Aiming for progress, not perfection.

"...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you
will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Philippians 1:6

Monday, December 04, 2006

hormone surge at an all time high.

this weekend was great. my mother-in-law and sister-in-law were in town. we ran all around, getting bridesmaids dresses and invitations ordered. i had a baby shower at the church yesterday and got TONS of fantastic stuff while getting to hang out with my family and friends.

but last night, i was pretty worn out. my sister was over dropping something off, and i was starting to fall asleep around 11:45 on the couch. she had given me a foot massage (the second of the day!), and i think it did me in. she left, landon played a little more tiger woods and i passed out with doc cuddled beside me.

well, landon woke me up about 12:30 and told me to come to bed. i woke up totally disoriented and shivering uncontrollably. we didn't have the heat on because i'd be hot before. so it was fairly cold in the house since it was about 30 outside. not that bad though. it was the weirest thing because it was this violent shaking that i couldn't control. i didn't feel that cold, but i couldn't stop shaking. i was trying to take out my contacts, and i couldn't hold the solution and the case insync enough to get the job done. i must've been making terrible noises because landon kept saying, "are you OK? is it that bad? what's wrong?" i felt like i was going to collapse and every muscle in my body was rigid...including my belly.

then i was trying to climb into bed and my big, wood jewelry box was sitting there. right in my spot. landon had turned off the lights and was under the covers but left my jewelry box there. i said, "you didn't move this?" and it must have come out like i was about to die because he started to mock me. it sounded ridiculous.

so i started to laugh. i think. but it turned into, literally, 10 minutes of uncontrollable, loudly audible, wailing sobs. landon just had his hand on me, and was at a complete and utter loss as to what to do. i was sobbing like something extremely tragic had just happened. or like something really, really hurt. he kept saying, "what's wrong? calm down... does something hurt?" and all i could do was keep crying and saying, "i don't know."

i tried to stop a couple of times, but then i'd start up again. it's like i would think about how ridiculous i sounded, start to laugh and it would turn to the crying again.

it was unlike anything i've ever experienced.

after i calmed down, i passed out hard and never woke up until the alarm went off.

right before i went to sleep though, i said, "babe, i think i just had an unexplainable, pregnant lady, hormonal breakdown."

he said, "that's exactly what i was thinking."


my friend amy is pregnant and a few months ago told us about how she just went insane on her husband. told him she was going to punch him in the face and that she hated him...all combined with hysterical laughing and crying. all seemingly unprovoked. it was an episode that lasted for like four minutes. which, to dave, her husband, seemed like an eternity.

i think mine was the same thing. only i'm really glad i didn't tell landon i hate him. because that's the furthest thing from the truth.

these little hormones guys are tough to keep under wraps sometimes.

it was truly one of the most bizarre experiences i've had in all my marriage, in all my life, let alone my pregnancy.


and bless landon for not calling the funny farm on me.

1 comment:

Molly said...

I also had a hormonal wave of emotions today in the doctor's office (he was quite rude to me). It sucks being a girl sometimes, but I wouldn't trade it. I'm glad you survived it!