellie took her first steps.

HOLY CRAP!!!!

we were at delana's for most of the day. landon was helping david install the trim (have you seen their beautiful new floors?!) and i was helping (well, at least offering moral support) put up christmas decorations.

ellie was standing up in the kitchen, holding delana's fingers after eating some cream of wheat, which she loved. i held my hands out to her, and said, "come on." i think i've been doing that every day since she stood on her own on halloween.

and she came on! she took two little steps to my hands! it was incredible.

after that we got her to take just one step two or three more times. then she started getting annoyed with us so we took a break.

later in the evening, she took three steps from landon to delana.

10 months and 4 days. goodness.

now it really won't be long before i start chasing her. i was thinking crawling was bad. i can only imagine.

maybe i'll lose some weight...

i'm so proud of you, ellie belle. you're perfect.

wow.

sunday morning church was amazing. landon is the most amazing preacher. i am so proud of him. he is eloquent and interesting and compelling. i literally beam at the thought of being his wife. i do not deserve him, that is for sure.

worship was awesome this morning, but tonight?

if you were not there, people, you missed out. like woah.

it was incredible.

i love it when i get deep into the presence of God in worship, and it's like my voice is no longer my own. i do not sing the way i could will myself to sing. i sing the way i will sing in heaven... no missed notes, pretty harmonies. seriously, if you asked me to sing a harmony impromptu, i couldn't if my life depended on it. but in the presence of my most Holy Father, it flows the way He created it to flow.

there were several words from members of the congregation, and all of them spoke to me in a way i could not begin to explain here. i am struggling with something BIG right now, and i feel desperately disqualified. but it's incredible how the Lord wraps is arms around you and comforts you. during this time when things are difficult in my life -- i am still going to have to suffer the natural consequences of what i'm struggling with -- it is an incredible gift to know the peace of the King. it makes me realize that i will walk out of this valley a stronger person. no matter how bad it hurts along the journey. He is capable of using it for good, and i'm banking on that.

david never even preached tonight. we all just worshipped -- ministering to God and being ministered to by Him and each other.

oh, how i wish there was no work and no cleaning and no laundry so we could just sit around and do that all day every day!

glorious.

thank you, Lord for pouring Yourself over us lavishly. i, for one, reveled in You tonight. You are a soft, warm place to sit when life is poking me from all sides. i never leave Your presence unchanged.

and thank goodness for that because i can use all the changing i can get.

a happy husband at dinner time. what could be better?

it's small victory time again...

tonight i made popcorn shrimp (as in frozen, throw it on a cookie sheet in the oven for 12 minutes), steamed broccoli with melted butter, salt and pepper and buttered toast.

sounds low-cal, huh?

even if it isn't, it feels SO good to eat at home, and landon was just totally thrilled. he loves broccoli, and apparently i nailed the steamage. he loved it so much, he stole my last piece. silly man.

so.. celebrating. he just left to get some drinks at the store, and he kissed me like he'd just fallen in love with me all over again before he walked out the door.

i need to cook broccoli more often! :)

happy 10-months, my baby love.

today ellie is 10 months old. i know i've said this every month since she as born, but i cannot believe it. where has the time gone?! it's crazy. she's been standing up for a month and half, but she's yet to take any steps. she has lots of new tricks though. she's getting so smart. she's definitely getting interested in toys, and it's so fun to watch. she loves to sit in her room surrounded by things. things that play music are the very best. we have a dancer on our hands. anything with a beat gets her grooving like crazy. i really think she bobs to the beat too. smart little girl. she's developing a personality more and more, and it's really quite amusing. she has everyone charmed. she can be being a little toot in the store, but if someone walks up, she just grins and grins like she's never done anything but grin. i think i might have my hands full with her. but i'm loving every minute of it. she is still a daddy's girl, but she's starting to have the "mommies" sometimes. she actually puts her arms up for me, and wants to be carried around the house sometimes instead of left to play or watch praise baby (her all time favorite dvds). the christmas season has been extra magical with her around. watching her look at the lights and the sparkles and the colors - even though i know she doesn't quite comprehend yet - has been every mother's dream. i can't wait to watch her tear into presents. yes, yes. i know she's going to like the boxes better than the toys themselves, but that's OK by me. it's just way cool to be christmas shopping for your daughter. a dream come true.

i'm only posting pictures that i took of ellie today, because i'm using landon's SUPER AWESOME new laptop -- i am endlessly jealous -- and he doesn't have all the other photos. mine is tragically slow because i have, oh, 1800 photos on it. i do have two ADORABLE pictures of her from a few days ago, but pa said i can't post them 'cause it's her naked bootie. so enjoy her beauty from today. i, for one, have never seen a more beautiful baby girl.

i love you, my ellie. with more love than you can ever know.

addresses.

the following people must send me their addresses, post haste:

-christal
-crystal
-teresa
-maggie
-melissa

gracias.

(sarah.e.p.henry@gmail.com)

celebrating the small victories.

i haven't eaten fast food in two whole days.

this, my friends, is amazing.

i'm going to see how long i can go without.

i don't like fast food all that much. i'm just lazy. but, as we were discussing with lennon and christal the other night, it's SO wonderful to eat real food at home. it just tastes so good.

why is this such a hard concept?

so this is a test of my cooking/seeking-out-good-stuff motivation more than it is a banishment of fast food.

i know you're thrilled. i can tell.

the great unknown.

the future is scary. when i stop to think about how things will turn out in my life, i feel a leap in my gut that radiates through the rest of my body. it is not always the leap of excitement or positive anticipation. sometimes it is dread, premature regret and fear. i lose sleep. i eternally ponder. but no matter how hard i squint, it still looks foggy.

even so, He draws me near amid my childlike worry.

and with a simple raise of my hands, my tummy is calmed and the tears of sweet surrender flow. i don't know. but He does. and He promises, over and over and over that He has not planned for harm, but for hope. He who sees time promises a happy ending no matter what obstacles present themselves along the path.

as He cradles my heart and soul, the uneasiness subsides. only in His shadow am i able to be completely at rest, at ease with whatever may come.

please stay. i need You so desperately.

see those days at the bottom? they're the only reason i'm not throwing a royal fit about tomorrow and saturday...

Forecast Conditions

High/Low °F

Precip. Chance

Golf Index High Temperatures Low Temperatures Precipitation Wind Speed

Tonight Dec 6 Partly Cloudy N/A/53° 10%			High not valid after 2pm
Fri Dec 7 Sunny 81°/54° 10%			9 Very Good How to Handle Heavy Headwinds
Sat Dec 8 Sunny 81°/56° 10%			9 Very Good
Sun Dec 9 Isolated T-Storms 69°/30° 30%			9 Very Good
Mon Dec 10 Showers 40°/34° 40%			0 Very Poor Watch for Wet Turf
Tue Dec 11 Partly Cloudy 54°/34° 10%			7 Good
Wed Dec 12 Partly Cloudy 53°/31° 20%			7 Good

the lift.

do you ever have that feeling in your tummy that exciting things are coming?

i've had that feeling for awhile, and last night, it got exponentially stronger.

last night was our first night at the lift -- our new youth group.

i-t w-a-s A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

the kids were so excited. they made us signs, and we had a party with a special welcome cake and everything. i just felt at ease. landon did a wonderful job preaching about Jehovah Rohi, the Lord our Shepherd - lots of hysterical similarities between us and sheep. we're both stupid. the kids were laughing at the funny parts and real quiet during the serious parts. i'm so proud of landon. he does such a wonderful job connecting with people. every time i looked at him, there were no less than five kids surrounding him. our leaders were super excited and sweet too. oh! and eight people raised their hands during the altar call! how amazing is that?! praise Jesus.

i just know this is going to be an incredible place to be. i can only hope that the wonderful people at this church can receive from us the tiniest fraction of the blessings they have already heaped upon us.

the lift rocks!

all wrapped up.

i wrapped christmas presents yesterday. ellie helped.

red delicious.

this beautiful red(ish orangish) tree is in my front yard. us texans don't usually get to enjoy this kinds of stuff very often; i feel like it's a housewarming gift from Jesus. i just love it.

the thing is so huge i had to stand across the street to get this picture. in my pajamas, of course.

pushing the deadline. it runs in my blood.

my twenties have been a really strange season of self analysis. when i was younger, it never occurred to me to try to figure out why i did certain things. now i do it all the time. here's another conclusion: journalists always push the deadline. they sit around and sit around and sit around until there are just minutes left before something is due. they just cannot write unless it's under intense pressure. i fit this description. i am a journalist. i've discovered this tendency carries over to the rest of my life. my very best work (ahem, getting the house ready for the progressive dinner) happens with just seconds to spare. also it's usually extremely early in the morning or extremely late at night when the creativity starts flowing. no, this cannot be diagnosed with far less glamorous terms like "lazy," "procrastination" or "irresponsible." i work the way i work, people! accept it!

annoyed yet?

so is the guitar version of 'joy to the world' getting to you yet?

maybe i'll find time to take it off after i knock off a few of the things on my, oh, THIRTY-ITEM-LONG to-do list.

no exaggeration, folks. it is 31 items and counting.

'i put vaseline in my nostrils this morning' and other stories.

it's danged dry, people. i think it's one of the reasons why i've been "sick" since i moved here.

sneezing, coughing - you name it, i've been doing it for darn near a month now.

and though this may be too much information, you ladies with babies know what i'm talking about. sneezing and coughing is never just that. you always gotta pee in your pants a little with each one. i know, i know. gross. and freakin irritating! but you know it's true.

yes, i know about kegel exercises.

**********

i have more lights to put up and oh-so-much to do before the party friday. i'm getting nervous.

**********

speaking of nervous, tomorrow night is our first youth service. missy has already been up to help landon. sweet girl. we met several other kids this weekend - our first official weekend - as well. they were completely wonderful.

**********

i'm having a hard time adjusting to the fact that i'm not on vacation here. it's even weirder since i don't have a job. i'm running around all day, and it seems like people should be there with me. i have to stop myself from calling delana to go shopping all the time 'cause, um, she has to work. stupid work.

**********

i cry during worship every time. i'm talking about EVERY TIME. no exception. doesn't matter if the leader fell off the stage or the drummer was off beat or the guitarist broke strings. e-v-e-r-y time. this is a lovely experience when i'm alone in my car, and the tears flow unnoticed. but when i'm required to "shake hands with five people" with drippy mascara and a snotty nose, i know people are wondering. "oh.. poor girl. something must be wrong." "ahh.. how sweet. she's crying." it's bordering on ridiculous.

**********

i've been a terrible friend to angela, jenny and crystal for the past couple of weeks. this is not a request for reassurance. it's just the honest truth.

**********

i really want to have a playdate at my house, but i have absolutely nothing to do for your 2-to-4-year-old children. ellie's toy collection is limited at the moment because she's only just started paying toys any attention. i'm sure it will at least triple with christmas-a-comin, but in the meantime, i'm afraid your kids would be bored to tears. maybe i can set up a christmas coloring contest or something. hmm..

**********

i miss kylah at every intersection in this town.

**********

the Lord is providing for us in miraculous ways. you know how sometimes the money just seems to stretch? you haven't done anything different or haven't really seen a comprehendable increase in your income? oh, how He makes wine from water. hallelujah.

**********

we had dinner with lennon and christal tonight. stir fry veggies with rice and spicy shrimp. holy toledo. talk about yum. and their house? quaint and perfectly adorable. i'm jealous. and we watched 'mickey blue eyes.' a fun time was had by all. thanks for having us over, guys.

*********

two elderly couples stopped ellie and me on the way into dillard's today and ooed and aahed over her for at least 10 minutes. no joke. the one lady, who could barely walk, said, "we're the grandparent type. she likes us." how cute!

*********

my nose is raw again. the vaseline is calling.

only through Jesus.

i've learned that it truly is possible to love those who hurt you. there is someone in my life right now who has hurt me, and my heart is soft. i hurt FOR this person. it's the strangest thing, but the Lord just said, "this is how I feel for you. you hurt Me, purposefully sometimes, when you sin, but My heart aches for you. I ceaselessly pray that which is best for you."

amazing.