Aiming for progress, not perfection.

"...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you
will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Philippians 1:6

Monday, July 02, 2007

late.

i have two stories to write, and it's two minutes to one. they won't be hard to write if i could just get started. thought maybe a blog here would get the creative juices flowing.

i should've written them before now, but i've been feeling sick all weekend. something i ate friday night (i think) didn't agree with me, and my tummy has been mad ever since.

unrelated to the tummy, i'm still feeling blah. i'm at a stalemate. i think i've found clarity and peace, but then i get scared. i do think it means something that i feel the peace and clarity when i'm worshiping or praying. but as soon as i stop, my brain starts to work on it's own -- forgetting to remember God's great ability -- and i get scared.

then i wonder, "am i making up this peace and clarity because that's how i want it to be? am i just too lazy to make the other way work? am i making a huge mistake?"

i told you. blah.

the other reason this late night sucks is because i have a dentist appointment at 7:30 a.m. i have to get up in five and a half hours, and i'm not going to bed yet.

i hate the dentist.

there is one thing i'm clinging to in this time of uncertainty and disorientation.

i said it to landon earlier today.

"whenever you've been in a hard place in your life, do you find comfort knowing a testimony is being written?"

that's what i feel like.

right now, this sucks.

but when i'm on the other side looking back, i will have a story to tell.

thankfully, because i know He has plans for me, i know it will have a happy ending.

1 comment:

no_iffer said...

I am praying for you, Sarah. While I don't know the specifics of what you are going through, I definitely sense and understand how unsettled you must feel. I know that you are seeking God's will in this situation and he will reveal his perfect plan to you in his timing. That's kind of the irritating part. His timing is not often ours but it usually is so much better at the end. And I really believe that when you are seeking his will as passionately as you are, His plan will unfold and you will know that its his, not yours. It may not be the one you wanted, but he will make you feel great about it. I mean, if he can give me such peace about teaching, he will certainly give you peace in your situation as well. I know it.

Just keep trusting and waiting. It will work out and you're right, the testimony will be amazing.

I should have just emailed you. :)