day 5.

today is my first day alone with both kids. landon is at work, and all my family has gone home. it's going pretty well so far. it seemed i was running non-stop until noon, and the only things i can think of that i accomplished were getting a five minute shower and getting ellie bathed.

grayson is so incredibly precious. he's super skinny and strong -- wiry, i like to say. he hates to have his diaper changed and has this super sweet cry. his cry sounds like he's sad. i remember ellie's cry sounding more like she'd order a hit on you if she could. he's eating like a champ and sleeping pretty well too. the last two nights he's eaten about every two hours, but he goes right back to sleep. i can handle that. i love to touch his soft hair and his long feet and toes. he's had his eyes open a little bit more lately. he always has a very intense look on his face.

here are updates on two hot topics on day 5 of grayson's life:

nursing:

holy smokes. talk about sore. ellie had trouble latching on and we used a shield during the early days so i never got this sore. grayson has NO trouble latching on; he's eaten like a piglet since he emerged from the birth canal. for the past couple of days i have been in some serious pain at the beginning of each feeding. but all my information says the soreness should only last a few days, and, by golly, i am feeling tons and tons better today.

on gray's side of the meal, as it were, he seems to be eating quite well. starting sunday, however, when my milk was good and in, he started spitting up after each side -- if you can call it spitting up. this is not just a little dribble out the corner of his mouth. he is shooting the stuff up. and it rather large quantities. reflux has crossed my mind except that he doesn't appear to be in any pain whatsoever. also, my mom said i spit up like that as a baby. ellie spit up like clockwork after every feeding, but it was not this much or this intense. i guess i'm just going to settle in for lots of laundry and not worry as long as he doesn't appear to be bothered by it. one thing i tried last night and so far this morning is feeding him for only five minutes on each side. he feeds a little more often (every two hours) this way, but it seems that he doesn't get as full and therefore doesn't spit as much if i limit his intake a little. my milk is literally overflowing, and i don't think he knows when his little belly is too full.

ellie:

big sister has been pretty needy since grayson was born, but i think she's getting used to him. she excitedly exclaims, "baby!" any time she sees him and brings him peace offerings every now and then. yesterday while i was nursing him, she brought him a stuffed animal. another time, when he was crying, she offered him a goldfish. she likes to kiss him, but we've yet to get a brother-sister photo 'cause it's only quick kisses and she's done. if you try to help her hold him she shoves him away. i think she's going to be fine though. we're being very diligent about including her and loving on her a whole bunch and not scolding her unnecessarily. she's still a baby herself so she needs a little time. every time i go to put her to bed, i hold her for a few minutes before i lay her down. her body that really seemed so small a few days ago seems so big and solid now. but her chubby little arms draped over my shoulders and her sweet face resting against my cheek makes me cry every time. yes, every time i've put her to bed since her brother was born, i cry. i cry and thank jesus for the amazing children he's blessed me with. it's overwhelming. they are so wonderful.

other little stuff:

• food tastes so good. especially snacks from the pantry and homemade meals. real food.
• gray has some jaundice, but he's in the low-risk zone so he should be fine.
• besides sleepiness and sore girls, i'm not really feeling much physical pain related to delivering a baby. it really was quite easy comparably speaking.

this might be the strangest blog post format in history. talk about random.