war kids relief.

a good friend of mine is working to spread the word about a very worthy cause.

he asked me to help, and i said yes.

to read about that cause, see his blog here.

do what you can.

these kids need us.

audrey anne mccollough.

she was born this afternoon in corpus christi.

6 pounds, 13 ounces.

22 inches long.

i've heard everyone (baby plus mom, annie and gramma, cherie) is fine.

stay tuned for pictures of brand-new audrey.

worst-case scenario:

your mother-in-law is in town, and while you're standing there having a perfectly lovely conversation and adoring your four-month old puppy, he decides to hop into her open suitcase and take a pee atop her neatly folded clothes.

yeah. that happened to me last night.

nice...

flattered, but...

does anyone else see why this meant-to-be-compliment could really actually hurt someone's feelings?

"you look SO good today! what happened?!?"

ha.

hahahahahahaha.

the shameless posting of kudos.

1.) "your blog is a direct reflection of your cuteness. i love your blog. and because i know you, i can totally see you all over it. i like it because i see all the things i like about you right there on the screen. so i can still see ya when you aren't there."

2.) "i think your blog rocks. i know i'm biased, but it's fun and whimsical and sometimes sad and serious. keep writing."

(excerpts from a conversation.)

i read through my blog sometimes, and i'm amazed at what a dork i am.

it's really very train-of-thought-ish.

jeff's blog is so intellectual and worldly.

but maybe his is train-of-thought-ish, too.

his train of thought is just more sophisticated than mine...

i wonder if he ever preplans his posts.

i always imagine they flow out of him like warm syrup from a pitcher.

procrastination.

have...to...focus...

so...hard....

don't...want...to...work...

in honor of baby fever...

natalie has it. cherie's daughter is having a baby. molly's friend lori is having a baby. there are like three new babies in my office, and three more on the way. and i can't help but dream of a super expensive, beautiful nursery for my beautiful babies. even though they won't be here for several years.

but look at this!

i want this so bad. everything. the crib, the bedding, the rocking chair. even the paint and the hardwood floors. it'd only put me back several thousand dollars... i'm going to start saving now.

so classic. all my babies, boys or girls, could sleep in this fabulous crib.

oh...i'm going to faint with the splendor... don't tell landon.

for clarification.

in an earlier post about my weight loss journey, i threw out the number "10."

i was referring to my quest to think of weight loss as a long-term project, not something to be judged week-by-week. i said, "here's hoping that over a 10-month period, odds are i can come out on top if i just work at it."

it's funny because i thought twice about saying 10 months. there really is no meaning in the 10 months. it was just a longer period of time than one week, and it's what i came up with off the top of my head.

i am planning on making my new eating habits and weight loss (and then maintenence) a life-long priority. not just something for 10 months. nothing is happening in 10 months. it's totally random.

so...for those of you rooting for me and concerned that my vision is short-sighted, i assure you, i'm looking beyond 10 months.

and don't worry. i don't think you're a stalker.

crap week No. 2. (aka: week 3 diet results.)

week of March 19:

goal: 28.8 lbs

lbs lost this week: +.6
total lbs lost: 3.6
lbs to goal: 25.2

....

this is going in the complete opposite direction than it needs to be going. however, i will say that there is nothing to blame it on this week but a lack of discipline on my part. i didn't count points. i ate friend chicken. i didn't work out. not once.

but i did stay for the meeting this morning, and i realized something. this is a journey. every week is not going to be 5-plus pounds lost. and two weeks of gaining is disappointing. but let's think about the options: 1.) i give up and just keep gaining more and feel like crap, possibly hindering my health for the future and definitely hindering my self-imagine or 2.) i try again. and think about the long term. yeah, i did crappy for two weeks, gaining back 1.6 of the 5.3 pounds lost. but there's always next week.

here's hoping that over a 10-month period, odds are i can come out on top if i just work at it.

plus there's the thought of myself in a bikini. and that's enough to send me back to carrots and broccoli faster than the speed of light.

good thing for the week: stuffing myself with fried food and/or mexican actually makes me sick to my stomach now. it's an uncomfortable feeling that really makes me want to vomit to get rid of it. (don't worry...VERY far from bulimia.) but seriously... it's like i'm uncomfortable eating too much or eating crap. and that's progress. right?

today sucks.

1.) no money.

2.) it's cold, and i just wanna be in bed.

3.) deadline.

4.) hungry. (read: no money.)

5.) my t-9 text messaging doesn't recognize the word 'tortilla.'

can things get any worse?

**updat: also, th '' on my kyboard stoppd working. crap.**

yea, for happy surprises!

i just remembered i have a diet pepsi and sugar-free jello in the fridge here at work!

(hey...you gotta take 'em where you can get 'em.)

quote for today, stolen from another.

"the advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving." - russell green

week 2 diet update and results.

week of March 12:

goal: 28.8 lbs

lbs lost this week: +1 (yes...that's PLUS!!!)
total lbs lost: 4.2
lbs to goal: 24.6

i blame my period. it's starting as we speak.

disappointing.

i start working out this coming week so hopefully that will help.

i think after last week's great success, i got a little cocky. i just followed the rules and five pounds fell off. so then... i think this week, with the combination of confidence and womanly cycle-induced cravings, i was not as strict as last week. i ate good for the most part, but got a little carried away with the sweets. and yeah, i'm retaining water.

so anyway... that's this week's story. not nearly as wonderful and cheery as last week. but i'm still on the bandwagon. had rice cakes, a veggie sandwich, string cheese and a pickle for lunch. learned that my favorite dreyers all-fruit popsicles are only 2 points. will start working out. next week better be better, or i'm gonna be real pissed. real, real pissed.

love is...

and i know it is.

here fishy, fishy, fishy...

last night landon and i went to rockfish for dinner with dad and travis. this is travis, who ordered this massive portion of steamed snow crab legs. this is him with the leftovers. landon and i shared the same portion. crazy travis. it was quite yummy and so nice to have a treat the day before payday. normally we would've been eating pb&j on the night of the 14th. you know what i mean....? so it was good times. and dad gave us tickets for the mavs game next tuesday, which will be a blast. fun was had by all. travis and dad have been hanging out for the past four days because it's t's spring break. isn't he so cute? also good times: steamed crab: 1 point. steamed shrimp: 1 point. we are so going to rockfish again soon.

five months.

i haven't done this since we've been married, but it seems like the cool thing to do. also it's been awhile since we checked out any wedding pictures. so here's one.

today landon and i have been married for five months.

next month it'll be six! half a year! man... time flies.

the fact that we're five months today, means in three days nat will be six months already.

and tomorrow it will be seven months until molly's wedding!

ahh! love the wedding (and marriage) madness.

weight loss excitement!!

ok so last week after natalie showered compliments (i.e. "i'm SO jelly!") on me after my news of 5.2 pounds lost, she called me and told me she lost 4.7 pounds! super exciting. and even though she predicted it wouldn't be so, she was a big loser, just like me. i'm so proud of her. we're totally on the way to being super skinny and fab.

ALSO... landon has been working out a ton. and i woke up this morning to him kissing me and saying, "baby... i don't know if it's right but the scale says 245."

he's so cute to preface that with "i don't know if it's right..."

but he weighed himself on that same scale before and he has lost 10 pounds!

dang men... losing 10 pounds in no time.

but i'm super proud of him, too. he's so sexy no matter what, but i love it when he feels good about himself.

love nat. love my husband. love all the good news.

yeah for feeling good!

super hot dog.

i just can't get enough. he's so wonderful.

baby at rest.

yes, in the one picture, his nose is in landon's booty. apparently neither of them minded.

my googly-eyed wrestler.

isn't he so fabulous? three months old now. precious.

a fantastic description.

this is from a blog that i read on a regular basis. he is an AMAZING writer and a genius for sure.

"i'm sitting behind the smallest, most adorable baby girl you've ever seen. she has milk-chocolate skin and purple ribbons in her hair and since I skipped breakfast I may just slather her in whipped cream and dust her with cinnamon and eat her instead."

i mean.... incredible.

week 1 diet results.

i weighed in this morning and.....(drumroll please).....i lost 5.2 pounds!

talk about motivation! i was all prepared to be happy with just learning as much as i did.

5.2 pounds.... that's a third of my 10 percent goal. in the first week.

wow.

now i'm preparing myself for a 1 pound loss or even a stay-the-same next week. not because i'm settling for that, but because i really could get used to everyone clapping for me in the meeting because i lost 5. but i know that won't happen every week. and i don't wanna be super sad next week.

also discovered today in the meeting that my BMI is 25.52 or something like that. ww says healthy is between 20 and 25. so...my goal is a 22.

goals everywhere...

now just 23.6 pounds to go!

the death of an orchid.

ok... so it didn't really die. but my super pretty blossoms fell off. just in a matter of two days they wilted, drooped and dropped off. it is sad.

so here is my orchid stick. i don't know if this thing will produce new buds or what.

i sure hope so.

i've failed as an orchid mama. sad, sad orchid mama....

week 1 diet update.

ok.... so for those of you who don't know, i started weight watchers a week ago today.

sometime back in february, or maybe even january, i mentioned some randomly tossed out idea of losing a pound a week and quitting diet cokes (ha!) and how i was gonna get super skinny.

well... until last thursday, that was not happening at all. it was a randomly thought-up blog post and that's it.

under the advice of a "family friend" - i decided i'd try weight watchers. she's 50, has had 3 kids and wears a size 4. if she can do it, i can do it!

so everyone knows how weight watchers works - you get a certain number of points depending on your weight (i get 22) and then 35 extra points for the week.

i have gone over those points every day. and ending today...i think i'm 16 points over for the week INCLUDING the extra 35. not so hot. but i think i have learned some things.

i'm eating less than I normally do, even going over the points. and what i think i've accomplished this week is really being disciplined with writing things down and being aware of the things that go into my mouth. then when i look back on the day's food intake, i find myself thinking, "i totally could have gone without that and been fine."

i realized that my FAVORITE sandwich - an italian sandwich from pot belly's - costs me 20 points. TWENTY!!! like i said, my point allowance for the day is 22. so that sandwich is out. (sniff...)

i learned that hot dogs, though very easy to cook at the end of a hard day, are not a good choice. (at least not the regular ones. maybe i'll look for "light" hot dogs.)

i learned that eggs, milk, my Fiber One cereal, cheese, low-fat (individual serving bags of) popcorn and sugar free chocolate pudding are great choices that make it seem like i'm getting good treats, but don't cost me too much.

i learned that i like the way i feel when i drink lots of water.

i learned that whole foods has a really great half sandwhich made with turkey and provolone and some kind of yummy spicy tortilla that i love for lunch.

i learned that i'm happy to stuff myself with fruits and vegetables.

i learned that it's fun to find fabulous salad dressings to eat with zero-point-counting vegetables.

i learned that the low-fat, sugar-free wheat bread really is tolerable and two pieces is 1 point.

i learned that a piece of angel food cake is 2 points! i love angel food cake... such a pretty name for a yummy dessert.

overall i think it's been a successful week. even if i haven't lost any weight when i weigh in tomorrow morning (i'll give you the update then), i think it'll be OK. i know it'll come off soon enough.

28.8 pounds to go, baby!

and maybe, just maybe, some of that is gone already....

**WARNING: crazy talk.** the need to please.

i have this inherhent need to please everyone.

it's something i must overcome, but so far, in my 23 years, i have not been able to.

i want to please everyone from complete strangers to those closest to me. and i end up getting myself into compromising situations because of it.

i want to please people who've hurt me. people who've disappointed me. people who don't deserve to be pleased.

i also want to please people who love me, cherish me and deserve to be pleased.

i have this feeling of desperation and panic and sadness when i cannot please people. and it happens. because i cannot please everyone.

i don't know how to distinguish between who i should please or when i should please them. because what pleases me is to please others and so based on that, i always lose somehow. i don't know any other criteria to base it on.

and to be honest, i think half of the problem is in my head. i don't know if the people i feel i'm disappointing are really as disappointed as i perceive them to be.

and then sometimes it seems i can explain the problem well enough to myself that it appears this is just a selfish weakness i have in which i am made to feel important and needed when i please people and receive their praise.

there must be an answer to this. i have yet to tap into it.

in the meantime, i'm feeling like a disappointment to at least one person right now. probably two or three or four...

my oscar winners.

funniest moment: it was a tie between jennifer garner almost falling on her face on the way to the microphone and three 6 mafia's acceptance speech for "it's hard out here for a pimp" incidently, i ended up watching "hustle & flow" after the oscars were over. landon rented it.

best acceptance speech: another tie between gavin hood for "tsotsi" and of course, reese witherspoon for "walk the line."

best dress: hillary swank. black and strapless and she's perfect. how can you beat that?

best story: director robert altman and his story about having a young 30-something woman's heart.

movie i never heard of, but now want to see: "mrs. henderson presents" with judy dench. i love her.

i love, but... "pride & prejudice" and kiera knightly, but i hate her hair the orange color it was last night and for "domino." i like it dark like it was in "p&p."

i'm so glad... reese witherspoon won best actress. she's precious and she was in "legally blond" (1 and 2) AND has an oscar for best actress. now that's accomplishment.

i'm annoyed by... the bow on charlize theron's dress. she's immaculately beautiful, but...reminded me too much of the 80s.

i give john stewart a... C+ he didn't annoy me, but i never laughed.

partyin at the palomar.

this is me, jay and tiffany at a party our company had at the palomar office last wednesday. our advertising department recently launched a section called "homes and estates" and it was a party to celebrate the launch and try to get new advertisers for the next one. the editoral peeps (me and tiffany) and the art department peeps (jay) were invited for a more well-rounded presence of our whole paper. it was good times. and this picture successfully combats the bad-hair picture from a couple of posts ago. and enforces the truth that fat people (me) should always wear black. doesn't jay looked thrilled to be here? funny guy.