for such a time as this.

in a little more than 12 hours, i will start my first day of school. i will officially be a teacher. i have been needing to write about this for weeks, but the words haven't come. until now.

the last couple of weeks of inservice have been exciting, stressful, chaotic, scary, joyful, anticipatory and dozens of other adjectives. i am indescribably anxious for what tomorrow and the days that follow will hold.

several times in the past few days i've had a catch in my spirit as i've looked at ellie or grayson. the stirring has brought to mind that God has a plan. on one hand, the plan is to impact the community by educating and mentoring students -- to be a part of something that may historically mark san angelo for years to come. (oh, i'm so excited to get my figurative hands on those sweetie pie 6th graders! i am down right in love with the few i've already met.) on another hand, the plan is for me to develop into a effective, empathetic teacher, a calling i believe has been on my life since i was a little girl. and on an intimate hand, one deep inside my soul, God's plan is to show me His faithfulness, how He never stops working on my behalf.

i began thinking last night as i was lying in bed that this is something i've been praying for more than a year. it's the "for such a time as this" that i so desperately longed for during my study of esther -- the thing that would change my course.

i posted this on march 17, shortly after i finished studying esther. in the post i say:

"God has been showing off fancy in countless realms of my life in the past
several months, but there is one -- a very troubling, frustrating and scary one
-- that remains unsolved so far. up to this point, i have not heard from Him
regarding it."

the next day, the principal from ballinger -- the one who already knew he'd be moving to tlca -- called to offer me the long-term substitute position. logistically, the offer felt ridiculous, impossible. but the peace in my heart for it was overwhelming. if i has only known everything that would be set into motion to bring me to where i sit right now.

people, i am smack dab -- with all the chaotic, unknown insanity swirling on all sides of me -- in the middle of a miraculous answer to prayer.

how long has He had this plan in mind? since the beginning of time, that's how long. the day the the earth was set into motion, the King of the universe knew His perfect plan for my life. pulling myself out of the immediate and seeing the perfectly timed hand of my Father is going to be key this year. because all the glass cleaner in the world couldn't wash the fingerprints of God off of this chapter in my life.

it isn't going to be easy. i've already encountered several situations that i believe are the enemy's best attempts at scaring me away from "standing out for God in the classroom," as lennon said this morning at the end of worship. anger, fear and insecurity have welled up within me. i refuse to give in.

i am here for such a time as this.

what an honor. i am truly blessed.

praises to my ever-faithful, ever-wise, ever-perfect Father.

happy school year.