"we can't have any more kids, they won't fit in the car," and other thanksgiving tales.

we are home from san antonio, and our thanksgiving vacation is officially over. so sad!

we had an exhausting quanity of stuff when we went to kylah's house. you should have seen us when we came back. we had to borrow part (read: most) of nanny's car! good thing she was coming back to san angelo. otherwise, we never would have made it.

we had a great time and can't wait to go back. thank you for being such wonderful hosts, mike and kylah!

i came home to two good things and one bad thing. good: landon and several etsy packages! bad: a messy house. i'm gonna try to clean through my sleep-deprived state since my brother is stopping by tomorrow afternoon on his way back from the deer lease in ozona. yay! (to the visit from scott. not the cleaning. most certainly not the cleaning.)

one more official statement: after (literally) six days of (literal) straight eating, i've decided something must be done. here's to starting a diet during the holidays!

(stop laughing.)

holiday.

i apologize for the eternal zebra post.

we're in san antonio spending the week at kylah's. there have been many games of shanghi rummy as well as lots of eating, some shopping and a little bit of scrabble. matt and mandy come tonight. so do jo and mike's friends greg and sascha. tomorrow nanny and pawpaw come. i can't remember the last time this much "chill" time was spent with kylah. i love it. we saw each other nearly every weekend during the summer, but it was always for some crazy event that left us with barely enough time for a meal together. we stayed up until 2:30 this morning talking. i'm sleepy now, but that's OK. it was quite worth it. i'm sure we'll be playing several more games of rummy, shopping some more and eating lots more. kylah's house is beautiful and very comfortable. she even made us guest baskets on our beds with yummy ginger and green tea soaps. what a hostess. it's definitely been a great way to spend a thanksgiving holiday.

gobble, gobble.

call me zebra.

i have become a referee. since casen and grant started coming, i may as well just wear black and white stripes and don a whistle. the fault is entirely my daughter's. she lives to terrorize them, it seems! whatever they have, she takes. toys, bottles, pacifiers. like, constantly. like, as soon as i give her a big, stern speech, she cries, timeout, hugging, apologizing. like, TWO SECONDS LATER! jenny, please forgive me, but i just caught her sitting on grant. grant is wailing away, and ellie is just sitting on him! pinning him to the floor! heaven, help me. i'd like to do something besides scold her all day, but i mostly feel sorry for these boys. any suggestions? is this just something i have to deal with since they are all so small? i know she knows it's wrong. but aside from locking her in her room, i don't know what to do get her to mind her own business. help!

"i'm just gonna grit my teeth and do it," said the comb.

is there some rule that says little girls have to fight hair combings as if they were fighting off colonies of evil bats? screams, flailing arms, flinging snot and tears and all?

"He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live."

this is where i used to work. i quit this job to move to san angelo. the link is an article my dad sent me about how that small company recently laid off dozens of people and shut down three of its papers. i know they shut down two others earlier this year.

i know i've referenced my beth moore "believing God" bible study many times on this blog lately, but it's just outstanding what God is revealing to me. this week's homework is about how "God has been there all along." we've been going through our lives, one-fifth at a time, and asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to us where God has worked and revealed Himself throughout all the years of our lives. talk about awesome. one of the scripture references beth uses to show how involved God is in the lives of people is acts 17:26-27: "from one man He made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out to Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us."

i had already been believing God brought us to san angelo for many a long list of reasons.

add another one to the list.

can He truly love me so that He determines where i should live? not only does He love me enough to lead me, to order my steps, but He loves me enough to use my dad to reveal a confirmation like this one?

You are so wise and all-knowing, my King. help me to remember Your words and the truth that You always know what's best for me. Your attention to detail in my life is more than i can even comprehend. my heart bursts with love for You.

tease.

i have a really good thing to post. i'm just too sleepy. tomorrow. i couldn't do it justice at this hour.

a true freelance writer is born.

all i have to say is amarillo high school volleyball is really stinkin good. twice.

see? told ya it was cool.

check out my super cute kids featured on my new etsy friend's blog.

good times.

(thanks to jenny for the best photo ever!)

i knew i loved etsy.

love might be a bit weak. i swoon for etsy. literally. i'm getting as many christmas gifts as i possibly can from its shops. i'm working on opening my own shop. it's just so cool to think you're buying something that someone handmade in their craft room or studio or, like me, their kitchen. you're supporting someone's dream. and people's dreams are cool!

to make the great even better, i had a chance to pray for this awesome etsy seller this evening. as our conversation about her precious skirts progressed, we learned we share our faith, and i got to pray for her. i just think that's about the best thing ever.

go shop!

for lolli and kyla.

(i just realized that if you show that to kyla, you may be
showing it to her 50 times in a row. sorry!)

overwhelmed moment.

i know, in my heart, that things are on the path they're supposed to be on. that everything i'm trying to do right now is for good. that i can do it because He will strengthen me. but for a brief second right now, i'm feeling overwhelmed, unable and spread thin. i'm afraid of failing, afraid i already have.

**i really should only be rejoicing in this moment! all three babies at my house have been asleep for nearly an hour. i mean, two have been sleeping for longer, but all three have been sleeping for an hour. miraculous!**

stepping in to joy.

"ahhhh.." that is what i say after this weekend. being stuffed full of food, friends and time with Jesus is just probably the best thing in the world. delana did so much work to make this weekend wonderful, and she did such a great job. she always does. she works hard so we can relax. i like that set up! the ranch was lovely. it was cold at night. i love that. and i really took away some great stuff. joy is possible in all situations, a truth that is extremely timely regarding certain realms of my life at this point. also, when people are suffering joy-droughts, as it were, it is my job to just listen in most cases. people need an ear, not another attempt at an answer that i don't know any better than they do. good stuff.

ultimately, my quiet time late saturday afternoon was the highlight of my trip.

i started out doing my bible study, figuring it was a good time to catch up. i typically love to do that study so i was pretty surprised that i was so unable to concentrate. i kept trying, but i just felt the urge to walk around and worship. i had an ipod full of worship music so i was set. i walked around the grounds, watching other people spend time with God, admiring the sunset colors on the pond and on the treetops. i lifted my hands and sang as slow, sweet tears ran down my cheeks. after awhile, i wanted to kneel. there were piles of rocks close to the pond's edge, and i felt like i should kneel there. i doubted that idea at first since kneeling in rocks is typically pretty painful. but the idea wouldn't go away. so i did it. i got on my hands and knees in rocks and goat head stickers. i just sat for a minute, mindlessly pushing the rocks and dirt around with my fingers. when i picked up my hands to look, the rocks had left indentations in my skin and stickers had lodged themselves there. then God spoke, "like these rocks digging into your hands and knees, you will have painful, bothersome times in your life. some of them will leave a mark. but I will always bring you through. you may bear the scars, but they will represent to you the times I brought you victory." needless to say, i began to weep. the spit-is-running-out-of-your-mouth-because-you-forgot-to-swallow kind of weeping. partly because of the timeliness of the message. partly because of how incredibly cool and creative God is in showing things to His children. after awhile, i stood up. i lifted my hands again and the world felt effortless. raising my hands, which is usually something i feel physically, was so easy. it's like my arms weighed nothing. and the colors that had been beautiful before became 500 times more vivid. and God said, "though you will bear these scars, I will raise you up out of your pain to fulfill a high calling I have destined for you. you will be a testimony of My great, redemptive power and plan for My children whom I love so much."

i have no other way to end that but to say, "hallelujah."

for curtis.

i'm a little hard pressed to get pumped about the cowboys. i'm too nervous. i'm minimizing discussion about them, thinking it will hurt less that way if they totally flop even when newman, romo, felix jones, etc. come back next week. cute kids involve less risk.

but i keep telling myself: they've been playing so horribly because all the good players have been hurt. and brad johnson is horrible.

right....?

p.s. thanks for reading! :)

sigh, indeed.

appropriate. 'cause yesterday was my birthday.

where was i?

1 minute ago: in my kitchen, feeding ellie m&m's. awesome.

1 day ago: at the "stepping into joy" retreat with 34 other wonderful ladies. we were out in the country, which explains why my phone wasn't working for all your wonderful birthday phone calls. sorry!

1 week ago (and one day): shopping! and calling my dad, 'cause it was his birthday.

1 month ago: learning that my 83-year-old grandmother had just purchased her first computer, and was up and running on the internet.

3 years ago: i had been married for 3 weeks, and was working as a staff writer at people newspapers.

5 years ago: i was 21, had fallen madly in love with landon, was in my junior year studying journalism at smu and taking lots of hours in order to graduate a semester early.

7 years ago: i was still thinking about 9-11, deciding to be a journalist and partying it up my freshman year of college. kayci brooks was my roommate. God had begun the slow process of turning my heart toward Him. it would still be awhile before i'd get it.

10 years ago: oh, my word, this is crazy to think about. i was a sophomore at wilsonville high school and lived in tualatin, oregon. i was performing my second time in "grease" and we lived on 5 (was it 5?) acres and had horses. i was "in love" with a boy whom i thought i was going to marry. that, my friends, seems like a lifetime ago.

siblings.

jenny said to me, "do you want me to take a few pictures of your kids in the leaves? i know how you feel about fall." this photo (and the one i just added to post below) makes obvious why my answer was a resounding, "yes!"

3.

it's 4 a.m. your lamp is on because you seem to sleep better that way. your room smells of a mix between your babyness and the diaper i changed two hours ago and have yet to wrap up. your fussing fills the air. i reach the side of your crib, and your cries turn to grins. i sit in the green chair to feed you. you hungrily latch. one of your hands is wrapped around your food source as if you're holding a bottle. a perfect fit for your chubby wrists and fingers. your other hand is around my side, your fingers press into my skin to your own little rhythm. your ever-growing legs and feet are tucked underneath you. you are alert and eating for several minutes. you stare intently at me. then you slow to instinctive sucking as your eyes grow heavy. you are asleep. i rock you. i don't want to get up. finally, i do. your body stiffens for a moment as i stand up. then you are limp again in my arms. i lay you gently in your bed, pausing a moment to admire your perfection. you are three months old, grayson. you are my son. and i love you so much it hurts.

anybody have $550?

i want this. bad.

sarah henry.

i just got finished covering an asu volleyball game. they played eastern central university from ol' ada, okla. the rambelles killed them. the interesting thing was, ecu had a sarah henry on the team. look at her. we almost resemble each other!

she was born in 1990 though. which was like, not that long ago.

a new ice cream cone!

michelle, the sweetest, most thoughtful friend ever, just stopped by my house to bring me a diet dr. pepper from sonic! she read this post, and decided to bring me a new one. what a blessing! little things like that just make my day. only problem was i was sitting at my computer with my jeans unbuttoned, doing a phone interview for a story. classy, huh? sheesh...

thanks, michelle!! you're the best.

"yes we can."

if you stayed up late enough last night watching election coverage, you certainly saw president-elect barack obama's inspiring "yes we can" speech. if not, i have no doubt you've already seen it this morning on youtube. it is the top featured video on the site. not surprising.

i have been mulling over how to feel about this new, charismatic leader of our country. i don't have a feeling of certain doom for america over his election, but i do strongly disagree with many beliefs, plans and circumstances surrounding it. with my extremely small knowledge of politics and government, i can't begin to wrap my head around any predictions -- good or bad.

there are a few things i do know, however. and in the spirit of obama himself, i present them to you.

• "yes we can" pray for our president.
• "yes we can" respect our president.
• "yes we can" defend our president.
  
• "yes we can" believe the best about our president.
• "yes we can" be confident that God is still in control.

in recent months, i've had several conversations about just how nasty people have gotten about president bush. blatant disrespect and mistreatment of his name has run rampant. the president of the united states is the most powerful man in the world. he leads our country, the greatest country of all. God knew barack obama was going to lead our country before the foundation of the earth and in His word, He calls us to pray for and support our leaders. are we going to be the same as the bush bashers when the tables are turned? those people who have no doubt hurt him and his family? those people we were so disgusted with?

not a single one of us can claim to know the pressure and complexity of leading a country.

all i know to do is to pray and love. i refuse to be lumped with those "crazy christians" who run and hide and shut out the world, holding 24-hour prayer vigils for our certain destruction. our destruction may be certain. but i'm going down as one who continued to strive to reach out, figuratively and literally, to one-and-all.

it might get difficult, but i plan to take the high road.

so congratulations, president-elect obama.

"yes we can."

ice cream on the sidewalk.

i want to cry. like a kid who just dropped his ice cream cone on the sidewalk. i didn't get a coke all day until just now when landon and i drove through sonic after voting. i got a super great big diet dr. pepper, only to drop it all over the front porch while trying to open the glass door with ellie on my hip.

boo hoo hoo. :(

growth spurt?

grayson went to sleep at midnight last night almost right after he finished a feeding. he didn't wake up until 10 a.m. this morning. he ate quite a bit then, seemed normal and happy and stayed awake until about 11:30. he went back to sleep very easily and has been sleeping since. it's 2 p.m. i've been checking on him a lot, and he's just sleeping away. i know babies do this on occasion (you know, sleep through the night and take naps...), but it still sorta freaks me out!

tuesday update.

• first and foremost, happy election day! because we're into self punishment, we have not yet voted. we will be going around 3 p.m. to stand in what is sure to be a long line at st. luke's. we're looking for a babysitter. any takers? election day babysitter?
  
• grayson has been asleep since midnight. enough said. (ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!)
• i have yet to post about it, but the henry daycare is in full swing. i am watching grant today while jenny is tutoring. i'll have him every tuesday and thursday (though the schedule will be quite sparse over these holiday months). i'll add casen, a 5-day-a-weeker, next monday. grant is a total angel. he is doing a fabulous job entertaining ellie. jenny, can i have him every day?
• a confirmation after the last stint as henry daycare: watching bigger babies is easier than newborns; watching any babies is a million times easier when you're not pregnant.
• being that i will have at least 3 children under 2 in my home on any given day, i will not be about town much during the day. if you have an errand, a meeting, a spa appointment, feel free to bring your children to the henry daycare. no call-ahead necessary! the more the merrier!
• i need to put away all the clean laundry i spend 100 hours washing yesterday. yes, there were 100 hours in yesterday. you didn't know?
• i need to baby proof my kitchen so the kids can just roam. grant has already busted through the gates. he laughs at my gates.
• i have an etsy order i really hope comes today.
• pacifiers, aka sassas or pappis (not sure if i have that spelling...), are, um, being shared. i'm not sure how to remedy this siuation.
• goldfish are being stolen. by ellie. poor grant.
  
• more information on the henry daycare and thoughts surrounding its birth: landon and i have gotten serious about trying to make headway on monetary issues that have exponentially increased as of late. the first step was to begin the process to become a teacher (money is not the only reason i'm trying to teach, but it is sort of an added bonus. they pay you!), but that, as you know, will take some time to come to fruition. in the mean time, i am watching grant and casen on top of stories, nursery coordination and cleaning half the church. landon has gotten another job at target (give him some love during your holiday shopping!), and we're discussing the possibility of getting a paper route. a lot? yes. doable? with the right attitude and some serious coordinating? oh yeah. i think we're finally fed up, and we're charging right at the issue with guns a'blazin. pray for our continued motivation and God's blessing on our efforts.
  
• i went to target three times yesterday. more amazing: there was nary a child in my care for any of the trips. can you say twilight zone?
  
• grayson is still asleep. ho-ly smokes.
  

the neverending saga: laundry.

i am literally having to shove myself up off my rear to get laundry done today.

if you knew me many moons ago, you know i used to own enough (fairly expensive) clothes to not do laundry for months on end. i know because i tested the theory. constantly. you know the ol' everything's-dirty-so-i'll-just-go-buy-more approach? mmm hmm. poster girl, right here. not sure how that accounted for my shoes, but i digress.

now, in an effort to manage that massive mountain of dirty textiles (and because i have to buy my own clothes now, dang it), i try to keep my clothes and the kids' clothes to a minimum. oh, i still buy quite a bit. for the kids, at least. but i try to be discerning and buy good basics and things that will multitask.

this fact leaves me to wonder why on earth i still always have SO much laundry!

i can only conclude that laundry for four is a lot whether it's a lot or not.

what ellie thinks of halloween...

not really. this is just what she thinks of halloween pictures. she really had a blast running all over the place at rock the pumpkin, emphasis on RUN. (see: super dirty shoes.) the poor child is going to be disappointed if i ever take her trick-or-treating around the neighborhood. "where's the pony, mommy!?!" i, personally, think esther and tim are saints for taking 500 photos, including the ones here, of who knows how many kids. incredible!

cousins of sorts, addi and grayson.

um...hello? can anyone say a-dor-able!?

more rock the pumpkin photos to come. it's just late now. and i need to go nigh-night. even the extra hour tonight isn't gonna be enough.

*i have no idea why my scanner is putting that ugly line down the middle of the photos. ghetto scanner.

grayson sings 'happy birthday.'

today is my dad's (ahem, 53rd, ahem) birthday. here is grayson's tribute:

(happy birthday, daddy! i love you. -sarah)