scared to and of death.

does a blog die? can it have been too long since i regularly updated this? is it going to be too late to start up again once i have some way to do it? does anyone even check any more?

i am literally crying at landon's desk at the church because i miss my blog. and i feel like it's dead. i feel like i won't get it back. it's been so long.

and what if i do get a computer and then i still can't get back in the swing? i feel like i hardly have time to breath. is not having a computer the only problem? or is my brain so filled with SCHOOL that i won't be able to think of what to blog anyway? i don't even have any pictures to post of my kids because i'm NEVER WITH THEM. this blog is supposed to be my BABY book. it's what's documenting my children's lives. and i'm NOT DOING IT.

i'm failing.

the blog is dying.

somebody teach me cpr. can i give cpr and cry at the same time?

toothy.

real life in our henry home: messy hair and lots of toothy grins.

ohmygoshhi!!!!!!

if i had ANY access to a computer whatsoever, you'd see my tragically broken heart splashed on your screen. i miss my blog life and friends! a certain computer, ahem, is typically blocked from anything interesting. and we...have...no...computer...at...home. ah! i am counting the DAYS until i get a paycheck. forget credit card bills. forget school loans. we can eat ramen and wash the dishes in rainwater, right? i'm getting a computer!

for some reason, the block has been lifted on the "certain" computer for the time being. if i can find some time, i'll write something legit. for now, know a day never passes that i don't think of you.

i SHALL return!

confirmed.

sixth graders with strands of wet hair plastered to their preteen foreheads, run, yelping, for hugs along the sidelines of the rained out football game. violent vacillations between frustration and anger and hopelessness and despair dissipate as my heart melts.

and "for such a time as this" is confirmed.