9 months.

i'm a bad mommy, and i didn't post a eight-month update. even this post is two days late.

my reason? i started "teaching" in your eighth month, baby gray. i've just now started breathing again. sorta. yes. teaching. i started working. which means i don't have you by my side every second of the day. which means i have to keep my mind very focused on why i'm working and not what i'm missing. because my heart is very fragile when i contemplate that you and your sister are smiling and laughing and crying hundreds of times during the day. because i'm missing it. i'm praying, that with God's increase on our efforts, your daddy and i will be able to smile ourselves when we know we've done our best to make a better life and future for you.


since i last updated, you've become a champ at sitting. you love to sit and play with ellie. you rarely topple over. you still haven't started crawling, but i can tell you're getting close. i can see it in your eyes. you're very strong, and you push up on your chubby little arms pretty far. i think you could crawl if you wanted to. you just don't wanna. you roll a lot still, and, of course, smile and giggle tons. your sweet, fat thighs are very ticklish. i love to pinch them. you got your first teeth and your first haircut in your eighth month. i posted about that here. you weigh 20 pounds, 7 ounces, just nine pounds less than your 27-month-old sister.

despite my working, we have been able to continue to nursing. you haven't had to have any formula. that is one reason i've been able to tolerate the transition. i pump a few times during the day, and you eat more solid food when you're at home with mamo, daddy or, your sweet babysitter, eowyn. you (and i) are happy to nurse when we're together in the evenings and on weekends. i am looking very forward to the summer. i pray fervently every day that my milk supply will stay up until then.

just about a week ago, you started sleeping through the night! holy cow. i was convinced that'd never happen. though i have cherished our nighttime cuddling, i have to admit it's been nice to sleep a few hours straight these past few days.

also, this weekend at susu's, you learned to pick up food and put it in your mouth. we have been feeding you your beloved puffs. you would grab a whole pile in your fist and squeeze them to mush, unable to get any to your mouth without help. but, with flax seed waffle bits, susu coaxed you into putting bites in your mouth yourself. so big!

i love you so much, my love. one of the sweetest moments i remember this month is one evening when i'd dozed off on the couch. we were all in the living room, you and ellie playing on the floor, daddy watching tv. i opened my eyes to your perfect little face looking at mine. you looked right at me and said, "mama...mama...mama." a coincidence? maybe. but, oh, how my heart swelled.

i am your mommy, little one. and you are my son. man, did i get the best end of that deal.

happy nine months, grayson reed.