ellie and daddy.

i love this picture. mismatched colors. crazy patterns. imperfect light. no specific event or milestone with which to tag it. real life. it's the kind of snapshot you find when you're going through photos of your childhood that you just want to hold close and cherish.

grayson's haircut and other firsts.

today, at the ripe old age of 7.75 months, grayson got his first hair cut. (do you think he looks so happy because his stylist is so pretty?)

no more hitler hair. and not even a tinge of dark hair. the lock on the top of his head was still sorta brown. now, i am officially outnumbered 3:1 by blonds. he looks so big. and different! he looks different. it's crazy.

to commemorate his big day, he started eating kix. i bit them into fourths today at lunch, and he was more than happy to gum them soft enough to swallow. he had some more at dinner. puffs are definitely in our future. (sorry for the weird camera-phone pic.)

gray also got his first two teeth. they're in the front on the bottom. i first found them last monday while my sister was here. that was the...16th. i'll get a photo of those when they show up a little better.

sitting up (as you can see in the haircut photos) is also coming along quite nicely. and since he's all strong now, he's ditched the carrier as resting place of choice. (thank heavens. that thing is heavy!) he is now onto the high chair:

this was obviously taken pre-haircut.

he...is...so...big.

tweet of the day.

a tweet from pear budget: Budgeting tip of the day: Don't dwell on sacrifice. Dwell on what that sacrifice will earn: freedom? a house? a better life for your kids?

i type this with the heaviest of all eyelids.

i have been hired as a long-term sub for the remainder of the year. in a spanish classroom that was teacher-less because the guy they had was so bad they fired him in the middle of the year with no backup plan. he was apparently a terrible bully and has been gloating for years that he fails the majority of his students. i don't think that's the point, buddy. teach them; don't crush them under your thumb and laugh an evil laugh. i'm not even a teacher, and i know that. i'm at a high school that's 40 minutes away from my house. with a full, seven-period day. with no lesson plans.

sleepy. exhausted. dog-tired.

i have a minor in spanish, which means i was the most qualified person they could locate on such short notice.

i have more to write about this, but i truly cannot form thoughts coherent enough to convey anything helpful. but because i feel strangely like i owe you, internet, an explanation of major changes in my life, i'm going to type random phrases associated with my feelings about this situation.

• i want to nurse my baby.
• i want my baby to learn NOT to nurse every two hours at night.
• i need more sleep.
  
• eating relaxes me and makes pumping profitable.
• eating every time i pump is not profitable for my weight-loss goals.
• is pumping in the car in a high school parking lot weird?
• is pumping while driving illegal? does the answer to that question change when the driving is on a super straight road where i see one car every 10 minutes?
  
• 40 miles feels like a road trip. i always get snacks on road trips.
• two road trips a day times however many days are left in the school year equals lots and lots of snacks.
• too many snacks.
  
• i'm not fluent in spanish. i *think* i can convey basic concepts, which is all i'm being asked to do.
  
• the kids have not retained any spanish they've learned so far this year. should i start from the beginning?
  
• i want to teach writing.
• i want to make the most of this opportunity.
• i like the kids a lot.
• changing careers is exhausting. lots of paperwork and procedure and complicated blah.
  
• all the kids have district-issued macbook laptops. their books are on their laptops in .pdf files. super cool.
• i love the junior high kids the most. i have one class of them. eighth-graders. they're smart. and participatory. talkative, but engaged. i just like j. high kids the best. weird, i know.
• i really miss my babies during the day. they're so far away. and i come home, am with them for three hours, their fussiest of the day, then they're asleep. doesn't seem quite right.
• it has been confirmed that gray nurses mostly for comfort. i've left him bottles that i've worried would not contain enough milk. he's never finished all the bottles. stinkin' mama's boy.
• is this an answer to prayer? the esther study seemed to speak most directly to a specific issue of provision in my life, and, without any forethought, i prayed that i was believing God for an answer to my mentioned-many-times problem in the last week of the study. it ended tuesday. thursday this principal called me from out...of...the...blue.
• but it's so complicated. could this be the Lord when there are so many loose ends flapping?
• landon said "God's blessings don't always come wrapped in pretty packages."
• but i'm so tired! pretty packages are less exhuasting.
• crystal and jenny both found someone for their kids rather quickly. i had mine worked out pretty darn fast too. is He tying up the loose ends?
• i'm so tired!
• did i mention i'm tired?
• tired is an understatement.
• pray, people.
• pray.

easter centerpiece: the beginning.

here are my spray painted bunnies:


i got all three of them for $3 total at christian's in action yesterday. they weren't horrendously ugly, but i like them much better in their plain white.

me, being impatient, spray painted them too heavily and quickly at first which resulted in bubbles and drips. i sanded those off and then resprayed, but they are now weirdly patchy and mottled in some spots. you can't really tell in the pictures though, and that's about as close as i figure anyone is going to get to them. i could try to peel off all the paint and start over or go and buy some more and do it right. but...we've already established that i'm impatient. so. these will have to do for now.


here's where you come in. do you like them in the bowl with the paper grass? if you don't, what would you suggest? different container? different filler? if you do like them (and even if you don't), what should i add around the bowl to complete the look? i'm feeling a red and robin's egg blue color scheme developing in my kitchen for spring. you see the "tablecloth" (actually a piece of not-even-hemmed fabric folded and laid over the table) that i have, and my seat cushions are red.

i need some of your domestic goddessness! (yes, that is a word.)

thanks!

lessons from esther.

for the past nine weeks, i've been doing a beth moore bible study called "esther." it has been a line-by-line, expository breakdown of a book in which God is never mentioned. as we have come to learn, He may not be mentioned by name, but God is all over the book of esther.

there is no way i could ever begin to delve into the insight and revelation that has been mine throughout this study. however, the overarching truth of God's presence and providence in the lives of His people -- even when they cannot see Him -- has been as timely a message as i have ever received. God has been showing off fancy in countless realms of my life in the past several months, but there is one -- a very troubling, frustrating and scary one -- that remains unsolved so far. up to this point, i have not heard from Him regarding it.

this study of esther has confirmed in my heart that He is always working. He is always working for His purpose and He is always working for my good. (ephesians 1:11; philippians 2:13; romans 8:28.)

as i devoured the last words on the last page of this study while sitting on my back porch this afternoon, i burst into tears -- tears for the end of a great study, tears for the great, grave situation in which i find myself and tears for the great Truth. in what i can only chalk up to a Holy Spirit prompting, i turned my eyes to the far corner of my backyard.

this is what i saw:


i got up and walked across a length of dry, vicious stickers in the grass to reach the beautifully fragrant purple flowers. i touched them, and i cried some more.

and God said:

you will walk across painful and uncomfortable times. there is no doubt. but lift your eyes from your troubles and see that I am what awaits you on the other side. My beauty and fragrance is your reward. walk strong, My sarah. even when all you can feel is the stabbing in the soles of your feet, remember, i am always working. like esther, you are in the midst of a great story. you have been called to the Kingdom for such a time as this.

happy birthday, great-grandmother!

complete in their festive green, ellie and grayson wish you a very happy birthday!

sweet, sweet nephew.

today, kylah found out she's having a boy. i'm gonna have a nephew! i can't even believe it. i can't wait to meet and hold him. congratulations, sister and michael. you are already such great parents.

i'm an aunt!! yay!!

(as you can see, the shopping has already commenced. hehe.)

i don't think a picture exists of gray and i since his birth.

here we are ready in our st. patrick's day green.

i'm wondering if it's a problem that neither of my children look anything like me.

cardinal couple.

just a second ago, the most beautiful cardinal couple flew under my covered patio to get out of the rain. they were seriously gorgeous! wow. would it be silly to believe God sent them to bless me? i've been having a rough morning with ellie, and landon is out of town until tomorrow sometime.

creation has a way of putting life back into perspective, doesn't it?

*note: sorry for any confusion. this isn't my cardinal couple. yeah right. i can't take pictures like this. who do you think i am? jenny? but this is almost exactly what they looked like. so pretty!*

friday's favorite things.

welcome to this week's edition of friday's favorite things! i've been on a decorating kick at my house this week. i've rearranged the living room, and any time i do that my idea maker kicks into overdrive. i've been pouring over decorating/home management blogs that inspire me, which leads me to link to new decorating/home management blogs that inspire me. you know how that goes. i have a long list of ideas i want to try. it will probably take me weeks to complete even a few things on my list, but just the process of brainstorming things to beautify my home makes me very happy.

if you've been to my house, you know it's far from perfect. i am not a naturally organized person, and it's not easy keeping things picked up and lovely with up to four kids 2-years-old and younger here on any given day. at least not for me. i am ever working to find systems and decor that works for the state of craziness in which i live. these circumstances combined with the fact that purchasing fancy art and expensive furniture is not an option for our family, and i have the perfect chance to be creative with what i already own or can find for just a few dollars.

so...today's favorite things: inspiring decorating ideas and the fabulous blogs from whence they came.

prettifying inexpensive flowers. (idea from simple mom.) i LOVE fresh flowers. i used to spend a lot more on them when i didn't have diapers to buy. now i get garden bunches from sam's for $4 or so. pack them short and close together in jars and bottles decorated with pretty scrapbook paper and ribbon. even if my house is chaotic with mess and noise, fresh flowers make it feel cozy. fresh flowers actually inspire me to straighten and clean! i want them to displayed on a pretty surface free from clutter and crumbs.

canvas of happiness. (idea from mt. hope chronicles.) this...is...so...cool. the mom-of-3 behind this blog, heidi, had a list of things that make her happy from a creative writing class she took in college and decided to make it into art. she painted a plain canvas with colors to match her home and then wrote her "happy things" with a plain black sharpie in pretty handwriting. talk about inspiring! i am super pumped to try this. i have a big blank canvas on hand so i don't even have to leave the house to get started. she mentions in her post that this method would work with lots of different categories: "welcome" in different languages, names of family members, kitchen utensils, words related to specific seasons or holidays, etc. etc. heidi also mentions that canvases can be repainted and used for new art when you tire of your current piece.

decorating with plates. (idea from nesting place.) so lovely. for some reason this has never occured to me. i have lots of pretty decorative plates, platters, cups and condiment vessels. believe it or not, i don't use my gravy boat or my great-grandmother's china (or my grandmother's china. yes, i have two sets of AWESOME vintage china!) on daily basis. they sit in my cupboards gathering dust. why not put them out? my mind is seriously overwhelmed with the possibilities. the nester, as they call her, stacks dishes in the prettiest combinations and fills them with simple, every day or thrift store things that look genius and super decorator. her motto, which i have adopted, is "it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful."

i'm sorry he's not wearing pants, crystal.

we're against babies in pants at my house. i know that probably annoys crystal to no end, and i promise that he usually has pants on. he just doesn't. in this picture. at this one moment in time. heh.

casen and ellie have been playing like fools in this corner of the kitchen all day. they look out at the rain and make up games with all the things they unloaded from the diaper bag. ellie has been having picnics on burp rags with goodies packed in trial sized lotion bottles, saline nose spray bottles and tubes of sparkly lip gloss. she also listened to casen's heartbeat with a pair of ear buds acting as a stethoscope. and they've been reading louis l'amour. such advanced children.

gray came along after a nap and a nurse and suggested a puzzle. everyone was game. (do you see him sitting?!?!)

kids are cool, man.

*fuzzy photo via my new lg lotus. yay for functioning camera phones!*

seven months.

just one day late. see previous post.

gray is still rolling a ton, still playing a ton, still smiling a ton, still babbling a ton. he can sit for a few seconds, but not much longer so far. interesting, ellie was already on all fours and scooting by seven months. she crawled and pulled up in her eighth month. gray prefers to roll to his destinations. he weighs more than ellie did -- 19 pounds, 5 ounces at his most recent doctor's appointment. do you think they look alike? still no sleeping through the night. though, since he has gotten over the flu, he seems to be able to stretch between feedings a little more. he likes baby food, but i seem to be too busy (lazy?) to feed it to him very much. he remains my milk man. we've also discovered gray likes to sleep with music playing, but have yet to buy him a boom box. that's on the to-do list for this month. currently, we play the music on his swing (which he all but hates), which is tinny and terrible. we promise you a real boom box soon, baby boy.

as i said, this month, gray had the flu. but we also... wait, are you ready? oh, i'm so excited. ...got rid of thrush! hoooooooray! gray and i did a quick happy dance just now. thank the Lord!

he still likes to be swaddled, but only has a few blankets left that can contain him. beth could have had no idea how must-have her baby gift would be when she bought it.

favorite toys are his stuffed elephant that plays lullabies and the rainforest jumparoo that brylie donated to him. he only recently discovered he can jump in it. yeehaw!

grayson reed -- you are just about the handsomest thing i've ever seen. just today at lunch, mamo and i were talking about how all we want to do is sit around and look at your handsomeness. you soak it up too. you stare at people until they look at you, then you grin real big and look away. you're a flirt with a capital "f." watching you and ellie together brings me a joy i can't explain. your life has added a layer of greatness to our family. we would not be us without you. i love you with love wider than the ocean. your mama.

i blame the flu.

why haven't i posted friday's favorites?
why haven't i posted in response to sara's generous m-of-the-y tag?
why haven't i posted about gray's 7-month update?

THE FLU!

my kids have had it since last thursday. as in, more than a week ago. they are pretty much better, i think.

me?

i'm in the throes.

it's intensely irritating because i'll feel a little bit like i can do something, and then all of a sudden i feel like i've been run over by a truck. it started thursday evening with major congestion and sneezing. i thought i had allergies. by friday, i had the all-out 102 fever, achiness and even shooting pains in my hips and legs. yesterday was a little better, but still not good. i slept like crud last night.

today, i have mild nausea, a headache and i'm so...stinkin...hot! like, just, all the time. HOT. sweaty pits hot. so, so, so, so, so annoying. the only thing more annoying than the sweating is the one symptom i've had the whole time: a forever-constant-neverending-until eternity ends and begins again DRIPPING NOSE. as in, uninvited snot drippage all...the...time. ugh. an unwelcome side effect to the dripping of the nose for four days is flaming, burning, red, raw maddening raw (yes, that's double raw) under-nose skin. no tissue is soft enough. i've resorted to tea towels. or my sleeve.

i'm so behind on school, on work, on house cleaning, on working out, on my diet. i think the 5.5 pounds i lost last week had something to do with not eating much while i watched sick kids. also, not drinking as many cokes as usual, which led to water-weight-loss. i'm fully anticipating a significant gain when i weigh in tomorrow. i was already behind on everything due to some sickness a couple weeks ago. then the kids got the flu. now i have the flu. this is like three weeks we're talking about here.

boo to the flu. i'm annoyed.

ellie on a trike.

it is crazy to be reading about snowstorms, ice storms and people desperate for spring while we're enjoying temps in the 80s, flip-flops and tricycle rides. ahh, texas weather. mamo and pa gave ellie this pink and purple beauty for her birthday. she had more fun gathering sticks and putting them in the rear compartment than she did riding it. cutie girl.

friday's favorite things, the monday night edition.

i apologize for already skipping out on only my second friday's favorite things post. landon went out of town and took the laptop, and the kids have the flu. i'll be working further in advance from now on so i'll be prepared in case (read: when) crazy circumstances come up again.

without further ado...friday's favorite things, the monday night edition.

when i was pregnant with ellie, we registered for some art at target for her nursery. it's a group of four bug prints in square, white frames that went well with her color scheme. they are cute, but now that i've found etsy the bugs seem so, how shall i say, cookie cutter? these days, i'm way more into ecclectic. not to mention, i'm looking to de-baby her room just a tad. thus, i have started working on what i've oh-so-creatively dubbed an "art wall" to replace the bugs. the main piece in the mix is this super awesome print from studio mela. it still rocks the pink that is definitely a part of my little girl's room, but in a less frou-frou-girly way. i love all the words. they fit ellie to a t.

i've fallen in love with a blog called simple mom. i will have to post more about tsh (yes, that's how you spell it) later, but she has an e-book called "spring cleaning for normal people," (so worth the $7) which includes great recipes for homemade house cleaners. not only do these cleaners cost less, they also tend to be better for your family and the environment. my very favorite part? essential oils. tsh suggests adding a few drops of essential oil to your cleaners to make your house smell super yummy. through a series of links, i found affordable essential oils at mountain rose herbs. they are all organic and guaranteed to meet the highest standards in essential oil-dom. whatever those are. my order just arrived today, and i can't wait to get a-cleanin' with tangerine, peppermint, sweet orange and lavender.

i've had them for months, but i continue to love these vintage-inspired flashcards from land of nod. the cards are a good size and very thick. i have "g-r-a-y" and our last initial "h" hanging from the photo mobile above grayson's crib. he loves to gaze up at the more-original-than-apple "a is for auto" spinning gently in the breeze of his ceiling fan. obviously, they make great decoration, and i'm sure they'll still be a hit when my kids are too old for mobiles and start (gasp!) practicing letter and word recognition.

vintage baby.

a couple months after grayson was born, i went to granbury to meet my mom at my gramma's house. the neighborhood they live in there has an annual neighborhood garage sale where all residents are invited to have garage sales on the same day. my mom hauled a good amount of stuff down from plano to sell, and we showed up for moral support. it was the first time gray met his gigi and papa. while we were there, my gramma's friend carolyn gave us a few pieces of baby clothes for grayson. at the time, i didn't ask her whose they were or how old they were. i never had the chance to really look at them. well, i decided to pull them out while i was going through gray's closet yesterday. here he is modeling them on the porch this afternoon.

i have no idea how old they are. the tag in the hat says "carter's" on one side and "small" on the other side. you can't tell in the picture but the hat has an elastic piece that goes around gray's chin. the tag in the sweater says "stretchettes by wooly togs 6-18 months."

we also have a brown and ivory seersucker button-up sleeveless shirt and an ivory sweater. i'll have to check those for tags at our next photo shoot.

pretty cute model, eh?

thought of the day.

i am looking forward to a time when daily showering is once again an issue of pure personal hygiene, not a selfish guilty pleasure.