i was literally hoping for a fever yesterday as i drove to walgreens to buy a new thermometer. the one i already had kept reading 97.8, and that couldn't be right. achy, exhausted and downright sick, i wanted a fever to validate my pain. a fever would legitimize staying home and hiding under the covers.
at walgreens, all the cheap thermometers were gone. the cheapest one was $15. "that's fine," i thought. "at least i know it's a quality piece of equipment. and surely it'll read that i have a fever."
i bought it, along with a bag of mellowcreme pumpkins, and took it to the car. if it was a fever, i was going to drive my miserable self to the school to get my sub folder ready. if it wasn't, i was going to suck it up and just stop at heb to buy my milk monster (aka grayson) more milk.
i unwrapped my new sick stick, stuck it under my tongue and closed my eyes. thirty seconds later, "beep, beep, beep."
stupid thing must be broken. that or i'm officially owner of the worst cold on the planet.