if you know me well, it's no secret that if i had my druthers, i'd be staying home with ellie.
the result is often a bad attitude toward the need for me to work.
it manifests itself in all sorts of ways including, but not limited to, less-than-inspired effort, jealousy toward people who get to stay home or will when they have children and a sinking feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach when i contemplate anything related to the issue.
the situation is further complicated by the fact that i love my job. i love to write. and on top of that, a part of me feels i will have failed if i choose to stay home with ellie. like i will have wasted a gift.
well, last night at church God punked me.
pastor jesse was preaching about how "sin's power cannot be whipped by trying."
basically, we need the Holy Spirit in order to get anywhere in life because our efforts alone are not enough.
one thing he said stuck with me: "work today like you're working for the Master in heaven."
God spoke to my heart, saying, "I put you here for a reason. I have a mission for you. in order to accomplish that mission, you will have to be faithful. remember, you're working for Me. take it one step at a time. I would never lead you astray. someday, you will see how this will all work out."
the thought sent me to work this morning inspired anew.
working for people, for money, for advancement or for status allows me to fall short. in fact, it causes me to fall short.
working for Jesus encourages me with the knowledge that, by the Spirit, i will accomplish the mission laid before me in my job - no matter what it is - while at the same time allows me to greet each day with a fresh perspective, wondering, "where will He take me today?"
what a blessing to know that He'll always take me somewhere beyond my wildest dreams.
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2 comments:
if only i had heard this like 2 1/2 years ago! i've never even thought of it in this way. i've hated my job since i started and now it's over. i feel like i failed so miserably because i never put forth the effort.
now, i'm starting a new job. i'm so excited about it. your post gives me a new outlook. everytime my kids begin to drive me insane, i will come back to this.
i absolutely hate leaving jacob behind everyday. the only thing that makes it bearable is the job i have. being a teacher is so nice. i get to spend the entire summer with him. just the two of us. then during the school year, i cherish every minute i get to spend with him.
of course, things will change in a few months when another arrives. the plan is for me to keep working. we'll see how that works out!
i think this is the hardest decision a woman, mother has to face. it feels like a no win situation. i don't think it matters whether you are a young mother or an older mother. it is the most difficult decision i have ever made. it is easier now for me since my girls are in school with me.
but God showed me along time ago that God calls all women to different types of walks, even mothers of young children, because that is when it seems to be more of an issue. after struggling for sometime with this decision, even having a financial planner to come to our house and look through our finances to see if there was anyway i could stay home, he said for us to quit thying, aaahhhh we said no.
i decided that i would surrender the situation to Him, and if he brought an opportunity to me, i would jump. i think we need to encourage all women whether they stay home, or work. We are all a part of a sisterhood. We should be building each other up. sometimes i feel like we look down on each other out of jealousy of what the other has.
i had a friend come to me and tell me that she was finally o.k. with me working. i just looked at her and said, i'm glad for you, but i was at peace with it for a long time. i didn't really know i needed your approval. i have learned that the best way to live, is for an audience of one, THE ONE. Everyone is called to dance a different dance. Dance as if you are dancing just for the Lord. That is when real peace comes.
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