rock the pumpkin.

ellie was a pumpkin princess (get it? green shirt - stem, orange skirt - pumpkin, tiara), gray was a puppy (see? there are socks safety pinned to his sweatsuit hood). i was troy aikman complete with black grease under my eyes (aka smudged black eyeliner). oh, and addie is just too stinkin cute. also, my cake for the cake walk. fun times. happy halloween!

a halloween skeleton.

i think someone added extra minutes to today because in those extra minutes, i have managed to find the time to become extremely weepy this afternoon.

i don't know if maybe it's the halloween weekend, which itself isn't that meaningful to me, but when it passes it will officially be the holiday season. thanksgiving...christmas...coming. and i'm in pain over it.

i'm sad that i don't have time to do things i love to do. i feel like i just exist right now. so many realms of my life that are typically so important have just evaporated.

poof. gone. no mas.

i feel skeletal without them.

can you see through me?

because the spot that's usually filled with conversations with friends is empty. my etsy-perusing, idea-compiling spot? not there. the she-does-do-at-least-minimal-housework spot is definitely mia. the ocassional-cooked-at-home-meals spot? lost. the taking-photos-of-babies-to-post-on-the-blog spot needs serious cpr.

i feel like moments with the babies seem bittersweet because they are so rare, because i know so many moments are going on void of my audience. i inhale them with desperation when they happen, all while fighting the urge to be annoyed because the babies seem only to fuss unless they are both in my arms from the moment i walk in to the moment they go to bed.

why am i annoyed by that? what is wrong with me?!

***

always, always, i dream of sweet-smelling, calm holidays. ones filled with fun, creative family activities and yummy-yet-simple meals cooked at home that fill bellies to happy. i dream of making extra chicken chili and finding the time to drop it off at a busy friend's house. i dream of glittery, toddler-decorated winter garlands for the mantle and homemade applesauce and pecan pies.

how will i do that? when? i can't even gather the inclination to find the glitter, let alone orchestrate the seemingly momumental task of getting ellie to sprinkle it on paper snowflakes.

***

forgive my lament. it's just that i feel see-through.

and it's cold being a skeleton. i need to get warm.

do you have any idea how happy you can make 6th graders by dressing up as a rock star on costume day at school?

very. you can't see it here, but the guitar hero guitar (thanks, landon...) is the icing on the cake.

my classroom, which is about to change.

these are pictures i took at the beginning of the year, and never got around to posting. there are a few minor differences in my room right now from these shots. mostly, the desks are in a different arrangement, and there's a lot more STUFF everywhere.

but, as we speak, there are workers putting the finishing touches on BRAND-NEW-REALLY-BIG portables outside. the 6th grade should be moving there in the next few days. woohoo!! i am beyond excited because my kids are packed in our current rooms like sardines. three of the four sixth grade rooms (mine included) used to be the nursery. and my journalism room used to be the nursing mother's room. nice.

thoughts on my very first classroom?

Welcome!

My English Classroom

My Yearbook Classroom

quick!

somebody post something amazingly interesting that i need to look at!

i just happened to click on something that was a blogspot page during a google search, and it worked.

so...i really wish i had something great to post. i have some pictures of my classroom. maybe i should put those up.

nothin' cuter.

you know you can't argue.

 

meant to be.

these days, scott and kelly are renovating a super sweet old house (built in 1925) in oak cliff, and during recent demo they discovered some things that i think mean this house was meant to be theirs.

first, they found a super cool OLD steel water pistol in the attic. according to some internet research, the gun was first produced in 1935. i found one that recently sold in an online auction for $600!! kelly says theirs is not for sale. :) i love the carved initials "JY."


here's my favorite part though: in the garage, they found four old annuals dated around 1935 from none other than SMU! i mean, seriously! how cool?? how appropriate.


i am very excited for them, and i can't wait to see how fantastic they make their house. the combo of scott and kelly is sure to make a magazine-worthy house.

cold.

i was literally hoping for a fever yesterday as i drove to walgreens to buy a new thermometer. the one i already had kept reading 97.8, and that couldn't be right. achy, exhausted and downright sick, i wanted a fever to validate my pain. a fever would legitimize staying home and hiding under the covers.

at walgreens, all the cheap thermometers were gone. the cheapest one was $15. "that's fine," i thought. "at least i know it's a quality piece of equipment. and surely it'll read that i have a fever."

i bought it, along with a bag of mellowcreme pumpkins, and took it to the car. if it was a fever, i was going to drive my miserable self to the school to get my sub folder ready. if it wasn't, i was going to suck it up and just stop at heb to buy my milk monster (aka grayson) more milk.

i unwrapped my new sick stick, stuck it under my tongue and closed my eyes. thirty seconds later, "beep, beep, beep."

97.8.

stupid thing must be broken. that or i'm officially owner of the worst cold on the planet.

where the wild things are.

today, i took my first official field trip as a teacher.

 

i've been planning/organizing/arranging for weeks to take 70 sixth graders and 15 chaperones to see "where the wild things are" today, the day the movie opened. we used the classic children's book by maurice sendak to study plot this week, and the kids have been anticipating their trip to the movies for quite some time.

 

i tried to think of everything...e-ve-ry-thing. there were no children in groups with their friends, they were NOT allowed to sit with their friends in the theater or on the bus, only ONE person was allowed in the bathroom at a time, i threatened many times that they would come sit with me if they misbehaved, they were NOT allowed to buy extra concessions (kids packs came with our special showing) and on and on. i organized bus drivers, large sums of money, permission slips, emergency contacts and subs for abandoned classes. sixty-nine out of 70 kids came. the only one who missed was going to miss school anyway to show his cow at the state fair in dallas. i was pretty anal about the whole thing, really. i think, for the most part, it paid off. i started having an anxiety attack when i realized the movie was not going to end right when i thought it was, and we were going to be late for lunch. but i called my principal and lunch was very calmly adjusted to allow for us being 10 minutes tardy.

 

i am completely exhausted now. you know how when you've been working hard at something, then it's over and you feel wiped? yeah. that's me.

 

oh. the kids loved the movie. it was very good, though a bit more emotionally complex than i expected. it isn't really a little kid movie, but i do recommend it. visually, it is awesomeness. monday we'll compare the book and the movie in class. the kids are bursting at the seams to discuss it today, but i really needed silent reading to be our lesson plan for the rest of the day.

 

think anyone will notice if i crawl under the desk and sleep?

 

(please don't hate me if you've ever planned a field trip for 400 students with your eyes closed and your hands tied behind your back. i'm new. forgive me.)

 

i wish for snow.

so that i would have some reason to buy this.

 

cuatro. quatre. four.

four years? four years.

i've been married for four years. i've been a wife for four years. i have lived with landon henry for four years.

i can't believe it.

i feel what people always say about things like marriages and children: it seems like we just got married, but i can't even remember a time when we weren't.

it's true.

my being is so intertwined with his that i cannot separate anything that is important to me from him. everything is connected. as david said in our wedding four years ago, that day we stopped being "landon" OR "sarah" and became "landon AND sarah."

as with any relationship, we ebb and flow with great times and not-as-great times. but i truly buy into the belief that this whole marriage thing, when done right, gets better the longer you're together.

we have history. the more history we make, the more we have to stand on. it's hard to describe how that makes me feel. all i can say is it's wonderful. i look at landon, and i see my world. what more could i ask?

my love...it is truly an honor to be your wife and the mother of your children. i love growing and changing with you. i am so glad i chose you to be the witness to my life. and you do so much more than witness. you are the greatest thing that ever happened to me. you have taught me so much. i love you more than you'll ever know. happy 4th anniversary. yours...sarah

milk question.

besides wendy, does anyone have thoughts/experiences on/in feeding babies soy milk? other soy products? also, if you don't feed your baby cow's milk, what do you feed him/her? i'm talking at 13, 14, 15 months and up, after they're weaned from breast milk or formula.

drops of water to wet this parched throat.

i have been trying to teach so far this year without a textbook or any pre-written lessons. the curriculum we use has "exemplar lessons" that teachers can follow to the letter, but the ela teks (i realize that means little to a lot of people) were rewritten this year so there aren't any lessons in our curriculum for english teachers. that combined with not having a textbook has left me getting pretty creative and pretty PRETTY anxious about lesson plans.

 

but today, toward the end of in-service, our assistant superintendent walked in to say that he rescued dozens and dozens of english books that a middle school in saisd was going to throw out. as luck would have it, there are THIRTEEN 6th grade literature books plus TWO teachers editions plus TONS of extra resources -- reading workbooks, an audio library, listening and speaking activities, active reading guides, performance assessments, grammar practice, a research and report writing guide, interdisciplinary activities, etc. etc. etc.

 

AND it's the book i wanted! out of all the state-adopted texts, this is the one i wanted.

 

i cannot describe my joy.

 

i know getting this excited of teaching stuff probably sounds silly, but giving resources...giving HELP...to a first-year teacher is like giving water to a someone dying of thirst. as extreme as it sounds, i am truly dragging myself to each new day, unsure that i will survive.

 

after feeling pretty disjointed and scared for the past few days, i feel like the Lord is saying, "I will never leave you high and dry. I am the Provider of whatever you need. WHATEVER you need. trust Me."

 

pictures even??

(this post, pictures included, posted via...my...email.)

yet another test.

because i really must start posting with regularity.

(posted via email.)

Testing new posting options..

(posted via text message.)

untitled october.

• i am so glad the cowboys won today. i can't believe it was as hard as it was. but to lose to the chiefs would have been tragic.
• my kids are so pretty when they're freshly bathed. too bad they are not that way more often. bad mama.
• ellie says ri-dic-u-lous stuff these days. like, "i don't have the words" when she wants to sing a song but doesn't know all the words and "you're so proud of me" whenever she does something she believes i ought to be proud about.
• ellie has "miss spider's new car" practically memorized. it's pretty impressive.
• ellie is minimally potty training. the process is sort of exhausting.
• grayson stands and claps at himself and will walk all over with two fingers in his hands. try to take away even one of those fingers and down he goes. he was 14 months last week.
• this week landon and i will have been married for 4 years. last week we celebrated SEVEN YEARS together. woah. he was out of town and arranged to have a big, orange potted mum on the porch when i got home from work. so sweet. i was really wanting a mum.
• a few weeks ago landon and i went to marriage encounter. IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN, YOU MUST GO. i am personally going to call some of you who are reading this to urge you to go. it is outstanding. i can't tell you everything that happens, but it is incredibly intimate, romantic and you and your spouse will write love letters that you didn't think were possible. GO!
• teaching is hard.
• 6th graders are dirty and sick. a lot.
• i love my 6th graders. a lot.
• i am liking my yearbook class too, but i'm beyond terrified about selling the stinkin book. like...my anxiety is rising as i think about it now.
• my washing machine is broken. not good. not good at all.
• my landlord is going to pull up the nasty, old linoleum and lay down pretty ceramic tile in my kitchen in the next couple of weeks. he's also gonna take out the carpet in our master bath (always thought that was stupid) and tile in there too. i'm super pumped.
• i love that it's cool outside.
• i was gonna go to dallas one weekend this month to see an smu game (3-2, baby!), but it turns out i can't go until nov. 14. boo. i want to go. i miss my mommy and daddy and brothers and sisters.
• i wanna see scott and kelly's new house in oak cliff.
• i wanna go to ntlc, but i can't 'cause i gotta teach.
• having a second paycheck is good, but insurance (health, vision, dental AND life) is expensive. so is iteach texas. so is childcare. what's left for actual spending (read: debt pay-off) is so, so much smaller than the initial amount. sigh.
• also need to get used to the once-a-month payment thing.
• if ellie's lip gloss obsession increases anymore, we will have to buy stock in lip smackers.
• grayson loves to sing "bye, baby bunting" and wants you to sing it all...the...time.
• grayson officially stopped nursing about a month ago. i'm proud of 13 months. in the two months that he's been drinking milk, however, he has had constant poopy problems. we decided last week to try him on soy milk. the problems have ceased. do i have a lactose-intolerant baby?
• i'm so thankful for bible study, but "captivating" is tough, man.
• i'm looking very forward to the retreat next month.
• i'm nervous for the TAKS test.
• i love football. from tlca 6-man with 143 people in the stands to prime time nfl games. l-o-v-e.
• i'm not a fan of wearing uniforms to work.
• i'm trying very hard not to buy my kids tons of clothes for fall. (i heeded jo's warning to NOT go to babygap.com.) this is especially difficult when my washer is busted.
• i could have probably written an entire blog post about each of these points. that's a lot of missed blogging, folks.

all i want for christmas is this camera.