today, i am 31 weeks pregnant.
this means there are only nine weeks until my due date. and since my doctor will schedule an induction the day after my due date if i haven't started labor, i can pretty surely say we will have this baby in nine weeks or less. that being said, i'm not sure how i feel about inductions. it's something i've been wrestling with for my entire pregnancy. seems to me the baby should be allowed to come when she's darn good and ready. of course, several weeks late is dangerous and certainly not what i want for my ellie. but... a few days? a week? what's the harm? everyone tells me, "just wait until your closer. you'll be begging to be induced." i guess we'll see. for now, i reserve jugement.
last night we had our second child birthing class. we learned about epidurals and watched a video of a woman who goes through a 10-hour natural birth. it was elapsed somewhat, of course. this is another hot topic i have yet to make a concrete decision regarding. but last night put me at ease because i learned there isn't a time when it's "too late" to get an epidural. it seems everything i've heard has convinced me that i have to go in completely decided whether i want an epidural or not because after a point, there's no going back. but i asked jonie. and jonie said no. she said they've given epidurals after labor is over and mom is already on to pushing. so.. i feel better. i will likely go in with a "we'll see how this goes" decision. if i go quick and have the baby in five hours, i will try not to have an epidural. landon brought up a point that i never thought of. it's also probably a lot cheaper to skip the epidural. that wouldn't be our deciding factor, of course...i think.
and now for the feel-good-moment of the class. you knew there was one coming. we were sitting on the floor getting massages from our partners while we simulated early labor contractions with practiced breathing. landon was leaning against the wall, and i leaned back on him between his legs. he was softly rubbing my belly - on the sides where it feels like ellie's trying to push out - with his mouth right by my ear. he said, "i think God meant for us to sit this way." of course, tears immediately welled up my eyes. i said, "why?" he said, "because it just feels right."
man, i love him.
having a baby with you "just feels right," my love. everything does. what would i do without you?
Aiming for progress, not perfection.
"...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you
will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."