today, it's a less-than-flat tummy (always, always, always), the cowlick on the back of my head that gives me an eternal flat spot in my hair and blindingly pale legs in my first tightless/leggingless skirt of the season. oh, and i see spider veins in my legs. you'd have to be on top of my leg to see them, but i can see them. all too clearly. my own personal neon sign of imperfection.
we have a family photo shoot coming up, and, as always, i am anxiety-ridden. i just know that i will look fat, dorky and ridiculous. honestly, i would rather just have pictures made of the kids because then i don't have to endure the stress.
i waste so much energy on this kind of thing. i really do. and i am doing such a disservice to hone in on a silly cowlick, of all things, instead of looking at myself as a whole, a work in progress inside and out. it's a disservice to myself, to my children, to my husband and to God. thinking this way brings about despair, which brings about poor choices and wasted time. a vicious cycle.
i am tired of wasting time.
through my most recent play with fashion, i've found several style bloggers that feature attainable ensembles in terms of budget and body shape. i love them! on one in particular, i saw a post with an "already pretty" poll. the blogger posted her five favorite things about her body and invited her readers to do the same in the comments.
i am going to copy her.
i want to stop focusing on the imperfect. because it's not going away. instead, i will focus on the things i like about my body, the things it can do. i have been and will continue to focus on working toward practices that aid in my appreciation for this temple i have been given by God, practical ways of taking care of it.
ultimately, it's not about body love, but body acceptance and respect so that i can be free to focus on what's important. because spending hours staring at my flaws is not important. it's causing me to miss what's important. and that's not cool.
so, without further ado, my "already pretty" list:
1.) my body can carry and nurture children. it is an undertaking that is not without scars, but what could be more beautiful than a body that can sustain another body?
2.) my eyelashes are long and dark.
3.) my ankles are slender, and i like the way most any shoe looks on my foot.
4.) i can rock short hair confidently.
5.) my hands work hard for me while still being lovely. i can use them to type super fast, hold my husband's hand, bake, change diapers, display pretty rings, touch soft baby skin, express emotion while talking, cover my face for laughing so hard, wipe away tears -- mine and anyone else's, and, this is my favorite, raise in praise to my Jesus.
won't you play along? tell me your "already pretty" list.