the sonogram story takes an unexpected turn.

as we sat in the waiting room this afternoon, landon was still acting like i was crazy to discuss whether we'd find out whether or baby was a boy or a girl. it's just i couldn't help but discuss because of this super mischievous grin he's been wearing for the past few days. we went into the ultrasound room with the tech, a large black man named troy. he was fantastic. very descriptive of everything we were looking at and what it should look like. he asked us if we wanted to find out if it was a boy or girl. i looked at landon. "ask him." long pause. "yeah."

what?!?

i grabbed his hand as tears overwhelmed me. we saw all four chambers of the heart, the spine from several angles, hands, arms, legs, knees, kidneys, stomach, nose, eyes, lips, ears. the heartbeat was 150 bpm. it was a wonderful sonogram. everything was very detailed -- down to individual bones. the head was down and the feet were up, crossed at the ankles. prime position for determining gender...

troy slid his instrument expertly across my jelly-covered belly until we were looking at the underside of our cross-legged baby.

"oh," he said. "i can definitely tell what it is."

"i can definitely tell what it is," i said, tears forming again. "can you, baby?"

as landon looked, troy said, "this is most definitely a boy."

i have never seen landon grin as big. he grinned and grinned as he kissed my hand he held in his over and over and over.

look at my most beautiful son. at my daughter's little brother. he is perfection embodied, even in his tininess.

profile.

boy-ness.

as we drove off, completely high on joy, landon said, "let's buy a steak to celebrate!" silence and sideways glances. "or a couple of diet dr. peppers with the change we have in the cup holder!" lots of laughing and yummy dr. peppers ensued.

love it. love my husband. love my son. love my daughter. love life. love it all.

thank you, Jesus for your ever-abounding blessing. i cannot comprehend what i did to deserve such a life.