it didn't help.
kylah emailed me, and hit the nail on the head. i didn't even mention it in my previous post, but it's not so much the nourishment for ellie that i'd miss if she stopped breastfeeding, though that is a big deal.
it'd be the connection. the thought that all those precious rolls on her tiny body were not created by me. the knowledge that this is the first step in a future of many that will pave her path away from needing me.
and this afternoon, that hurts.
i'm still sad. worse even, at the concrete statement of the truth.