watching her sleep.

there's nothing like watching ellie sleep. is it like that for all mothers? for all parents?

there's just something satisfying about it.

it's like all is well with the world when the baby is asleep. not because i'm getting peace and quiet, which is nice too, but because, at that moment, she is 100 percent happy.

she isn't hungry. nothing is hurting her. she is comfortable and full. her body is recharging. she is relaxed.

i guess it's so wonderful to watch because that's what i always want for my baby.

i never want her to be hungry or to hurt. i want her to be comfortable and full and relaxed.

and then she wakes up.

and my dreams are dashed.