from where i sit.

i'm currently occupying a seat in the waiting room -- well, at the free internet terminal -- at the presbyterian plano center for diagnostics and surgery.

my mom is in the first stage recovery room after having had a lumpectomy.

in another 30 minutes or so we'll get to go see her.

there are lots of people here. gramma, grampa, laura, scott, landon, ellie, george, andrea, abe, cindy, erin and i were here to send her into surgery with a prayer.

travis came as soon as he was out of summer school, and david and delana are here now too.

gramma, laura and scott just came back from having talked to the surgeon. she said mom did great, and is waking up a little now. she said she took two lymph nodes to be sent for a biopsy, and we'll know those results in a few days. those will most likely determine the course for chemo and radiation after mom heals from the surgery.

since i found out mom had breast cancer (i think that's the first official time i've said that on this blog), i've been trying to think of what to write about it on here.

i've started several times, but always erased my attempts.

i just can't get the words.

i still can't.

all i can say for sure is what i texted landon last night:

"baby, my heart is troubled."