Aiming for progress, not perfection.

"...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you
will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Philippians 1:6

Monday, January 14, 2008

insomnia.

it's 2:23 a.m., and i'm awake.

for some reason, i can't sleep. and i've been sitting at this computer since midnight, feeling sorta sad. the middle of the night is just depressing. even if i shouldn't be able to think of specific reasons to be sad or depressed, i can in the middle of the night.

i was about to give up and go to bed a little while ago - i had looked and looked again at every website i could come up with and googled several ridiculous combinations of words related to pregnancy - when i came upon this.

i realize the topics of most of these segments are fodder for intense political debate. but disregarding the fact that i don't even know exactly where i stand on several of them, i have one clarity after watching and listening to these heartbreaking vignettes.

that is that i have more to be thankful about than one woman could ever hope for in her lifetime.

it's as simple as that. my home is safe and rent is being paid, my baby is asleep and healthy, another grows warm in my belly and my loving, precious husband makes it his duty to provide for us and love us as well as win souls for the kingdom.

my heart breaks for those who endure suffering as do those in the story. i can never claim to understand their pain, but i do know Who does.

tonight, amid bountiful praises for the gifts in my life, i pray for them.

at the risk of sounding terrible, it seems almost silly to pray for their comfort. shallow. cruel even. like it's impossible.

but it can't be. God specializes in big things, right? He doesn't just soothe my silly emotional pains, right? He doesn't just encourage me that i can be a better wife and friend, right?

He died for the most despicable of sins, right? He was bruised and bled for the most horrible of ravaging diseases, right?

"come to Me, ALL you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. for My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

a simple "help them" is all i know to say.

help them, Lord.

and thank You so much.

2 comments:

marme said...

Weird. I was probably awake right along with you. Could'nt sleep either. I think I finally went to bed at 2. Hadn't even read your blog until after I blogged. Said the same thing about ellie's personality blossoming. We are just 2 peas in a pod. goodness. I can't believe it either. Time just flies when you're having fun!

Nanna's Place said...

must have been something in the air. I couldn't sleep either and was up at the same time, weird.....