Aiming for progress, not perfection.

"...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you
will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Philippians 1:6

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

i contradict myself today.

i am happy. i am sad. i am excited. i am nervous. i am nostalgic. i am forward-looking. i am energized. i am tired. i am passionate. i am uninterested. i am motivated. i am lazy. i am trusting. i am skeptical. i am confident. i am scared. i am strong. i am weak. i am hungry. i am full. i am satisfied. i am not.


i'm trying to decide whether to go to san angelo this weekend. my car is making a funny noise, and i'm sort of nervous to drive it 4.5 hours by myself with the baby. i really want to go hang out with kylah and david and delana and everyone. i know delana is about to die for lack of ellie love.

i dunno what to do.


i could listen to nichole nordeman's "i am" 53 times in row, and i'd still cry at the end when she swells to, "Creator, Maker, Life Sustainer, Comforter, Healer, my Redeemer, Lord and King, Beginning and the End."


i love james taylor.


i had christina's tortilla soup for lunch, and i love that too.


having a leather couch enables me to see just how often spit up and other milk-based dribble ends up on our favorite seating option. this experience has me convinced that i will never buy a couch that i cannot wipe clean with a wet rag.


i wanted to make cookies tonight, but i didn't have all the ingredients for any of my recipes. i didn't want to go to the store.


scott and kelly are in st. thomas. i'm jealous. their wedding was so beautiful. if you were at my wedding, you may remember the breeze that blew as landon and i were saying our vows. we were under a canopy of trees and leaves fluttered down as it appeared God was breathing his audible approval. well, at the same time during scott and kelly's ceremony, there was the dull roll of thunder. just in that moment.



this is how i tend to blog when i know there is something inside me that needs to get out. but it can't. i'm not sure if it's helpful or not.

it's highly unsatisfying, but maybe the process of typing letters into white space aids in the eventual working out of my thoughts.


do any of the rest of you check for comments starting about five minutes after you post? or is that just me?


beautiful chaos said...

How funny - yes - I do tend to check for comments - and I noticed that you changed the name of your post after you posted it...
I just love you. I wish I had a hearty batch of cookies to give you - but if you come this weekend... You can bet on it!

kj said...

oh good one, A. maybe you should temp her with your brownies.

i love this blog. so very telling to all the little details going on in your brain right now. love it! love the pics of ellie.

and, yes, if you must know. i always check for comments. what's funny is there usually is a comment within the first five minutes. have you ever posted, viewed your blog, make the corrections, looked at someone else's blog and then went back to your own and there was a comment waiting on you? that's fun. especially becaue you know someone else is doing that very same thing at that very same moment, however...with this group you can pretty much count on that! ;)

kdp said...

i love that song by nicole nordeman.

i also Love james taylor.

yes i do check for comments quickly after i post, so you are not alone.