doc is cold. can you blame him? it's 25 degrees. brrrr...

belated belly pictures.

i think the last one i posted was 20 weeks. maybe 22. now i'm 29. and large.

'oh, the weather outside is frightful...'

just in case we get snowed in for days, i made a wal-mart run earlier this evening. at the time it was only 42 and raining. felt pretty dang cold compared to the 80 degrees it was earlier today. but it's even colder now, and it's still dropping.

i have firewood, jugs of water, plenty of food and paint for the baby's room. hey, we gotta have something to do if we're locked in here.

the plan for a fire, christmas carols and tree decorating tomorrow evening is still on.

i'm trying desperately to get things put up and organized before friday evening when delana and kylah are due. it's hard when a two-hour project wears me out enough to be ready for a full eight hours of sleep. you know, because i have about 50 two-hour projects. if i keep up this one-a-day pace, it's going to take me until after ellie is born to finish.

i made landon sausage, egg and cheese sandwiches for dinner. you would've thought i took him to a steak dinner at bob's or something the way he was raving. men are so easy to please. it's just that the things that please them are the things we don't really wanna do. cook. clean. laundry. seriously, landon is endlessly happy with dinner, clean underwear and towels and an uncluttered living room. easy enough, huh? yeah...

anyway. yeah. so we're ready for the snow. bring it on. i'm bundled up and waiting. only draw back is doc all but refuses to poop when it's anything but sunny and 75 out.

mom's getting all squishy.

a lady on the radio was just describing what her daughter says when she gets emotional about things. she says, "mom's getting all squishy." i thought the phrase was appropriate.

i don't know if it's the fact that ellie moves inside me all the time now, or it's going to be cold and super great for cuddling tonight or just the fact that it's christmastime, but i thought that was a good description for me right now.

or...maybe it's just pregnancy hormones.

i like to think it's more than that though.

i like to think that i'm blessed beyond measure, therefore i can't contain the joy that fills my heart. it has to run over in some tangible expression.

delana and kylah are coming this weekend, and just straightening things at the apartment and thinking of what i will cook for them brings tears to my eyes.

kylah is getting married, and thinking of how beautiful she will be and what an honor it is to help her plan has the same effect.

mom came to eat lunch with me at my apartment this afternoon, and just sitting with her while she puts her hand to my belly and says, "kick grammy" to ellie seems like such a gift.

my friends jeanette and amy are throwing me a baby shower on sunday, and there's no way i could tell them how much it means to me.

and landon... i don't even know where to start with landon. i checked our registry (see previous confession) and someone bought us our baby monitor. well, we live in an 860-square foot apartment. there's no way we'd miss the baby crying from our room to hers. we were discussing whether we should return the monitor and use the money for something else when landon said, "but we'll want to hear her breathe."

we'll want to hear her breathe! my handsome, annointed, strong, manly husband knows we'll want to hear our first baby daughter breathe.

i'm going to hear my baby breathe. miracle of miracles.

don't get me wrong... there are things to worry about. dad's looking for a new job, and he may end up even further away which would be terrible. we don't have enough money saved for the time i'm on maternity leave. i owe more in bills in the beginning of december than i have money.

but the baby kicking my ribs right now is a reminder that God works miracles, and it is all in His hands. if He can form a human inside of me, He can do anything. i cling to that knowledge, and i celebrate.

see? i told you. squishy.

nov. 28, and it's 80 degrees. bleh.

the only thing that's really getting me through this is that it's supposed to be 40 degrees by thursday. we're still organizing things at the house so the christmas decorations are not up yet. boo. so the plan is to get everything put away and organized by tomorrow, then have a fire and put up christmas decorations when it could be "wintry mixing" on thursday night. yeah!

yeah... only the fire/christmas tree/wintry mix image is allowing me to maintain sanity while wearing flip flops and nearly passing out from heat in my apartment this morning in november! come on, people.

in other, completely unrelated news, i'm an unashamed registry-checker. i check the registry periodically to see what has been purchased. no, i don't care that the surprise is ruined. i'm surprised plenty by who bought what, and lots of people buy things that aren't on the registry. it helps me get through the day, OK?

well, the shower is sunday, and there have been some really cute things purchased for baby ellie so far.

all i'll say is this: blankets are really popular.

discoveries.

*crocs are the only shoes. yes, the only ones i have are red. no, i don't care that they don't match anything. buy me another pair if you're so worried.
*waking up five times a night is normal.
*the heating pad in bed makes landon hot. but it feels soo good to me.
*i love my body pillow, but i think i need a king-sized bed to manage it.
*bending over is hard. putting on tights is impossible.
*watching my belly move when my baby kicks because she is getting bigger is a miraculous experience.
*getting kicked in the ribs kinda hurts.
*being pregnant at christmastime is fun.
*doc is slowly getting pushed out of my lap as ellie takes over. literally. poor guy.
*nightly backrubs are the work of a fantastic husband.
*speaking of husbands, i need to be touched. no, not like that. i just need his hand to be touching my skin somewhere. then everything is OK.
*taping a 9-by-9 nursery for painting is harder than it sounds. there are eight outlets in there. seems like enough.
*not being able to pick things up is annoying.
*elizabeth claire was definitely a great choice. the best choice.
*friends and family are indispensible.
*my grey old navy sweatsuit was sent from heaven.
*unexplainable pains are normal.
*bills are the bane of my existance.
*i could hear that "christmas shoes" song every hour, and i'd still cry every time.

lord, have mercy.

i'm at the cowboys game in the press box, and i just had to go to the bathroom. it's halftime. well, while i was there, i saw this incredibly gorgeous, not to mention syrupy sweet, exotic, south american-looking woman. that's how they usually are in sports: beautiful. i'd be floored if that woman knew much about football. but i digress... she was just beaming at the sight of my huge belly. i feel like a cow in general, plus it's hot so my face is bright red and i'm having a bad hair day. such a lovely experience. so she's asking me all kinds of questions about if it's a boy or a girl and how far along i am and when i'm due. then she says, "i was there last year. traveling was horrible." i looked at her again in the mirror, trying with all my might to figure out when in the past five years she could have carried a child in and given birth from that perfectly svelte body. "really? when was yours born?" "july 6."

seriously. is this a joke? you had a baby four months ago, and you look like that?!? excuse me, i'll have to reenter the stall now in order to puke my guts out.

i'm trying to inch my way out the door because i hate looking at my fat, red face in the mirror next to her beautiful, skinny, perfect one, and she says, "do you have a name?" "elizabeth. we'll call her ellie." "oh! my daughter is gabrielle, and we call her ellie!"

isn't that so freakin sweet...

moving: we're still in the process.

so you read that we moved some things in thursday night. then friday we moved a little bit more. then saturday we moved a little bit more.

last night was the first night we slept at our new apartment, and i slept like a baby. doc was also introduced to his new house for the first time yesterday. he loves it. he hasn't pooped inside once. miracle of miracles. he curled up in a ball and slept his sweet puppy sleep on the bed while i was getting ready for church this morning like he was perfectly comfortable. when i first brought him in the house he hid under the kitchen table and the coffee table unless i called him out. but he appears to be over it now. he slept just fine last night.

so all the stuff has been moved from mom's house/garage. a lot of it is strewn all over the place. ellie's clothes are hanging in her closet. i'm hoping to get most things put away and organized tonight so we can leave the house in some order when we leave for san angelo on wednesday, and have room to move in all the things (i'm dreading it..) that are stuffed into that storage box we're having delivered on saturday.

matt and aaron helped move so they've seen it. mom and scott have both been to the house. jeanette was there for about two seconds last night until aaron called from milwaukee, and she had to (understandably) run out and talk to him. the most extended visit was from natalie, damion, molly and chris yesterday. they came to check the place out, give thoughts on what we should paint the baby's room and watch some of the michigan/ohio state games before heading out for christmas shopping. they voted a real pale purple with a pink stripe through the middle running all the way around the room. landon really doesn't want to tape a stripe. we'll probably do one wall a little darker purple and the other three lighter. after that's finished we'll decide whether we want to add white butterflies to the darker accent wall. taking things one at a time, you know.

nat and molly brought me a birthday present - the willow tree figurine you see here. her name is cherish. she is expecting a miracle. it was a really sweet gift. i can't wait until we have a dresser for ellie so i can put it in her room. whenever i see it, i'll remember to remind her of how her mama counted down the days waiting for her arrival. she was cherished from the moment i knew she was existed. i'm gonna make sure she never doubts that. great present, girls. thank you so much.

i've seen where she'll sleep.

tonight we got the keys to our new apartment. landon, matt and aaron moved in some of the stuff we had up at mom's house. we're staying the night in prosper tonight, but tomorrow we'll be in our own place. and across just a few square feet of living room is the tiny square room where my tiny baby will sleep in less than three months. it was so nice to be in our own place. even though we don't have all of our things there, and won't until next weekend sometime, i couldn't help but imagine what life will be like there. i imagined us putting up the christmas tree - our second christmas. i imagined watching cowboys games and mavericks games. i imagined praying before dinner. and in all those images, ellie was growing in my tummy still. and then several times i walked back into that little square room and imagined where her crib would go. where my rocking chair would go. where i would be when i picked her up at night and carried her back to our bed to nurse her. i imagined that in my ideal situation i would bring this precious gift home to a house. a house that didn't have marks on the walls where the apartment painters didn't do a good job. a house that had a garage and a backyard, and not the sounds of the neighbors banging around. a house that symbolized i was ready to take care of this child. but then i realized that i can love ellie with all my heart and give her all the things she needs to be safe, warm and full right where i am. i remembered that if i'm a good mother, it'll be because i have God to help me. and He promised to help me. so i think everything will be OK.

i've seen where she'll sleep. the very room where her tiny head will rest and her chest will rise and fall with her tiny baby breaths. the place i'll rock her and sing to her and read to her. i've stood in the place where i'll bring my baby home in less than 90 days. i can't wait to look at her. just to touch her skin will be a glimpse of heaven. more than my belly is bursting, and believe me, it is, my heart is bursting. i love you, elizabeth claire henry. i've seen where you'll sleep.

a handsome husband for sister.

i won't bore everyone with the reasons why this post is so late. i'll cut right to the chase.

last weekend when we were in san angelo, my sister (in-law), kylah, got engaged! she will be marrying michael kotze on march 10 in what is sure to be one of the most beautiful weddings ever recorded in history. not only is kylah beautiful, she has fantastic taste (so does her mama) and the trials and tests that her relationship with michael has sustained has made them a deeply commited and loving couple.

her ring is BEYOND fantastic. i have photos of it before the center diamond was in place, but that just wouldn't do it justice. i'll wait until i get something that captures the bling of this thing before i blind you. get ready for that.

exciting for me is she asked me to be one of her matrons of honor. (she also asked one of her best friends jenny - she's fantastic.) there's a story that goes along with that, and it might fill you in on the relationship between kylah and me.

i was telling landon about how kylah had asked me, and he said, "is that kind of weird to you? that she would ask you to be a matron of honor when you guys haven't known each other for very long?" landon has been the best man in all his friends weddings. friends he's known since he was like, 11, or something.

well, kylah and i have known each other for four years this thanksgiving, but even so, i said, very matter-of-factly, "no. kylah is one of my best friends." without even really thinking about it, and then i sat and thought about how close we became almost immediately as i was falling in love with her brother.

not that i would expect her to ask me to be a matron of honor, but it makes sense to me. this is a woman i will no question know and live out the rest of my life with and i can't imagine being any other place than by her side the day she becomes a wife.

oh, and what a wife she'll be. she's attentive. caring. giving. and really makes any slight hint of homemaking skills i may possess look like i just stepped out of seventh-grade home ec class. she's fantastic. she's a woman of God that already blesses every person she meets, and will no doubt bless michael for the rest of his life.

she was there when i teared up telling her what i loved about her brother. she was there when i cried about my parents getting a divorce. she listened to me regarding every minute detail about my wedding. she was there when i bought my wedding dress. she was the one who cried when we told her we were making her an aunt. she is the one who has a rack full of baby clothes in her closet already. she's the one who doesn't want her bridal shower in february, only because she wants me to be able to be there.

i am slightly worried that i will have given birth less than a month before i stand up next to kylah (anyone got suggestions on what size dress to order? scratch that. don't tell me.), but that's only because i don't want to ruin her pictures.

i know and have already begun to pray every day that Jesus would be the center of this wedding, and He would make His presence known to everyone there that day. especially my best friend. kylah. she's going to be the most beautiful bride.

home james.

oh, yes. and we're home from vacation. expect more regular blogging. i have one super important thing to blog about. stay tuned.

registry fun.

landon and i are right in the midst of registering for ellie. we have a shower on dec. 3 (SO excited), and we're registering at pottery barn kids, target and requesting gift cards from ikea. i wasn't going to have pottery barn, but it's the place i found the sheets i want. and when i got to looking... man, they have some great stuff. there is a lot on that registry. really, besides the sheets, anything i get there will be a super bonus. it's all frilly and absolutely fantastic, but far from essential. i let myself have a little fun because most everything that comes from me for ellie is going to have to be essential. a poor mama makes that the way things have to be. anyway, we're going to register at target this morning for the more practical (read: boring...just kidding) things like strollers, car seats, bottles and baby nail clippers. all of her furniture will comes from ikea ($139 crib, hello!) so that's why we want gift cards there. the blanket and pillow for her nursery (not in the crib when she's in it) is what's shown here. it's the basis for her nursery and is also from ikea. i really hope it turns out beautiful. my little princess deserves a palace of nursery. i'm going to do my best to make it the way a queen would for her child, only on a pauper's budget.

i can't wait to watch you sleep, my angel ellie.

libee bear has a pink bow.

david and delana went to vermont a couple weeks ago, and brought ellie back a really great present.

in vermont they have a teddy bear factory where you can pick out the bear's fur, her heart (and make a wish on it), her clothes, her name, etc...

david picked a blond-colored bear with a pink bow on the top of her head. he made a wish on her heart, but he won't tell us what he wished. he named her libee - one of the many shortened versions of elizabeth. sweet huh?

the best part is you can pick what the bear is filled with. there's hope, joy, giggles, smiles and happiness among other things.

but david chose imagination. first he told us he picked imagination because ellie was going to have the best parents she could imagine. and then he said, quoting ephesians 3:20, "i picked imagination because the Lord said He could do exceedingly abundantly above all we could ever ask or imagine."

we cried.

baby eclair.

as you know, talks have been going on for quite awhile discussing what this crazy kicking baby inside of me will be called.

we're on vacation, and on sunday landon's dad (david) introduced landon and i to the congregation. (he's a pastor.) not only did he introduce us, he introduced elizabeth.

then on monday, landon's best friend (lennon) introduced landon and i to his chapter one group. (he's a pastor too.) he had them pray for us. in his prayer, he prayed for elizabeth.

landon and i really like claire as well, and ellie just seems right. between the confirmation of the public announcement and our heavy leaning toward the name, it's been settled.

the winner is elizabeth claire. elizabeth claire henry.

we'll call her ellie.

e. claire. eclair.

that's right. super sweet.

look at this!