there ain't no way to hide your red-rimmed eyes.

i saw them. i was sitting right next to him, and i saw them.

after several mentions of, "i would like this class if it lasted an hour...not two and a half" before we got there, i saw them.

and it happened twice!

once when the instructor said the fact that we're carrying and will birth babies is nothing short of a miracle, and another time when we watched a real live baby being born.

sure, it was a little graphic. i thought so, too. but there's no way to escape the emotion that wells up when little cries of life escape a newborn's mouth for the first time.

not even he could escape it.

i saw those red-rimmed eyes. and there were tears in there, too.

***

last night we had our first child birthing class. i think it's going to be really great for us. for landon, it's helping him understand that he won't have to just stand there horrified while i scream for hours, unable to help. when our instructor was telling us the hospital rules about visitors, she said that dads could come and go as they please since they're a part of the team. landon whispered in my ear, "a team. we're a team." sweet, sweet husband. i don't know if he was thinking that way before. we learned that dads can help time contractions and massage moms through painful ones. i'm a big fan of that, let me tell you.

it was definitely a long class, but the two and a half hours didn't drag by any means. it's sort of crazy to be in a room with 20 other pregnant women. amazing and comforting. i think landon liked being around the dads too. we went for a bathroom break, and i lost him for 10 minutes. he was upstairs with two other guys looking for the coke machine. love it.

i can't wait for next week's class.

i can't wait until ellie comes.

i can't wait until landon is a dad. he's going to be so wonderful at it - red-rimmed eyes and all.