blah.

i'm at home right now. i stay home on friday mornings until landon gets off at noonish to take over childcare duties. then i go to an editorial meeting and work the rest of the day.

i don't know if it's because it's cloudy. or because my house is so messy. or because landon's going to be gone part of this weekend for a funeral. or because it's 100 percent sure that i won't get a teaching job this year. or...what. but i am not feeling well.

i need to pay some bills. paying bills is boring.

i really want to make chocolate chip cookies. maybe that will help my mood. thing is, i have to clean the kitchen in order to make room to make cookies. and then i will have to clean it again. it's probably worth it. i just have negative motivation to do anything but lay in my bed today. i don't know what my deal is.

i guess i better stop complaining and do something.

my fabulous husband got up this morning and closed the door so softly that i didn't hear. he got up at the first peep from ellie and fed her and changed her and set her to watch her morning session of praise baby. that was at 8. i didn't have to get out of bed until 9. oh, he is wonderful.

the deal was that i'd clean the house LAST night if he'd get up with the baby and let me sleep. yeah, i didn't clean last night. but he still held up his end of the deal, the sweetie.

so..i should make some effort.

it's just that i feel sad. i felt sad yesterday too. and probably have for at least a week or so. i don't know what it is. maybe it's just that weird, beginning of school/transitional thing that always makes you feel strange inside.

who knows.

chocolate chip cookies oughta help, right?