someone bid!

someone bid on one of my listings on ebay! three other people are watching it, and the auction doesn't end until monday. i'm so excited. there are three people watching the changing pad cover i put on last night and one person each watching two other items. this might actually work! if nothing else, i'll be getting rid of some of my junk. : )

i like this furniture better.

today delana helped me discover this furniture for grayson's room. i like it better than what i posted last time i posted about this. it's about the same price-wise, maybe a little more, but it's much better quality. these things are from j.c. penny as opposed to wal-mart and target.

the glider would be covered in the fabric shown in the swatch. it's called java. i love that texture! wouldn't it be so cute with colored pillows on it?

the bedding favorite remains - circles by dwell studio from target.

(i know this is boring the living daylights out of you, but i'm pumped.)

(angela, are you still up for painting? 'cause i do believe we're moving closer to taking that step.)

because our emergency fund needs funding.

i just listed four items on ebay. they are all boutique/nice quality maternity clothes that are listed at fairly low opening bids. two of them offer free shipping. three of them are items i purchased on ebay but am not 100 percent in love with. one of them is a new skirt from babystyle that has a tag that shows it to cost $58. i bought it at the willow bend store at a closing sale this weekend for 90 percent off. because of the closeout, there was no way to try anything, and it doesn't fit quite right.

i mentioned a garage sale on here some time ago, and i do believe i plan to have one the last weekend in may. but i thought i'd try my hand at the ebay thing since a lot of the stuff i have to get rid of is clothing. and a lot of that clothing is name brand (banana republic, j. crew, nordstrom, etc. etc.) from my earlier, unmarried (read: dad was still buying my stuff) days. i figure it'd be worth it if i can make an average of $5 on a piece instead of 50 cents that i'd get at a garage sale.

we'll see. i'll only list the best stuff on ebay so there will certainly be plenty for a garage sale.

every little bit helps, right?

is it ridiculous..

...that finding a stamp that coordinates with an invitation or card i'm creating makes me so incredibly excited?

apparently...

...liquid, leaking baby diapers are a requirement when said baby is wearing white shorts.

this is a trend.

???

ellie loves praise baby. still. and casen too.

23 weeks.

not that this means anything to anyone since there are no belly pictures prior to 23 weeks, but i had a request. so here you go. we are most certainly forgoing the bare belly pictures this time around. lord, have mercy, you do not want that at all. can anyone say, "stretch marks?" yeah. anyway... the most profound difference to me this time around is how much lower he seems to be. do you see all that space between my belly and my boobs? i swear ellie was waay higher. even at this stage, there was not that much space. another hint than i'm carrying lower this time is underbelly pants are a disaster. it's because there is exactly 2.5 inches of space between the bottom of my belly and the place where the crotch of my pants should sit. the cause is severe sagging of pants. and no one wants to see a pregnant girl's crack. i've found myself much more comfortable, though infinately more dorky, in maternity pants that go up above my belly. so.. yeah. 23 weeks.

why does my heritage have to cry in the middle of the night? every...single...night.

after a rough night of family matters (read: a child who refuses to sleep through the night, though she is 14 months old), the only thing i could bring myself to do this morning so far is pout.

then i decided to do my bible study. grudgingly.

lo and behold, the lesson was on psalm 127.

"if God doesn't build the house, the builders only build shacks.
if God doesn't guard the city,
the night watchman might as well nap.
it's useless to rise early and go to bed late,
and work your worried fingers to the bone.
don't you know He enjoys
giving rest to those he loves?
don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
like a warrior's fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.
oh, how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!
your enemies don't stand a chance against you;
you'll sweep them right off your doorstep."

the theme is family & children, obviously. how sickeningly appropriate.

interestingly, beth moore (the author) points out that she doesn't believe that the psalm applies only to blood "children" to those of us who are in Christ. she uses several new testament references that show paul and Jesus referring to fellow believers as family as much as any other.

either way, it applies to me.

and either way, it was a not-so-subtle call (He forwent whispers this morning, apparently) to look at my family the way He asks me to look at it -- as a great heritage from Him. i believe it was also a a call to realize that i need the Ultimate Home Improvement Man to remodel my house or else it will suck, no matter how hard i try. or whine. or cry.

nothing like a good punch in the mouth from God to start your thursday, i always say.

grayson's nursery.

this bedding is called 'circles.' it's from target. i love it. the crib that doesn't have the bedding in it is the one i love. the all dark wood one. not the one with white included. also, i'm thinking, inspired by the turtle pillow and zebra rug that are already a part of the 'circles' collection, of including a subtle animal theme in the room. just like this tall stuffed giraffe. and maybe one of these piggy banks from pottery barn. ellie has a subtle bug theme in her room. a subtle animal theme could be good for grayson. also i MUST have this poster print of the abc's with the letters 'l,' 'o,' 'v' and 'e' highlighted. the colors are perfect. SO cute.

thoughts?

just how far.

my senior year in high school, i was in the musical "Jesus Christ superstar."

i played the adulteress woman whom Jesus rescues from an angry mob set to stone her.

at the time, i most certainly did not catch the overwhelmingly blatant message the Lord was trying to send me by allowing me to act this part. i can remember feeling touched by it, but i had no concept of how it related to my life. talk about blind. it couldn't get more obvious.

"the teachers of the law and the pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. they made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, 'Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. in the law moses commanded us to stone such women. now what do you say?' they were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing Him. but Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. when they kept on questioning Him, He straightened up and said to them, 'if any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.'" -john 8:3-7

at that time in my life, i was lost on a search for significance and acceptance, and the degree to which I strayed off course - in the all-wrong direction - is not even calculable. the journey delivered me to the polar opposite of the desired destination.

but that's not exactly what this post is about.

this post is about what Jesus said to that woman after the famous "if any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her" speech.

after the mob leaves, one-by-one, He said to her, "woman, where are they? has no one condemned you? ...then neither do I condemn you. go now and leave your life of sin." -john 8:10-11

i was rocking ellie this morning right after she woke up, and i experienced one of those wonderful moments when the Lord whispers, gently revealing something beautiful and oh-so-quietly life-altering. He did it using this story and its very personal relationship to my life.

you see, i've been struggling lately with thoughts of stupid things i've done. i'm talking about things i did a long time ago for which i've asked forgiveness and for which i am fully aware, in my mind, at least, that i've received the requested pardon.

for some reason, however, these nagging thoughts are keeping me awake at night lately, stealing my peace and my joy. quite honestly, they're making tense with fear that i'm going to be repaid in some way for these sins i committed years ago.

but this morning, as i was rocking ellie, Jesus said, "what did I say to that woman? I told her to go and sin no more. through Me, she was capable of that. so are you. and through Me you are redeemed and perfectly forgiven. no questions asked, no payback to fear."

i realized this morning that Jesus truly believed that adulteress would go and leave her life of sin. why wouldn't He believe that? she'd been lavished with grace and mercy by the Savior of the world. her heart had been changed.

while i will always struggle with feelings of self-doubt and lower-than-average self-worth, my heart has been changed. the One who saved and forgave that adulteress saved and forgave this adulteress. for free. He's not waiting to pay me back. He not only forgave me, but He took my payback, my painful, bloody, utterly horrific payback. and now, He's protecting me to boot.

why would He have done that if i was meant to be tormented by my past?

with one of my sweetest blessings sitting sleepily on my lap that is already shrinking under the growth of another one of my sweetest blessings, the Lord whispered:

"...as far as the east is from the west, so far have I removed your transgressions from you." -psalm 103:12

budgeting.

budgeting is exhausting. i am rather obsessed right now, but honestly. every time i sit down to look at something, i realize 42 differences from the last time i wrote the perfect, balanced budget. (is there really such a thing?) so then i have to redo everything. it's like i'm redoing it every day. what good does that do me? i'm hoping that once we're caught up, it will run easier.

i don't think i ever posted about how i found out God is apparently on board (along with the rest of you) with dave ramsey and the debt snowball. remember how i posted that day that we'd use any tax return money to pay off some major stuff? well, our tax return money, along with extra from the economic stimulus package (i learned the official term from my fabulous cpa...) is totaling, wait for it, $5,000.

um. holy crap. or praise the Lord. or both.

that amount does not get us out, but it puts us on our way with a TREMENDOUS amount of momentum and excitement. ever since i found out, i have been obsessing over that stupid budget. there is not a penny that has not been designated for a purpose.

funny thing, my budget does not have us eating on $5 a week and pouring the rest into debt. we have decent money for food (eating out and in), clothes, gifts, spending, entertainment, etc. no, it's not a lot. but, with the right perspective, it's enough to be enjoyed. and all the while, we're chipping away at debt.

goes to show you what being a good steward can do, huh? just keep track of things and the money will go where you tell it.

and though it seems that every time i have everything just right, something else arises, i've also noticed that several times in this process, i've made mistakes on my behalf. as in, there is extra money within my budget that i missed.

i believe that is the Lord showing me the blessing He has and will continue to pour out if i would only open my eyes.

He has provided plenty - more than i could have ever imagined.

you know what's sexy?

watching your husband mow and edge the lawn on his day off.

really sexy.

because i'm eating directly from the rainbow sherbet tub.

yeah. that's why i decided to write. i have a few random thoughts rolling around in my head, but nothing was just popping out as great blog material. but in order to stop the sherbet madness, i opened a blank post. must otherwise occupy hands.

so.. what to say, what to say.

bible study was awesome today. i'll admit i'm behind on the homework, but the video sessions are wonderful, not to mention chock-full of insight and revelation, regardless of if you're homework is done. attendance was low tonight since we've had the last two weeks off, but the experience was wonderful as usual. just sitting in a roomful of women who want more of Jesus - even if that's the only thing we have in common - is just so overwhelmingly uplifting. it was challenging on many levels. in a nutshell, i felt a call to stop being only sweetly moved by the idea of going to the next level with Jesus and actually go there.

ellie fell asleep on the way home from church. that was at 8:30. this is the child who normally goes to bed at 10 unless i force her to go before. she's still sleeping soundly now.

my tummy is a little achy from all the sherbet now.

landon mowed our yard and david and delana's yard on friday. well, he only had time to do our front yard. it's a lot of grass. and the edging took forever since it was the first mow of the season. i'm really thankful to him because he's agreed to mow david and delana's lawn each week to pay off one of our debts. what a faithful, hardworking husband.

i was blessed by something he suggested after he mowed too. "i think we should get a couple lawn chairs, and after i mow each friday, we should sit and drink cold diet dr. peppers, watch ellie play and admire the lawn," he said. i'm such a quality time girl, and suggestions like that make me melt.

i was also blessed by all your encouraging comments on my "snowball" post. i've felt "inspired" to attack the debt several times, but the inspiration rarely remains after a few days. "maybe next month," i always think. but i really feel like we're on the cusp of major difference-making. i think that has large part to do with your prayers and positivity. thank you.

mmm, let's see what else.

definitely achy.

i really should go to bed now since it's nearly 10, and tomorrow's a workday. but landon is still playing basketball, and i hate going to bed alone. i'm totally not the center-of-attention, life-of-the-party girl, but i am immeasurably blessed by the companionship of the one my heart loves.

i hope he comes home soon.

i'm sorry for this terribly dull post.

at least it served its purpose: saving my belly from any further, sure-to-give-me-heartburn, sherbet goodness.

doing nothing: not only better, but necessary.

i get on to myself a lot for not doing more housework since i am a stay-at-home mom and all. it seems like i ought to be able to get something done besides watching children.

today, i don't really have a choice. i'm having a get-together at my house tonight, and it needs cleaning. so i'm cleaning. ellie is wandering around. and is apparently in mortal danger if i'm not watching her constantly.

so far today she has:

• sat on my open dishwasher and pulled it out of the wall.
• poked herself with a nail i didn't know was sticking out of the garage door.
• stuck her finger in a candle flame.
• carried a bottle of kitchen cleaner around for five minutes before i noticed.
• nearly walked off the back steps unattended.
• climbed the step stool angela gave her, threatening to jump off and break something.
• got her finger smashed in a cabinet - twice.

word cloud.

a site called snapshirts.com has a program that scans your blog for words and assembles this word cloud.

larger words are ones that occur more often throughout your site. cool, huh?

snowball stuff.

have you read dave ramsey's "total money makeover?" i have. a few times. i've understood the debt snowball concept, but i've never calculated it out with our debt. i did last night.

woah.

first of all, we have much too much of that nasty stuff.

second of all, we could pay out of it rather quickly (18-to-24 months before landon's school loan, 36 months with the school loan) without a super dramatic lifestyle change. sure, it would take discipline. but we're talking the location of $120-$220 extra in our budget. that's not that horrible, is it?

and we could get crazy and do it in less time. way less time if we adopted "gazelle-like intensity," throwing every extra dollar at the monster and sacrificing more than we thought possible.

i think we're going to use any tax return money and the economy-booster-thingy money to get current on a few ancient and forgotten unpaid-because-we-were-young-and-stupid speeding tickets that have popped up lately and get our emergency fund in place. then we're gonna start the snowball rolling.

i really believe that we're going to do it.

the thought of being completely debt free at age 31 and 28 is too appealing to ignore this proven concept for any longer. and the idea of getting a decent interest rate on a mortgage for a house we really like a year before that (that's fall '09 - only the school loan to go) is a goal just within grasp.

plus i'd be way proud of us. i think Jesus would be too.

pray?

"the rich rules over the poor, and the borrower becomes the lender's slave." -proverbs 22:7

"let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another." -romans 13:8