when i should be sleeping.

it seems like everyone has been slacking on blogging lately. at least a little. i think it's 'cause it's the end of school. that applies to me because i'm watching casen for only nine more days. i'm getting sad. but i'm not going to apologize for my lack of (meaningful) blogging since it seems to be a common issue in this circle. just wanted to make sure you know i know i'm slacking. or something.

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we had a baby shower here on saturday for christal and baby addi. i think it went quite well, despite the fact that it rained and it was a garden shower. it was just a little shower - ha! - so i don't think it dampened (boy, i'm full of them) our fun too much. i was quite proud of our shower team. i think we did the best job thus far on judging food and cake portions. we did have a large amount of pomegranate-peach and mango lemonade left over. but besides that, the leftovers were minimal. quite the miracle, i'll tell you.

post-shower thoughts: 1.) i really hope i don't let my plants die now that no one is going to be seeing them at any formal gatherings and 2.) i CANNOT WAIT for addi to get here. it will be so soon. i just wanna see her pretty face.

i told myself i was going to be more maintenance-minded when it came to cleaning for this shower. you know, so i wasn't up until 2 a.m. the night before. well, i cannot shake my obsession with pushing the deadline, apparently. i was up until 2 on friday (saturday morning), and my back and feet are still speaking to me sternly about it.

after the shower, we had a girls' night. it was the greatest. good movie. good friends. good conversation. just what the doctor ordered.

***

i do only have casen for nine more days, and that does make me sad. but i also think it will be a nice 2.5 months to have ellie alone before gray arrives. i think watching casen has has quite a few positive effects on my life, not to mention the extra cash and the fact that he's got the cutest laugh and flirty face ever. i think it's helped me see that, even though it's hard, i am capable of caring for two children at once. yes, i realize that having one 24/7 that i have to nurse and recover from birthing and stay up with all night will be different. but it's at least given me a taste. and not only has it given me a taste, it's given ellie a taste. she really wants to sit in your lap EVERY TIME you change the baby's diaper, which is quite inconvenient, but other than that, she's not shown very much jealousy. we'll also have to keep working on being gentle and not stealing blankets, bottles, pacifiers, etc. when mommy is not there to watch like a hawk. but i really think she, like millions of other first-born children, will not pack up and move out when her younger sibling arrives. and finally, casen has helped me realize how much work it will be to have two children. and the 2.5 months i have left with just ellie will be cherished all the more, i do believe. i'm planning quite a bit of park, pool, mommy-loves-you-so-much time. and we'll move her from her room to the much bigger extra room. i'm super attached to rooms for some odd reason, so i'm pretty sure i'll more more traumatized than she will with the big-girl room transition.

***

grayson is growing like a weed and kicking like pele, let me tell you. i'll be 28 weeks this week, and everything is going along as it should. i'm having an equally boring pregnancy this time around, which i know is the goal for all pregnant women. gray kicks at all hours of the day and night, something his sister didn't do. she was much more scheduled in her activity; he kicks constantly. i wonder if this is telling of their personalities. i guess we'll see. i still have no idea what his middle name will be, and it's so funny how i'm not in that big of a hurry to figure it out. with ellie, it was a constant point of discussion. naming conversations did not cease until a decision was made. this time, i randomly remember that my kid doesn't have a middle name yet. "hmm.. i wonder what we'll decide.." so funny. landon and i were joking a couple weeks ago about how obsessive i was about ellie's nursery. oh, how i pondered and planned. for gray, i looked at a few things, found one i liked (that is very affordable) and haven't looked back. poor gray. i don't think he'll be half as fussed over as ellie was and will likely continue to be. i can see it unfolding now...ellie is throwing a crazy temper tantrum in target while gray looks idly on. "what the heck is her problem?" he'll wonder in his laid-back, baby mind. or i could be dead wrong. it's fun to imagine though. all i know is i love him so much already. a photographer from ge told me the other day while we were getting ellie's picture taken: "you'll never love another man the same way you love your son." i can only imagine how true that is.

***

OK. i could keep rambling, but i should go to bed. this is why i haven't blogged. i have no coherent thoughts. only ramble.

but what more can you ask from a pregnant woman?