Turn on the light.

I think about this space a lot. And recently, as in no more than a few months ago, I was getting geared up to make a more concentrated effort to update here. It's not difficult, but Instagram from my phone is much faster. I don't have to pause the baby-chasing to do it.

But I need to pause the baby-chasing. Thoughts swirl, and I feel more "me" when I hash them out here. Even when what I think is "how did I get so many stellar children/how can I make sure I'm doing right by them" over and over again.

Landon is in Haiti. The house project is ongoing. We're living at David and DeLana's. My to-do list is 1,000 miles long, and I'm trying to stay contained in one bedroom with lots of piles that are supposed to be in the corners, but the corners are too small for my piles.

Lylah turns one in less than two weeks. Her party is at our new house. It may be atop half-finished floors, surrounded in construction dust. That's how my insides feel right now. Half-finished. Dusty.

Change does that to me. Even good change. It makes me feel raw and uneasy and needy.

Writing helps. So I'm going to do more. I must.